How do you keep going?!

[Purple_Labyrint]

Diagnosed Aug 2018 Lupus (SLE) Nephritis (stage 4 KD) and then Dec 2020 diagnosed with Scleroderma. I’ve had Raynauds since 2017. I currently work 40 hours a week and I can’t do anything else I’ve even struggled to take my meds for a weeks. I don’t have the energy to do anything

I applied for PiP in Nov 2020 and had my assessment this week and even if I get a little something it’s not going to help me lower my hours

I have so much debt to pay. If I didn’t have my partner I just don’t see the point in anything anymore. I have a follow up with rheumatologist next week and I’m going to tell her I’ve hit my breaking point.

Any advice to keep going

[Neriah]

You poor soul, you sound really desperate. I'm so sorry. Can you allow yourself, if only briefly to stop, take stock and consider your options?

Have you thought of contacting any of the organisations which advise people in debt? The only one I can think of off the top of my head is CAP ( Christians against Poverty) and they have a good reputation I believe. But there are others.

Speaking to your rheumatologist sounds like a good idea. Do you need to write down what you want to say before you go? Sometimes

it's difficult to come across clearly if you are too upset, specially if you have had to be sitting around for ages in a hot waiting room! Is there someone who could go with you to your appointment, to keep you on track?

Do you have friends and family who could help you with a few things? Doesn't necessarily have to be a lot, just a little can make a big difference.

Are you and your partner able to talk openly and caringly about your respective needs in this situation . The great phrase to remember is Plan (what needs to be done), Pace (speed and timing) and Prioritise ( does a simple meal on the table come before vacuuming the floor ). Could you and your partner discuss along thes lines perhaps?

Is your GP supportive? If not, can you change to one who is? Are your employers understanding? (What work do you do by the way?)

I know that's a lot of questions; I hope some of them are useful to you. You are in my thoughts.

[strawberrylips]

Good afternoon, Neriah is right you must get some help, there are organisations our there who help people who are in debt.Not only have you got dept worry, you have your health issues which will be making things worse.

The CAB are excellent at helping people who have difficulties with dept issues, please give them a call, I volunteered with them years ago and know they will help.

Hope your appointment with your rheumatologist goes well too.

[Oshgosh]

Ithink you need to perhaps contact CAB about your financial problems.Give them a call.

Your physical health problems health problems are another matter.

Perhaps you could write down all your concerns,then if you get upset,you can give the consultant the piece of paper ?

It must’ve hard working full btime ,when you feel so ill.

I hope the consultant can help you in some way.

[CecilyParsley]

I am so very sorry that you are struggling so badly both physically and financially.I know how stressful debt can be especially when you are feeling so ill. I can wholeheartedly recommend Step Change. They can write to your creditors and get the interest stopped and set up a repayment plan that is affordable for you. All demands and letters will then stop and you pay Step change a monthly amount. It was an absolute life saver for me. Regarding your work situation, ask to be referred to Occupational Health and tell them how much you are struggling. They may advise reduced hours or lighter duties which may help you. I truly hope that with all of us here you will find something that helps you.. you are definitely not alone. Thank goodness you have a Rheumatology appointment shortly. I hope that goes well for you too. Good luck xx

[panther50]

So sorry to hear things are so difficult for you at the moment. It can feel so hard to keep going when everything seems overwhelming. Some really good advice here, CecilyParsley is right, your employer has a duty of care to you and has to make reasonable adjustments. Speak to HR, your rheumatologist should be able to write them a letter. Definitely tell the rheumatologist that you are feeling close to breaking point, I’d approach your GP too they will have experience with employers. It may be that you need to be signed off for a little while. To keep going be kind to yourself. Can you think of small things you enjoy that you’re able to do?e.g. A lovely bath, a good film, chocolate cake, listening to your favourite music, a walk in the sunshine. Small things, but the idea is to try to give yourself a little break. Anyway this is what I’ve been advised in the past and it does help, even if you think it won’t before you do them. Good luck xxx