Hello Everyone,
I’ve not written in a while. Things have not been good recently. I’m in a lot of pain this morning; mostly in my back (right hand side) and lower left abdomen. Still no further forward in understanding what is causing these pains. Went up to A&E the other week when it became unbearable and was told just to go home and take more morphine.
My rheummy saw me again the other week. I asked him why he won’t officially diagnose Lupus (currently Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease). He told me that he still thinks it is Lupus but I didn’t really understand why he wouldn’t give me the diagnosis. Something about a sliding scale?
Anyway....he x-rayed my spine to see if they could identify what is causing the back pains. It’s been over a month and I haven’t seen any results.
I’ve also been referred to another rheummy in the dept who specialises in Becets and vasculitis. I have to wait until August for my appointment. I’m a bit confused about this referral but at this point I will talk to anyone who will listen!!
In general, I just feel like ****! And it’s relentless....I thought that there would be some sort of remission but the malar rash, ulcers, hair loss, fatigue and PAIN are there each and every day. It’s been 15 months now and I feel worse than I did back at the start. I don’t even get good days anymore just bad days that are not really bad days.
I am now coming to terms with the fact that I may not be able to go back to work and that really scares me. I won’t qualify for any benefits so I would have to rely on my husband for everything. Is that fair? I don’t know.... but it makes me very sad.
My husband and family want me to contact the rheummy again to tell them how bad things are. But I don’t want to be that annoying patient that the Doctors all get bored of. What do you all think? Should I call them or ride it out on the morphine train until August?