This is my first post and to be honest I feel a bit silly posting because having read most of the stories on here I as of yet have not received a diagnosis of lung cancer.
I'm a 41 year old male who started coughing up blood at the start of January. This has happened to various degrees every single day, initially I didn't think it was coming with a cough as it would just seem to fill in my mouth or appear if I sucked in my cheeks over and over again. I buried my head in the sand for the first week and a half before bucking up courage to tell my wife. Before that I made the mistake of Googling my symptoms which also included being short of breath plus a horrible constant salty taste in my mouth I am sure you can picture the results that were returned from Google.
I went to an ENT appointment at the hospital and they couldn't find anything wrong but said they would write to my GP as the cough, blood and arm ache (although I didn't have the arm ache until after I googled symptoms) were cause for concern.
Saw my GP who sent me for an urgent Xray (that was 8 days ago) and at the same time referred me for a CT Scan which is happening this evening. I am just so scared I have convinced myself that I have lung cancer and already have gone through so many stages of grief even before the diagnosis. Too scared to phone the GP to find out if my chest xray results are back and just cannot concentrate. I know most of you on this forum have much more pressing issues but I am so scared, each day is difficult to face. I have been a smoker for 25 years never really trying to give up and I seem to have come to terms with the fact it will be bad news.
I just cant imagine how I will cope, even after reading your posts on here and taking so much courage from them, I don't feel I have any fight in me. I just want to sleep and wish I had just ignored the symptoms and carried on as normal. Things just don't seem to be moving fast and I jump every time the phone rings. I have four young children and worry about them all.
I'm sorry for posting. I don't expect replies but have found this good to rant a bit.