Been to see oncologist today, my dad who is 65 has lung cancer and in his lymph nodes. He starts chemo in 2 weeks.

He does not want know anything other than treatment. I totally understand him. This is torture.

[Hidden]

Hi Dazraw, I appreciate it must be very difficult for and your family at this time. My kids told we they were terrified when I was diagnosed 2 years ago. Was anyone with your dad when he received his diagnosis? Perhaps if you talk to him and ask if you can speak to his lung cancer nurse privately so that you are aware of all the effects of his treatment and how you can be able to help him. There are some people on this site who have had the cancer tested for specific mutant and this allows for targeted therapies. Some of the Roy Castle site advisors will give you some links. Also hopefully some other of the community who have been in a similar situation can give you advice.

Good Luck

Rab

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you rabbie, I have spoken to nurse and oncologist in depth. I respect my mum and dads wishes about only knowing of treatments. I have been told because I asked outright.. Ime up and down all the time, but ime so positive around my parents.

[Hidden]

My dad is chirpy as per his usual self. He's actually put on 3lbs.. He has daily rest and without knowing it's not hopefully affecting him mentally. Just be positive and it's down to the strengths of the individual. He does get short of breath, but he knows what his limits are .

[trot]

Hi Dazraw, the only advice I can give you is hang in there. It is a awful rollercoaster ride, one minute your up and the next your down. My dad didn't want to know too much information about his cancer he just wanted an operation and to fight it all the way. I do believe my dads positive attitude did give us longer with him. He couldn't be operated on as it was too close to his wind pipe but dad still kept fighting it. Stay positive in front of your parents but make sure you have someone to support you, it will help when you need a good shoulder to cry on. Respect your dads wishes even if you find it very difficult not to agree with him.

Keep posting on here for any advice I found that it really helped to talk to people that have experienced it be it a patient, family or friend.

Thinking of you.

Trot

x

[Hidden in reply to trot]

i will and thanx trot x

[nixy]

Hi Dazraw45, I am 65 and have breast and lung cancer, Had my first chemo the Friday before Xmas. The chemo was painless, the tablets since have made me feel sick, but up to now I feel fine. I know it is really hard on the family I only have one daughter and I feel so sorry for her and the grandkids, but she sees me being positive and we laugh at all sorts of daft things. Keep your chin up and good luck x

[Hidden in reply to nixy]

All the best wishes to u nixy, x

[Andrea82]

Hi there it's awful, my dad has lung cancer and also in the lymph aswell. He has had chemo and radiotherapy and it has shrunk. We are just waiting more results. It's an awful waiting game! I am a positive person around my parents too but it is hard.

[Hidden in reply to Andrea82]

I hope it's good news, I've always been positive, but this is the hardest thing isn't it x

[Hamby]

Feel for you I have been there with my partner it's so cruel my heart goes out to you xx

[Hamby]

Iknow it's torture just been through it with my partner he had lung cancer which spread to lymph nodes also adrenal gland but unfortunately it had spread to his brain It's hard to watch someone you love so much loose there quality of life and you just don't want to see them suffer in the end make sure you are there for them and cherish the time you have left xx

[LorraineD Partner Roy Castle]

Hello Daz

I hope the comments from our forum members have been helpful. It is a difficult situation you find yourself in but you are managing incredibly well - recognising that you need to know and speaking to the nurse whilst respecting your mum and dad's preference to know only the essentials.

This is an emotional time and I am sure you will find yourself thinking and reacting in a whole range of ways. This is about your dad but it is also about family and how we react to illness. Make sure you have someone to talk to about the situation, whether a professional or friend.

You may find some of the material in our "Answering your questions booklet" useful - is available on the information pages roycastle.org

Your dad may need some support as he goes through chemo - different people manage the treatment well or have some side effects and there are practical tips on minimising those. The fact that your dad has put on some weight and has a pragmatic approach will stand him in good stead. If you need any more information do contact us.

Best wishes

Lorraine

on behalf of the Information & Support team

Roy Castle Foundation

freephone 0333 323 7200, option 2

[Hidden in reply to LorraineD]

Thank you