Sorry I disappeared. Let me first explain this is my 3rd attempt at writing this post... long story but anyway! Have missed you guys, always looked forward to your posts. I will try to catch up.
This continues to be an arduous journey. I just had back surgery (disc)....& I’m back in emotional, exasperated, I’m just trying to live and function and I’m tired. I’m taking pain meds and they make feel so unstable. Everything makes cry....plenty of good things too and I’m in tears. It’s embarrassing.
Ok, needed to unload and reach out again. Thanx! Lol...
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scottlg
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Cancer patients suffer PTSD at a rate higher than average across the board. While your body is trying to find a balance between treatment, pain and recovery you might ask about using antidepressants for a few months. My experience was that it helped me stay on an even keel and I was able to feel things in an authentic way. I was afraid of feeling wooden-didn’t happen.
Scottig nice to hear from you again you Don,t need to be afraid to post we all care if you need to rant cry we,'ll be right there with you.so please Don,t stay away were all here for each other if you need to talk I,m here and so are the others. susiejo1948
Thank you for coming back to us! I am so sorry you are in a bad place, but please know your feelings are real and you need someone who will respect where you are and help you, you have been through so much. Please reach out and tell your medical team, or someone else you trust, how you feel. Your pain is real, your emotional roller coaster is real. You need to have some ease, some shelter. I am glad you came back here, as you know, these folks are remarkable and wise. Hugs.
Scottig, welcome back! We are always here to listen, and sometimes try to help.
It would be good to talk to your doctor about seeing a pain management doctor. I fractured my back 29 years ago and after extensive surgery to stabilize things have been on pain meds ever since. I am on a pain med that does not make me emotionally unstable or take away my brain. Most pain management docs are anestesiologists too and know which families of drugs can help you . Recently we tried to switch, and it was not a good choice as I went through emotional swings and felt out of it all the time.
If you don't think the crying is from the pain med, then please talk about a mood stabilizer - there are some wonderful advances in meds and you don't end up feeling nothing, just not crying all the time.
When I first saw my primary doc after my cancer surgeries he told me that I would be like a China doll, easily broken. Or as Denzie says, have PTSD. I found that very inciteful from a man young enough to be my son until I found out that he is facing some of the same issues, but with a different cancer. His personal experiences have put him in touch with his patient's feelings and desire to find the best alternatives out there. He even suggested an alternative treatment that he is trying called low dose Naltrexone which may help this old body fight my new presumed lung cancer. He is using it himself so far with good results. In the dose prescribed, it works with the immune system with minimal side effects. I will not know if it is doing anything for me until my next scan in February.
He, like me, is not thrilled with the thought of conventional chemo and found out about this treatment from one of his patients. My oncologist is probably shaking his head saying there she goes again. After all, there are no double blind studies to show that this works. My doc and I both researched it and felt it is worth a try.
This all came up in my pre op exam for cataract surgery. This door opened quite by accident, or was it? This is a long winded way of saying that sometimes a new door opens at the most unexpected time.
You have been through the mill. Back surgery on top of everything else you have been through plus being back on pain meds again has opened up old feelings. I've said it before that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you need to vent here, do so. We can take it and have in most likelihood done it ourselves.
Be well. Continue to reach out here. We understand.
Hey Scott...Thanks for coming back...I have missed you. Because of your career, you know more about depression drugs than us lay people..don't know if that is good or bad..for you. Know we are here for you. Don't feel bad about tears, I cry myself to sleep almost every night..it is my new me. I never cried much before but so what. It's okay.. My dog Winnie comes over to me and jumps on my lap (100 lbs) when she hears me cry. Petting her helps me. That probably sounds dumb..but in my feeble why..I'm trying to show you..we all are with you and do understand. Write more when you can. Hang in there. We are here for you! Marymac4441
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