Husband recently diagnosed with stage 4 adnocarcinoma

[judieschoyer]

My husband was just recently diagnosed with stage 4 adnocarcinoma. It has been tough to go through this. Any advice how to keep going and not be so depressed?

[scifiknitter Blogger]

Judie,

You have taken a step by joining this community! There is no support quite as good as that from people who have walked the same road you are on.

Does the office where your husband have treatments know of any support groups in your area? A support group for caregivers could be helpful. If you have any hobbies or if you are in any organizations that bring you joy, this is not the time to give them up. Also, you might check into getting some counseling. You have concerns that you probably do not want to share with your husband or others who love you, and a counselor is where you can talk about the scary stuff in complete safety, knowing you are not causing pain to others.

Take as good care of yourself as you are of your husband. This means eating well, getting enough sleep, and relaxing with a comedy on TV. While your future feels so uncertain, each day is filled with moments when things are OK right then. Try to pay attention to the moment, and don't look too far ahead. You do not know what will happen in the future, and whatever it is will probably look different than the worst case scenarios that may be spinning in your head.

Hugs, Anita

[Denzie Moderator Volunteer]

First please know that this doesn't have to be a death sentence. In the first 40 years after Nixon declared war on cancer there were some 3 or 4 innovations in lung cancer treatment. In the last year and a half there have been something like 6 or 7. With promising new protocols in development.

My stage 4 diagnosis came a little 6 years ago. At that time I was told I had 10-15 months to live. I had no clue that it was possible to outlive the average prognosis. Yet here I am.

Anita's suggestion for a support group is excellent. I truly believe that participating in programs at my center helped guide great choices that have kept me going. I attent a place called the Cancer Support Community. They are affiliates of Gilda's Club. They have support groups for caregivers. I first attended when my mom was diagnosed and I was her caregiver so I've come full circle. They've been amazing for me as caregiver and survivor.

You may find one close to your home through this link: cancersupportcommunity.org/...

This site has some wonderful information and there are people who are here to offer guidance and support via their phones.

Welcome to the FtB boards. You are not alone.

[Cpark10s in reply to Denzie]

What treatments are you currently taking?

[FtB_Peggy]

Judie,

Welcome! I am so sorry to hear about what you and your husband are facing right now. Please don't give up hope, and please take care of yourself! Feel free to call my toll free at 844.835.4325 or on my direct line 608.828.8847. If you would like our Resource Guide on support groups for caregivers, please just email me at [e-mail].

Hugs and caring thoughts,

Peggy

[Ruthie1950]

I truly believe that everyone who receives this diagnosis first must go through a certain amount of depression. It is not a desirable explanation for why you're so sick.

When I was first diagnosed in 9/2015, I cried at the drop of a pin. I especially cried when no one was around. I didn't want pity or attention given to me because I was sick. It took me a while to accept the fact that I had stage 3B NSCLC. I THINK I KNEW BEFORE I WAS DIAGNOSED BUT REFUSED TO ACCEPT IT.

I am a born again Christian and have witnessed first hand what God is able to do. I began to pray and ask God to give me strength to face whatever was coming my way. Every day I felt better able to cope with the inevitable which was being deathly sick, tired and getting treatments which would make me even sicker.

One day after all the treatments were finished and I was probably at my lowest, I woke one morning and in my prayer time with the Lord, I simply said, "Lord, I can't carry this any further so I'm asking you to carry me through whatever your Will is for me. Since that day I can honestly say that I have been given the peace that passes understanding He promised in His Word, the Holy Bible, KJV.

My cancer has been inactive since 5/2016 but I just found out earlier this month that it has become active again. I'm going through a battery of tests and hope to find out what treatment is possible or if none. I know whatever the outcome, I'm going to be alright.

I pray you and your husband will get to know Christ as your personal Savior and let Him carry the load that your trying to carry. He is able to all things. Nothing is impossible with God!!!

God bless you.

[MFH_Advocate in reply to Ruthie1950]

Ruthie1950 Thank you for sharing such a powerful story.

[Nay2018 in reply to Ruthie1950]

Ruthie 1950, yes God will prevail. Even though I had my husband by my side at every test, dr. consultation & treatment depression set in. I was honest & shared that with him. We started praying every single day. I learned to listen to God instead of doing all the talking. Will be praying for you. Keep us posted. I,too, am Stage 111 but A &NSCLC. However. I tested EGFR which means mutation. Diagnosed 8/2015. Started being checked every 3 months starting in 4/2016. Due for another CTScan this month. No fear hear. God's plan is my plan. Blessings your way!

[Esthersm]

Judie , do you have other family members can be in your support system? How old is your husband? I'm 76 and also go to the local cancer support group ,they also have caregiver support group too . I learn so much & more stronger than I started my journey. Ask your doctor for some happy pills , they may ease your worries .

[tgrizzard17]

My husband has been fighting stage 4 nsclc since June 2013. You need support also. There are many organizations that have support groups for caregivers. You have to try to help him find good in cancer so this new life you both have started in can be manageable. Cancercan only take what you let it. In some ways cancer has been a blessing to our family. Life is not taken for granted anymore. We hold our family and friends closer. We made a choice to start living. My husband was diagnosed around the time the star of the Sopranos had a massive heart attack and died instantly. As you know ,knowing you have a terminal disease allows you to do everything you put off. Passing away instantly gives no one the opportunity to do or say the things they meant to. I personally can tell you it has been one heck of a rollercoaster ride of emotions,fears and trying times. But we have also had some of our best years together. Sometimes you have to kick Cancer out of the room for a couple of hours. Don't let Cancer control you. Let it be a medical issue not something that describes him or your family. Cancer sucks but you know it's there so try to enjoy the little things in life and not let it control your entire world. I myself get a little better as time goes on. I work as a Interventional radiology nurse so I see a lot of cancer patients when they are first diagnosed. I use our experience as a way to help them cope with the "C" word. Lung cancer alliance is a very helpful organization as well as the online support group on Inspire.com. Best wishes md recovery to your husband. Stay strong. Lots of thoughts a prayers going up for you as you begin this journey.