Cancer is Lonely: HI, experiencing a... - LGBT Cancer Commu...

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Cancer is Lonely

Sheribebe profile image

HI, experiencing a return of breast cancer. was dxd almost a month ago. I will soon be having cancer surgery for an invasive ductal carcinoma. It's been a bit of a challange getting to a surgery date and on deciding on a surgeon and course of treatment. Also making sure other findings (lung mass) is not spread of cancer or a prmary lung mass. Good news is the recent biopsy of this 19 mass does not show cancer.they will retest in 6 months. Scared to undergo another biopsy because my lung collapsed and I had to be hospitalized with a chest tube. I live on property with my daughter and son in law right next door. But still so scared and lonely. My daughter won't respond to my speak of cancer. She justs changes the subject. With surgery so near I don't know what to do. I will have to remove her as my emergency contact. I have a younger sister who was able to drive in from Long Beach to feed my animals.

10 Replies

Hi I am very sorry to hear what you are going through. I pray that your daughter will let you open and discuss this with her - is your son-in-law open to conversations?

I was glad you were able to decide on your doctor's for the surgery and so glad you have your sister to take care of your animals.

I am on the east coast but here for you if you need to vent. I have just completed chemo for ovarian cancer.

Peace to you.


Sheribebe profile image
Sheribebe in reply to Beok17

Thank you Tray!Hope you are regaining your stremgth. I worked through the first time I had chemo in 1998. Not in 2000. I am older now. What chemo did you get?

Beok17 profile image
Beok17 in reply to Sheribebe

Hi I got taxol & carbo plattnum (I think that's the spelling). I am keeping good positive thoughts in my mind for you no matter where you are.

OMG... I am so sorry to hear that you are going through all of that crap. I get it that the people we love are affected as well...but...they all need to meet us half way at least. This is the time for emotional support. Hugs to you Sheribebe. ❤❤❤❤

Sheribebe profile image
Sheribebe in reply to Lombardi24

Thank you. Thank you for speaking up. i overheard her say as sh spoke to someone else about my cancer, that she just wasn't going to deal with "it" this time. People don't always responed in ways we would hope. I miss my late partner, my Charlotte. She had my back.

Lombardi24 profile image
Lombardi24 in reply to Sheribebe

I hear you. I wish my current partner had mine 😔

Hi, I'm Laura in Austin...I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma two months ago. I'm sure you get the horrible process we go through to just get to the doorstep of what our choices are for treatment. Lonely, so get it. By design I have developed an autonomous life, no friends because I'm not a very good friend. This breast cancer and skin cancer has rocked my world...I guess your daughter may be afraid to acknowledge or get into the 'cancer world'. My son says he is a compartmentalize guy, sooo he isn't plugged in. Our kids are and so are we. You probably have had your surgery by now...being Ms. loner gal I had to have the cancer support people take me to and from the lumpectomy. Tomorrow I meet with the radiation oncologist and Tuesday start radiation. Enough about me, just wanted you to know that I relate to you. Best to you and we have to stay strong. L

Please, stay strong..... I'm sorry that you have to go through this feeling this way. I wish you a fast recovery.

Hi to tallustin, Light14me, and others,. Thanks for all of the kind support. No I have not had my mastectomy yet. I figure in the next few weeks. Just a bit more testing, medical prep. You know the boloodwork, and clearence for surgery. Then He can book an OR. Yep he is a busy surgeon. He is a good doc I asume, since so many surgeons taught by him. He is a professor. I am getting a little antsy waiting. Well Christmas is over. I am getting over a cold virus( better now than later) My daughter is showing just a tiny amount of interest into my pendinding surgery. And she is willing to pick up my kitten from the vet after she is fixed. I added this because I think even these baby steps on her part are an important sign. I have learned my stage 2 breast cancer is "triple positive". Good in a way as I understand that there are more options for treatment. They still don't know the histology of the second breast mass and won't know till after it has been removed. Thanks again for all of the well wishes. Good luck to each and everyone of you as you make your own way through this challenging time. Good Luck. I'll keep you posted!

I was just diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Already scheduled for a double mastectomy on Monday February 13. I have Interstitial Lung Disease and in 2009 my lungs collapsed. My immune system is already compromised and when given the choice of lumpectomy and radiation therapy or double mastectomy, I chose the DM. Already had my ovaries and uterus remove 26 years ago. Cancer is estrogen Receptive. I have my church family and my brother. My parents are very conservative evangelical and can't wrap their minds around my being a lesbian. I live alone and am also deaf/blind. I'm episcopalian so my church is primarily straight, but very supportive. My service dog doesn't understand why mom has been so ill for the past 6 months. Now we know. My worry is that the cancer has effected my lungs. I'm so glad that I found this website.

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