Still searching for answers ...

[Mystery]

It is three years in feb since I came from Icu, I returned to see them and a nurse explained what happened to me day by day, I have a chronology too prepared by a thoracic surgeon, I still look on the Internet, rightly or wrongly ! to investigate my illness, the op and machinery used, is this normal, does anyone else do this ?

[patchworker]

It's nearly three years since I was in ICU, and still try to find out more about what happened.

I want to know which machines made which noises, and what they were used for, and why.

I have a copy of the letter to my GP when I finally left hospital, and I have googled the words I didn't understand, like "chyle leak" I still think about it often.

The nightmares don't bother me so much as they did, but I want to know more about the reality of what happened, but I feel guilty and foolish for still thinking about it.

[Mike-N]

I am exactly the same. In fact I got in touch with the ICU to ask them if I could see my records and am going back next month to see one of the follow up nurses to try and get some answers. Mentally I am a wreak and just need to do anything to get me back to normal. If that is possible because I do not seem the same person. Because it took me so long to come around and my confusion they checked for brain damage, but due to some of the thoughts I have, I am sure they are wrong.

[Hidden]

I'm always researching what happened to me, and asking my mum (she was with me every day). I feel safer knowing, it reduces my anxiety.