My 20 year old nephew is not showing any signs - ICUsteps

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My 20 year old nephew is not showing any signs

Nadia1989 profile image
41 Replies

My nephew who just turned 20 3 months ago was riding on his motorcycle when an irresponsible driver hit in to him and had a major accident. The air ambulance said if he did not have a helmet he most likely would have crushed his brain and been pronounced dead at the scene however He’s been in coma since he arrived to the hospital. With a broken leg, broken pelvis and brain hemorrhage. They had to do an emergency decompressive craniectomy surgery on his 6th day as the pressure of his brain was too high.

This happened a day after they’ve pinned his leg (rod will be put later on) they have not attempted to do fix the pelvis as they would need to lay him flat which he is unable to be positioned at the time being.

They’ve reduced his medication as his kidneys were starting to show some signs of failure.

He’s been in hospital with all the above 2 weeks today.

They had a meeting with us yesterday stating that his pupils are not dilating. Low sodium levels. But that they’ve taken him out of sedation 4 days ago but they’ve not seen no sign from him. As in he is not gagging with the pipes in his mouth, not moving his arm or anything.

I just feel that 4 days is nothing. They’ve put him under so much surely they should give a few extra days. However they’ve given 2 more days to see any progress otherwise they will need to have another serious meeting about whether to sign papers.

I can not seem to fathom how they would give him just under 3 weeks. When every case person is different. He’s just 20 he’s a kid I can not comprehend how they are not willing to see this over another few weeks.

This is the first case or situation my family have had to deal with this like this it’s unfair. A irresponsible driver with no licence or insurance did this whilst my nephew was on his way to work (new job he just started he a month ago) it’s completely destroyed our family. His grandparents who are in their 80s are distraught that they’re having to see their grandchild in this state.

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Nadia1989
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41 Replies
Sepsur profile image
Sepsur

Just argue for more time, there are no guarantees either way. I hope you have more promising days ahead.

Nadia1989 profile image
Nadia1989 in reply toSepsur

Thank you for your reply.

Will definitely argue for more time. But we just don’t know how long they’ll give as it’s 5th day and no sign.

Thank you for your well wishes 🤍

Sepsur profile image
Sepsur in reply toNadia1989

You can always ask for a second opinion - the team do not have to grant that wish but ask anyway. A second opinion doesn’t change the facts but might change the approach and ‘reading’ of your nephew’s state of affairs. 💙

NM03 profile image
NM03 in reply toSepsur

Hi, i would try and get more time. Also i would talk to him constantly and hold his hand, play his favourite music, get his wife or girlfriend to talk to him. I am not a doctor but if he hears, feels something familiar it might just help him. Good luckMel

EdinCat83 profile image
EdinCat83

Hi Nadia. My mum was in an induced coma following a hypoxic brain injury for 3 weeks. She’s now off been off sedation for 2 weeks. She opened her eyes 3-4 days afterwards but no purposeful movement yet. I have always asked the doctor for more time and so far it has been granted. I will keep asking as I see little signs of improvement. Mums case is very different but there is always hope that time is the best healer. X

Nadia1989 profile image
Nadia1989 in reply toEdinCat83

Thank you for your reply.

Has there been any sign or movements at all? My nephew has not given any at all and it’s now the 5th day.

We have requested more time but I’m not sure how long they will give us.

I will be thinking of your mother and hoping for her speedy recovery and good health.

EdinCat83 profile image
EdinCat83 in reply toNadia1989

She spontaneously opens her eyes and she also opens them to pain and any nursing procedure like turning or physio. She has not moved anything yet apart from some toe twitching. One of her feet reacts to a pen being run down it. Her pupils have always dilated but she is not tracking yet.

It’s a long journey and everything is so uncertain. I understand where you are. I dread the meeting with the medics. If you think he needs more time. Ask for it. They would rather have you all in agreement about any decisions. X

Nadia1989 profile image
Nadia1989 in reply toEdinCat83

Rooting for your mums good health and well being.

Many thanks for your words of encouragement 🤍

EdinCat83 profile image
EdinCat83 in reply toNadia1989

Thank you and all the best to your nephew ❤️ keep climbing x

Asma1234 profile image
Asma1234 in reply toEdinCat83

Hey I’m in the same situation how is your mum know what did the doctor say my dad has been with hyproxy brain injury

BigH63 profile image
BigH63

Ho Nadia1989

Im sorry to hear this, I’m a motorcyclist and was crashed in to many years an ago , lucky enough I only suffered lots of broken bones so I feel for him. But I’m with the others just get more time, ask for a 2nd opinion I would also ask to see P.A.L.S or hospital advocate to help you at this desperate time Times like this your not thinking in a way that’s good to enter into these meetings as it’s emotional for you, but it’s their job

nhs.uk/nhs-services/hospita...

Good luck prays are with you all

Nadia1989 profile image
Nadia1989 in reply toBigH63

I appreciate your well wishes. I hope you have also physically recovered from your injuries. Thank you for your advice I will contact (PALS)

Please remember him in your prayers 🤍

BigH63 profile image
BigH63 in reply toNadia1989

Hi again. You might want to watch this as it’s very inspirational about how much the brain can heal after really dramatic injuries. Please be warned it is emotionally, but this wife never gave up on her husband. Hope it helps.

dailymotion.com/video/x6emg54

Nadia1989 profile image
Nadia1989 in reply toBigH63

Thank you for this video I’ve just watched it and sent to to my family members. It was very emotional; just wishing that my nephew wakes up and is able to fight through like the gentleman Richard.

Thank you again 🙏

BigH63 profile image
BigH63 in reply toNadia1989

That’s ok and I hope it didn’t upset you in a bad way. What I might be inclined to do is see if you can email any of the people in the video be that doctors consultants etc and gleam some information from them. 🤷‍♂️

Good luck

Nadia1989 profile image
Nadia1989 in reply toBigH63

I completely understand. I was thinking the same thing. That if my nephew gets to that stage we could reach out to the consultants it’s good to have seen this that there is hope; so please don’t feel bad. Thank you once again.

BigH63 profile image
BigH63 in reply toNadia1989

Hi. I’m sorry to hear your nephew has not progressed as of to date but still early days I think.

Did you managed to email any of the doctors? Consultants or the lady whose husband it was ? Yet if not I would definitely recommend trying to contact them.

Good luck best wishes

🙏

Copse77 profile image
Copse77

dear Nadia first of all you made a very important point. Everyone is individual in how they respond and how much time it takes for them to respond. I really hope your nephew does recover. As for his kidneys my brother did also have this problem and they used a filter. It was extremely difficult time for our family but my brother did recover. He did not have a brain injury - he got sepsis from flu and all his organs were failing. We wrote our family story to provide hope to other families. My brother took a month to come round fully from an induced coma. He was put on an ECMO machine that rested his lungs and gave them time to recover. I will post a link here so you can read our family story. I hope that your nephew has a good outcome.

Nadia1989 profile image
Nadia1989

Thank you for your support and wishes.

I have just read one of your posts from a few years back. How is your brother now?

In regards to my nephew his condition is the same no movement or signs 6th day today. We as a family still have hope and praying for a miracle.

Copse77 profile image
Copse77 in reply toNadia1989

Hello Nadia we are 8 years on and my brother is fully well. At the time he had 2 young children the youngest was 6 at the time and it was like living a nightmare. I sincerely hope your nephew recovers and that he starts to show some responses. You rightly said everyone is different and you and your family know him best. I am glad you could see my previous posts as I learned the ECMO family support site had been taken down but I wasn’t aware. I hope for a strong recovery for your nephew.

Nadia1989 profile image
Nadia1989

Hello,

Thank you for the kind wishes & thank you for caring. It’s been very hard but we are praying for my nephew to get better. I am very happy to hear that your brother has recovered and May God Bless him with a long & healthy life ahead too.

This is the link:

ecmofamilysupport.com/ecmo-...

Thank you once again please remember him in your prayers 🙏

Ohgollyitsmolly profile image
Ohgollyitsmolly

What a stressful and worrying time for you and your family. It might be worth checking if the hospital has signed up to ‘Martha’s Rule’. Some hospitals have already ‘signed up’ for it before it’s rolled out across the whole of the NHS. It’s the right to a second opinion.

My Mum was in critical care for nearly 7 weeks last year. She was sedated for nearly 6 of those weeks, and that time was between two hospitals within the same trust. The approach was soo different between the two, and I strongly believe if she wasn’t moved she wouldn’t have improved so much. What I mean is, often a fresh set of eyes may look at things differently.

It took my mum a good 10 days to come around off the sedation, some of the drugs can linger for a little while. I think some people are also more sensitive to them as well. After a couple of days I had a consultant phone and ask what her cognitive function was like before hand as she wasn’t waking up as they’d expect. Which absolutely terrified me! My mum told me she was still having a lot of delirium at this point though, so she was probably hallucinating a little bit.

But what I mean in my long winded reply, things aren’t linear with a critical care illness/injury and it would definitely be valid to ask for another opinion before making any decisions.

Keeping your nephew & family in my prayers xx

Nadia1989 profile image
Nadia1989

Thank you hun for your well wishes. I sincerely hope your mother is doing well now.

We had another meeting yesterday and the doctors said it’s been 10 days he’s shown no signs no thumbs up or eyes opening or anything. They took hm for an MRI to finally see what the damage is.

Also mentioned that he would need a Tracheostomy procedure done as he’s still unable to breathe on his own.

We requested more time to see if he comes around within the next few days. But I definitely think we need another second set of fresh eyes to see his case.

Thank you for your support and prayers 🤍🙏

Comebackbaby profile image
Comebackbaby

I just wanted to write here and say please remain hopeful.

Not even 4 months ago my husband was in an induced coma after a severe traumatic brain injury and large bleed on the brain and his brain stem.

After they stopped sedation they gave him 3 days to ‘wake up’ and he didn’t. He eventually opened his eyes but did not move or respond to anything he just laid there and stared. They told us he had probably suffered a stroke (he too could not have an MRI straight away due to needing to be still because of brain pressure) they said he was most likely in a permanent vegetive state.

They were wrong. He slowly began to move a little, his legs would twitch a bit, then a bit more. He too did not gag or reject the tubes. Or respond to any commands.

They decided to do a tracheostomy however he was breathing ok with little help and his legs became more active so they decided to give removing the tubes a go.

24 hours after his tubes were removed he spoke.

It took him a whole month to ‘wake up’ in the end. And be moved to a normal ward where he transitioned through post traumatic amnesia.

My husband is now at home and almost the man he was before. Hes having therapy at home and is doing incredible.

Please, please stay hopeful. I was desperate looking for positive news and stories and I really hope this helps a little.

I wish you and the family all the best and luck and I hope your nephew pulls through xx

Nadia1989 profile image
Nadia1989

I can not begin to explain the positive energy this post has brought to myself and my family. Your husbands story has given us hope and we are grateful for you taking out the time and giving us something to be hopeful for. We are praying for the same miracle in my nephews case as it’s been coming up to almost 2 weeks since they’ve stopped sedating him. With no response from him as of yet; they will be doing the tracheostomy procedure this week.

Wishing you & your husband good health and happiness every day.

Thank you once again you have given us all the little hope we were looking for 🤍

TBIcaregiver profile image
TBIcaregiver

Sorry I have just seen your post and needed to reply. How is your nephew? My son was 19 and it was the same with him. We got called into meetings and I argued every time that he needed to remain on life support and he needed more time to come around. He did eventually but it was after 3 weeks of turning down sedation and 3 weeks of zero response from that point.

Nadia1989 profile image
Nadia1989

How is your son doing? May God bless him with good health.

My nephew has been out of sedation nearly 2 coming up to 2 weeks but there is no response to any commands or any movements or anything.

We know everyone is different so he may need longer to come around but it’s just getting more and more difficult seeing him in this state

Dolly78 profile image
Dolly78

I cannot imagine what you are all going through and I will pray for him . I can only speak of my own experience but it may give you hope. I fell into a coma due to kidney failure, double pneumonia, secondary paracetamol overdose ( hospital induced) and Ards. I was in a coma for 5 weeks. During that time my family were called up twice to say there goodbyes as my recovery was not expected. I was proned twice and had an emergency tracheoctomy.

I agree that your nephew should be given longer to see what happens. We are all very different and sometimes, by the will of God, can change the predicted outcome. I am proof of that.

Do not give up fighting for what you believe.

I will continue to pray for u all and if you can send me his name I will put it up on the prayer lists at my church and recovery groups.

God bless you all

Angelfran123 profile image
Angelfran123

praying for you and your family ♥️

Ellipirellis profile image
Ellipirellis

Dont give up ❤️ I am rooting for you and your nephew🙏🏼

Copse77 profile image
Copse77

I am wishing a strong recovery fir your nephew.

Ohgollyitsmolly profile image
Ohgollyitsmolly

Hey Nadia, any update on your nephew? X

Nadia1989 profile image
Nadia1989 in reply toOhgollyitsmolly

Hi thank you for messaging asking about my nephew.

The update has not been great:

We got a second opinion from a neurosurgeon in America as well as a neurologist who specializes in critical care who carefully reviewed my nephews charts. As per our previous knowledge due to the extensive damage to the left side (which is his dominant side) which teaches you how to talk how to understand. It’s basically the language center of the body. And it controls the right side of the body; Unfortunately the injuries to his entire body are extensive but most importantly his brain. He had a massive bleed and smaller microbleeds in his head caused by the traction injury. His MRI shows sign of anoxic injury. Usually you see that in people whose brains did not receive oxygen to sustain its function and it also shows up in people who don’t have much brain function; and he has very minimal brain function (he does appear to move coughing slightly opening his eyelids then closing but he’s not doing it purposefully), which we have been told does not lead to meaningful recovery. His source of nutrition/breathing will be through tubes and dependent on a full time caretaker at a nursing home. He’s breathing because his medulla which is the lower part of his brainstem is not damaged; But if they were to remove the tube, he’s not going to be awake to protect his own breaths. He has had a tracheostomy done today, which is a longer way to just sustain his airway. However we do not know how the next few months to a year or years after will be; today marks 5 weeks since his accident. We have been told he is unable to come home no matter how much the family are able to care for him as he will need to be in a nursing home under supervision. This is not the life he deserves. We have waited for a miracle but his brain stem has been damaged (not fully otherwise he would have brain dead) it’s been difficult to agree to let him lead a life like this helpless but the family are unable to say goodbye.

Bexsieh profile image
Bexsieh in reply toNadia1989

So sorry to hear this. Thinking of you and your family x

Nadia1989 profile image
Nadia1989 in reply toBexsieh

Thank you 🤍

EdinCat83 profile image
EdinCat83 in reply toNadia1989

Just saw this Nadia. Sorry to hear. Such a tough time :(

Nadia1989 profile image
Nadia1989 in reply toEdinCat83

We see him everyday & now can only just wait to see if and when he wakes up. Please still remember him in your prayers.

EdinCat83 profile image
EdinCat83 in reply toNadia1989

I will do. The brain is a mysterious thing. Even to the doctors. We can only hold on to hope. X

mijmij profile image
mijmij in reply toNadia1989

Nadia I have kept quiet whilst following your posts and can only offer that please despite the second opinion and prognosis do not as a whole family give up hope in any way of improvement slight or significant in your beloved nephew. He is still young, it is still early days relatively since his heartbreaking accident, the brain is incredible and can rewire itself with time to a more stable state of being, and do take into consideration that doctors/specialists tend to err more on cautious negative side. Please ensure he has the best possible physiotherapists working hard with him, give your nephew a mirror to see himself. Continue to talk, read, and try to make him aware of his own body with movement of his limbs, touching his face, arms, feet, have him hold things in his hands, use anything you can buy that moves even if for babies that involves eye tracking, wear bright colours, play music, tell him the date and time and his name repeatedly, have him hold a thicker sized pen like a whiteboard marker with whiteboard and move his hands to write on it, use favourite and recognisable fragrances to stir him, talk to him that little bit louder, command him instead of asking. Physiotherapy the best available is vital, he must be stimulated constantly/repeatedly, look into online for specialists/groundbreaking research and therapy’s, he may be in there unable to communicate trapped but watching or hearing surfacing at times only to slip back under again. Read newspapers to him to make him in anyway possible of world events and the passing of time, a clock in front of him in line of vision and not a digital but analog clock that has moving hands and if possible shows the date/year for any given moments he may surface, massage, repeat commands, tv, a third opinion if possible, ask if he is lying face can he be sat up/even eventually stood up supported with a harness. Please visit brain injury groups her on health unlocked there are incredible accounts of peoples recovery with hard work where no recovery by medical professionals was expected/claimed. The brain is incredibly powerful, look into alternatives therapies, do not allow them to write him off and resign him to a life of lying/sitting in a nursing home. Cling onto any slight movements or facial expressions made by him or ever noise by him. I understand the given second prognosis given for him, but believe in your own as a whole family for him, fight for him, time is still extremely important for him. I understand also my comment may seem to positive/hopeful, but he is relatively young still and it is still early days since the accident. Brain stimulation no matter what it is, is imperative. Black and white stimulation toys/boards/puzzles used for babies. Anything and everything that is available, go over the alphabet out loud, write it with his hand on a whiteboard, remind him of his name and age, tell him he has been in an accident and how many days since it that it has been. He, you all as a family are in my thoughts and may he be blessed with good fortune when he is ready at his own pace. I don’t pray, but do believe in the power and strength of positivity and not being given up on. They say hearing is the last to go, so please keep talking slightly louder to him. x x

Nadia1989 profile image
Nadia1989 in reply tomijmij

I just want to begin by thanking you with such a positive outlook and encouraging us to keep on believing in my nephew.

Having such a great response has really been very helpful.

I believe in everything you have stated and we are trying our hardest to not give up.

Thank you once again. I will update with any updates in due course.

🤍

Copse77 profile image
Copse77

dear Nadia how is your nephew. Thinking of you all. Wishing for better news for you all.

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