Anniversary

on May 7 2014 I was admitted with sepsis etc. Hospitalized 30 days. Not expected to live. I did. My anniversary is approaching with me feeling joy but Indicators of survivors guilt are reappearing,

[Copse77]

thank you for sharing your anniversary. I relate to that. 6 years ago in January 2018 my brother was critically ill with sepsis in ICU. We are very thankful he made a recovery and I try to help other families here by providing information. Everyday was like living a nightmare. I relied upon this website for helpful information that we could trust. I found the Reading ICU website useful as it explains trauma and its impacts. I will find it & post the link.

[Copse77 in reply to Copse77]

readingicusupport.co.uk/pdf...

[FamilyHistorian]

I’ve heard a number of people talk about survivor’s guilt, I’m lucky as I didn’t have it. But where do you draw the line who has a greater reason for surviving? Is it just that because of everything I was able to get through what I did. My family were told that I wouldn’t make it twice but I did. I just try to give back as much as I can that’s a thank you not guilt. Having survived you need to take advantage of it.

[Lux95]

I thought about survivor's guilt a bit today. This month is my 2 year anniversary. Today is the anniversary of my trach surgery, and the start of coming off sedation. I never really felt guilt because I know it could have easily gone the other way for me. I have immense gratitude of course for the physicians, nurses and my family, and hope to go back to visit on my release day anniversary in February.

I heard an alarm at a restaurant tonight that brought back unsettling memories of something I heard frequently in my nightmares. I could feel the same panic rising as I did at the time. I also read through the post my wife made of my status on that day. All a bit tough to process, but it helped renew my sense of gratitude; of not taking family for granted; and not taking the kindness and sacrifice of others for granted.

I think I've generally come away with a more keen appreciation of the value of others lives, and glad when they haven't had to experience a trauma or loss, and even more empathetic when they have. Not that I didn't value others before, but it is easy to take a stranger's life for granted as an equally precious gift from God as we fall into the inwardly focused routines of our own lives.

I think it is natural to feel guilty for the same reason. It may be just a difference in how we individually handle the reality of death, and how close we came. As small as it may seem, just being here to converse on this site makes a significant difference in the lives of others dealing with past ICU stays, and the families of those going through one now. One of the reasons I thought about guilt vs appreciation today, is because I had read your post a few days ago. It all helps all of us. Be encouraged today, and know that our survival is important to family and friends around us.

[Sepsur]

Correct me if I’m wrong but ‘Hidden’ means that the person has left the forum and won’t be able to read your replies