ICU Covid survivor just over 1 year on.

[qmcsurvivor]

Well it has been a rough month as I look back over the past year it is still hard to believe I lost a few weeks of my life whilst ventilated but the delirium memories remain.

My legs are still like jelly, breathless at times, so tired and climbing stairs difficult, I think on 14th December 2020 I first felt unwell and my body has not returned to the pre Covid state. I work in the NHS and went back to work phased return and reduced hors in mid June, it was difficult and alas I feel I have deteriorated further as off since 27th December 2021 again.

Awaiting long covid clinic still but I was admitted in the peak of that wave so it is understandable as there were so many of us at that time. had counselling and now referred to a psychologist as it is difficult to come to terms with impact on daily living and dream like memories.

I find it difficult when the death rates are read on the news each day as though football score not human life. I blame the government for not initially closing the borders as New Zealand and Australia did and feel forgotten,

I am writing this today as yesterday evening my emotions became overwhelmed when I read about high pressure oxygen not working and someone being told they may not wake up from being ventilated, I presume all this happened to me and perhaps this is why some of our memories are blocked. The article was written by an ICU consultant and I just burst into tears, I feel better this morning and feel the crying helped to perhaps make me realise it happened and life goes on.

Stay as well as you can we are survivors and no one can understand what it is like going through ICU especially when we had no visitors. A year plus ago I had to learn to walk again and I am here.

[FamilyHistorian]

2 years ago today I was still in a coma. I survived a heart op, pneumonia, sepsis etc because of the care I was given in ICU. I'm just glad I don't have to go back to work as I woudn't have been able to. Life goes on but has changed.

I came out into lockdown and in may ways over the last 18 months or so I have become institutionalised and it is only now that I am starting to "risk" going out.

[qmcsurvivor in reply to FamilyHistorian]

Thank you for this I probably would be better if I think the same way that my life has changed and physically I can't do my job anymore, I am 61 and as you say life does indeed go on, We are like a club of survivors through no fault of our own and realise how fragile life really is. The past 2 years has changed every ones life at least Spring is on its way.

[Retro58]

Hi sorry you've been struggling, each day is different and we fight on.I like you have just reached a year since my nightmare began. I also feel very much as you do about continuing deaths. My legs feel like yours some days, I think it's when I have been doing too much. I am learning about the new me every day, I'm not on oxygen now and that's a blessing but much harder to do things I want. Life is different, life changing, but we survived where others didn't.

I do hope you get your appointment soon. I waited ages for mine and now I'm waiting for my scan appointment. Wishing you well,take care.💗

[qmcsurvivor in reply to Retro58]

Thanks for replying indeed each day is different and none of us know the future sometimes the psychological issues are worse than the physical. As I work in the NHS I am frustrated by the lack of help from the trust I work for although off sick again! Best wishes,

[Copse77]

You are an inspiration. To have come back from critical illness and as an NHS worker supporting others before your illness. It is no wonder you were overwhelmed and memories come rushing back. Our family went through this pre Covid times. It is 4 years and a couple of days since my brother woke from an induced coma after becoming critically Ill with sepsis from flu. He deteriorated further and ECMO was his only chance of survival. We are very lucky that he did survive and that ECMO was available. My brother had to relearn everything and his youngest child was 6 at the time. His wife is an NHS nurse. With time things will improve, time is a healer and memories will lessen.I have posted links on here before to Berkshire patients and families support infornation but I know that ICU steps Chester charity do a weekly zoom call you might find helpful. . I agree this cold hearted government have discussed statistics without care for the impact on those who lost their lives and their families. Best wishes for your continued recovery.

[qmcsurvivor in reply to Copse77]

Thank you we are all inspirations, it is hard trying to relearn tasks we have done all our lives and I have come a long way but sadly at present mobility is not so good it is as though my legs don't feel attached to my torso so very odd. I really hope all of your family especially your brother's lives improve. I often wish I could give a massive present to the ICU staff who looked after me, I took in a card and cakes but they are heroes clapped for during lockdown but now forgotten by many. Best wishes.

[Copse77 in reply to qmcsurvivor]

The NHS staff are not forgotten by us on here and many other ordinary people appreciate all they have done for us. 😀

[Copse77]

readingicusupport.co.uk/for...

[FamilyHistorian]

ICUStepsChester is now called Critical Care Support Network to reflect that the membership comes from the 4 Nations not just the Chester area. In fact we have contributors from around the world. There is a drop in tonight at 730 and one specificaly for relatves on a Tuesday (both evry week)

[qmcsurvivor in reply to FamilyHistorian]

Thank you I have looked at this, I live in Nottingham and support groups are few and far between.

[Hidden]

Hi. I had a similar covid experience. I had already been in ICU with sepsis, and was recovering in a ward when I contracted covid. I was returned to ICU and was on a ventilator and then a trachy. I had to go to a community hospital to learn to walk and stand. I was 7 months in care before going home end of Nov 20. I had delerium but that went once I knew where I was. Thanks to the Drs and nurses for their great efforts in keeping me going when it is clear many in the same position did not make it.I have not returned to work as still suffer fatigue amongst other things, and I have recently started to be seen by long covid clinic, but early days yet.

Takecare.

[qmcsurvivor in reply to Hidden]

Hi you have been through a rough experience I was ventilated but no tracheostomy, Like yourself fatigue a issue can sleep 14 hours a day and still feel tired, also mobility affected I hope the Covid Clinic goes well. Best wishes,

[CovidEcmofamily]

I’m so sorry you had to experience this.

[qmcsurvivor]

Thank you there are so many of us saved from the abyss it has been so helpful reading peoples experiences in here. Best wishes.