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[joanne68]

Its been exactly a year I was in icu with covid pneumonia in a coma and ventilated. I still think about the dreams and things I saw . What was real and what wasn't. . I had a covid clinic back in August but nothing since. I know how over whelmed the NHS is but I still feel I need help. Though I'm better than I was a year ago im no where near i was before i had the virus i still suffer side effects even a year after. Positive side is I've had my vaccination today . So can now look forward to the future. I can never thank the Drs and nurses enough but I hope one day i can thank them personaly.

[FamilyHistorian]

Joanne

I have been writing about “a year on” over the last few weeks. So this week I had stepped down to a cardiology ward and caught yet another infection after having been in that hospital since before Xmas. I have had support from ICUStepsChester both physical and mental. I was my GP’s second ICU patient and she didn’t have access to resources to support me and actual suggested ICUSteps. My icu was unable to offer support because of covid.

I have been on a course of CBT (10 sessions) in which identified strategies to deal with loss of memory, hallucinations etc and generally they work.

I still remember the hallucinations in detail but I’m not troubled by them.

There are options just finding them is the problem.

[LeeB73]

I’m close on 10 months home and there isn’t a day goes by that I don’t find myself thinking of those awful, terrifying and bizarre dreams.

But they were just that - dreams. I keep telling myself that and whilst I can relate some of them to conversations that I must have overheard in ICU in my sleep, the others I’ve put down to the drugs they gave me!

I found writing about my experience helped a little. Honestly though, I don’t ever expect to get over it, it’s a part of mine and my family’s life but I’m not going to let it define me. Strange as it sounds I think some positives have come out of it.

Good luck with you recovery Joanne.

[stevet11753]

It really is difficult to get a follow-up during these covid times. I was fortunately able to visit the ITU a few months after my discharge (five years ago) and meet some of the nurses who'd been looking after me. I also had a formal mental health assessment after twelve months. I made out that I was well, which I thought I was - but I know now that I wasn't. I hope things settle down soon for you to arrange a visit to ICU; it was really helpful for me.

[joanne68 in reply to stevet11753]

Thank you Steve I think that would be fantastic when I'm able to see them. I owe them so much..

[qmcsurvivor]

I still remember the thoughts/dreams/hallucinations and all based in hospital setting so it was hard to know what was real and what was not. Looking back I have learnt to know which could not have happened but alas still in my memory and very real, I came out of ICU on 3rd January and it took time for these delusions to go away as still had them in early days on a ward.I work in the NHS as a front line worker and I have small goals to do each day even things I would normally do, I feel there does need to be support for ICU survivors from this though I have little memory of my time there apart from the delirium. Recovery seems barred by setbacks and I still cannot believe I ended up in hospital on approximately day 9 after mild Covid symptoms. Take care,

[joanne68 in reply to qmcsurvivor]

Its so bizarre. Back to 27th Jan 2020 I just had a cold so I thought. But went down hill pretty quickly on the 15th of Feb 2020 my partner called an ambulance I still felt a fraud thinking I still had a cold ect. On the 16th I was put into an induced coma and ventilated. For 17 days then hsd a trachiostomy. Its a year on i still struggle with mobility i hsve not worked for just over properly. Im back to shielding yet again. Like you my dreams were so real and I just wish I could find out what was real. There was an elderly gentleman in next bed. He died. My partner tells me he didn't die. So so much I saw. Ill never forget my time in icu

[Hidden in reply to joanne68]

Hi just wondering with Covid pnemonia did you pick up and other infections along the way?