Partner fighting in ICU

[Heartbr0ken]

My partner has been in ICU for just over 24 hours. He has liver disease (recently diagnosed cirrhosis), diabetes (recently diagnosed) and pneumonia. He has been put on a ventilator as he was struggling to breathe on 100% oxygen. He has now been put on dialysis to help his kidneys and I’m going out of my mind with worry. I have spoken to two consultants who both said that my partner is very unwell and the outlook is not good. My partner was walking around, eating and his normal self last week and I cannot believe he has deteriorated so quickly. I’m trying to be positive and I’m continually praying for him. He is my soulmate and my best friend and I cannot imagine my life without him 😢

[midNight57]

I'm sure your mind is just spinning and you're feeling so hopeless. I'm also assuming that with covid you're unable to be there with him, which makes the situation so much harder. I was intubated in May and I was the same as your husband- everything was pretty much normal beforehand and I got really sick overnight and my oxygen levels dropped so I was put on ventilator for almost two weeks. My husband was in the same state of mind as you and I can't imagine having to feel that sense of helplessness for my partner and just waiting to hear any kind of news. I am thinking of you and sending you love. I'm hoping that you have a support system to be there for you. Don't be afraid to ask for help and for people to be there for you during this extremely hard time. I'm hoping for the very best for your husband. Know that he is fighting.

[Wheeloffate]

Hi,

I'm in your shoes with my dad. My mom sees him as his soul mate. The first few days in the ICU we were living hell, surviving hour to hour.

There is nothing I can say to ease your pain. Please keep praying and talking to your friends and surround yourself with loved ones.

My dad has cirrhosis, had pneumonia needed 100% O2 on the ventilator, sepsis head to toe and a type 2 diabetes developed. He is still fighting.

Don't worry about dialysis right now. Kidneys are the last to come back.

[FamilyHistorian]

Hi my thoughts are with you

Just to say it takes time my family were called in several times as I wasn’t expected to survive the night. I was sedated / ventilated for 6/8 weeks and came out of hospital mid March.

Your partner has a lot to go through yet, although we are all different, BUT you must look after yourself as well. It’s alright for us patients as we don’t know a lot of went on. ICUstepschester run a zoom support group for relatives it’s a drop in and when you feel ready I am sure you would be welcome.

[BabyRhino]

I am so sorry that you're going through this. From my own experience I would say make use of anyone & everyone that you can for support just to get you through each day. You are such an important part of what's going on right now.

[0608]

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. My husband is also in ICU and it’s been 2 months. Everything just happened so quickly it was a big shock for me too.. I know exactly how you feel when you say you can’t imagine life without him 😞 It’s the worst feeling ever... Just don’t stop praying and believing in God. Miracles do happen don’t forget. I will pray for you and your husband xx

[Sepsur]

Hi @HeartbrOken and welcome

I hope that you get more encouraging news about your partner soon. Many of us here have been offered very little chance of survival and yet we are still here.

Critical care is an awful emotional rollercoaster. At the time I was in ICU, my family were allowed to visit. There were small consultation rooms outside of the unit that my wife started to dread.

She would arrive at the unit, full of hope ( I’d survived the night again) and feeling positive. The consultant would usher her into the little room and with his/her first utterance, suck all of the optimism out of the room.

For many, critical care is a long drawn out affair. People will suggest that you look after yourself, sleep & eat well. Your partner is being looked after by the best medical team going. He will need your strength & energy when he finally wakes up.

[LoriB5]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I was on the opposite side where I was the one in the coma. So hopefully I can help with a little hope...

I was in a 54 day induced coma. Full on sepsis, complete kidney failure, collapsed lung, trachestomy, temps over 105, Pulminary embolisms, gran mal seizures, swelling of the brain and I could continue. On and on.... Two family meetings with Dr’s, family and clergy. Two times my daughter said “no, I’m not ready to pull the plug” against the wishes of everyone else.

Fast forward 6 months and I was back to work full time and went downhill skiing for a week! I have since joined a rowing team and row 3 times a week on anything from a single up to an 8. I paddle board frequently and play tennis.

Miracles can happen. I had one. Praying for you.