Need advice...

[Mom3mmc]

I'll try to keep this short..... Last Friday I had to pick my daughter up from school, she had a fever. By late Sunday night she was feeling much better only complaining of a sore throat, by Wednesday my youngest son had fever and I felt awful. Meanwhile my mom has the flu and cancelled Easter so my sister in law is having Easter at her house, I called my sister in law on Thursday to let her know we weren't feeling well and would not be coming for Easter with the APS I get very nervous about going into a flare and feeling awful for months, I know maybe I am over reacting but at this point the flu is rampant in my area and the kids go back to school on Monday I don't want them getting run down and missing school nor do I want to get myself rundown. Today is Saturday and my youngest is still coughing and sneezing and I am feeling slightly better, but very run down, my family is upset that we aren't coming for Easter and making me feel badly... I don't know what to do.. They want me to send my older two kids with my dad so they can see everyone, but it is my youngest sons birthday and we don't want to spend it apart... What should I do? Sorry this is long and very poorly written. I'm just really exhausted and would love some advice on this. Thanks, Jen

[MaryF Administrator]

You need to do what feels best for you, weigh it between all going and perhaps you having a rest yourself by having an event put on, that you can just go to, balance this up against the stress of resisting going. However if they and you are really not well, it is nobody's fault and certainly not yours. Also ask the children what they want, as maybe they have a family vote. This happens with us at times, and usually a good resolution all the way round.... and you all might be better after a good night's sleep and also benefit from a change of scene. MaryF x

[Manofmendip]

Hi Jen

Sorry to hear your problems.

We are not medical professionals on here so we are unable to provide you with medical advice, sorry.

Dave

[Lure2]

How difficult. I have been in that position a couple of times. That was before I had APS. Children no 1 almost ok and children no 2 feeling a bit ill. I also thought of the possibility that we could take our illnesses to all the cousins etc etc....My eldest daughter has her birthday the day before Christmas..

You can do a birthday-special at home and I think the children understand that you are a family and want to stick together on his birthday .The most important thing: "it is not your fault". As I understand you mother had the flu and usually had the Easter at her place. It is a change for all people in your family.

Hope you do not have any bad feelings and that you will find a good solution. I understand you so well.

Best wishes from Kerstin in Stockholm

[GinaD]

"Life is what happens when you've made other plans." Do what works for you and yours (Mary's vote idea is a good one,) then, ( I am no therapist) shed the guilt thusly: Ask the upset family members, "With children on the verge of the flu and the important end of the school year coming, what do YOU think is the responsible thing to do?"

See what they say. Its an art I have yet to master, (especially spontaneously) but I do admire the tactic of reflecting negativity and judgementalism back into the minds of those emitting them.

Happy Easter!