This is a copy and paste from a from a reply message I wrote. I thought it best to make a separate post here. I hope you find some value in it.
I have now become extremely passionate about boosting the morale of my fellow HIV'ers. We don't need to feel the way we do. Now that I know about the amazing progress of treatments. I really do feel empowered.
'Sorry to hear this. It is a shock and being HIV positive myself for the past 7 years, I can tell you that it gets better. But, I am not here to shower you with a pity party. I am here to give you some practical advice.
1- Go on meds as soon as possible.
2- Look up information on Treatment as Prevention
3- Look up the PARTNER study where one partner is negative
4- Look up the HPTN 052 study (studied the efficacy of meds in transmission prevention)
5- Speak to your doctor about these studies for further assurance
HIV is not the problem it once was. Things have progressed dramatically from when it first came on the scene in 1981. Now with treatment YOU ARE NOT INFECTIOUS. Treatment is now considered as on of the ways of preventing the spread of HIV. The suppression of the virus via ART means that it is unable to replicate therefore spread. Please do your research as this is now standard mainstream information available on the CDC website and the WHO website.
The only that that will make you feel bad now, is not the fact that it is a 'death sentence' because it is not. Nor are you infectious if on ART with an undetectable viral load. The problem now is mental, because if you think about it, the issue of HIV on affects you when it comes to sex. So, it can't be allowed to ruin your life. I don't feel you should punish yourself because of others ignorance. People really can have prejudices about so many things. This your opportunity to find your strength, learn about your illness in terms of it being non-infectious while on ART. If you are in the dark about what it is NOW, not 5 years ago, not 30 years ago but NOW. That will help you. You are probably thinking about other people, and how they will react. I did too for a very long time. But, now that medicines have improved and you have empirical data which states that, again, you are NON-INFECTIOUS WHILE ON MEDS.
The studies mentioned about were done on a worldwide basis. As I have already stated TREATMENT IS ONE OF THE NEW STANDARDS FOR PREVENTION. As well as the other person taking responsibility for themselves and using PrEP. Everyone even if married should use protection but they don't, it is easy for people to judge than to put themselves in others shoes.
Efficacy of condoms:
'Condoms used 100% of the time, though not necessarily 100% perfectly (i.e. with usual rates of breakage and slippage) provide protection of 80 to 85% against HIV (uncertainty range: 76 to 93%). In other words, for every 100 cases of HIV infection that would happen without condom use, about 15 (range: 7 to 24) would happen when condoms are used consistently.'
In a monogamous relationship, the efficacy of treatment (ART), now is closer to zero!!!
We all should use condoms regardless. You can never be sure if your partner is monogamous either, you can only be sure of yourself. Even by using condoms you are trusting that it 'should' work but there is still a 10 - 15% chance of contracting HIV.
The whole point of my message is to say.
YOU HAVE NO NEED TO TORTURE YOURSELF FOR AN ILLNESS WHICH DOES NOT STOP YOU FROM WALKING, TALKING, THINKING, SEEING, ETC.
AGAIN, ON MEDS WHEN UNDETECTABLE YOU ARE NOT INFECTIOUS.
SO, THE SOURCE OF YOUR PROBLEM IS THE OUTSIDE WORLD WHO IS NOT UPDATED WITH THE NEW FACTS.
IT'S UP TO US NOW TO EDUCATE THEM.
HIV is anyone's game it does not distinguish.
Don't allow your ego mind fool you into thinking there is something wrong with you when it does not need to be so.
If you want, I am willing to be that buy of positivity in your ear. Feel free to message me.
The stigma can make you feel unworthy and down right crappy but you don't have to put up with it. People's attitudes are akin to bullying. Don't allow their uneducated worths flush you of your worth.'