I think they should abolish the disclosure law , especially with new medications and the limited risks of infecting someone if you are Undetectable . The Stigma around living with this is terrible and the reality that Ive found is that majority of people like myself keep stum, its been a journey of learning and understanding the consequences of having hiv and disclosing it to others before a meet, this often leads to rejection and gossiping. The hypocrites what judge you are more likely to pass Hiv to someone else than me as they are all like minded guys and into awsome skin on skin fun how it always should of been before this shitty virus come along.

Ive never felt so free to explore my sexuality but the prejudice and stigma does get to me and Ive found its much easier to lie and deny it because thats how you have to survive and I know many others who do the same to survive because they have to despite the law and the reality.. These HiV charities need to focus there efforts on educating people about status and meds and being undetechable and limited risk and give something back to the people living with it , not just preventing people from getting it which ironically can build a stigma initself. I admire people who stand up and be counted and wear hiv on there sleeve ie but I dont want live like that because the stigma is too bad and like I said its easier living as if your negative to save the negativity and rejection..

18 Months on and I,m still learning and getting used to it and I just hope it doesnt stop me finding a soulmate one day.

Merry Christmas Everyone

12 Replies

  • H i there how are u doing well i feel the same u do i would like to meet u and see where things go from there am 53 latin guy from texas want to get to know someone honest and faith ful

  • Never a truer word spoken , I feel exactly the same way , it's not the virus it's the stigma that the worst bit about the illness , Happy Christms too you mate from Belfast x

  • Cheers mate, You have a good xmas too x

  • You too John & many more to come x

  • I fully agree with all your comments !!!

    You will find a sole mate trust me I know!!!!

    Merry Xmas .t friend

  • Thanks, its been a confusing journey for me, really has, ,maybe I think to much I,m not sure

  • Merry Xmas to you :)

  • hi there hope to here from u and Merry Christmas to u well i like to get 2 know u

  • 33 ish years since HIV came on the scene... The developments in healthcare,treatment and law has changed considerably. Your comments are true but all these things take a while to catch up with modern times!

    The stigma and ignorance continues to affect culture, community and individuals and causes so much damage.

    Humans can be cruel but most are understanding - that's why you've found this site!

    I'm a challenging sort of chap but still hide my status after 12 years and feel sad because of this.

    Life is tough, but humans are tougher xx

  • Thank you very much, I,ll get there,, it just weired some days I,m totally fine then others I just feel funny, I dont like it

  • I have been positive since 2013 and I've talked so Dr.'s and therapist about this same issue as disclosing. I disclosed to family, friends, etc...and I was cast out from them. I even attempted suicide more than once. I have since moved to another state and I've made new friends and has even dated like normal people and I honestly have to say I am in a way better place now than a few months ago. I know it may be wrong but I don't think that I will ever disclose my status to anyone ever again, because when I did what was "right," it sent me to a very dark place and I was lucky that I didn't die. I do apologize if I offend anyone, I'm just being completely honest.

  • I totally get you and you aint offending me,, Dont apologise either you have to take care of yourself.. I totally understand... I have thought of taking my life but then I thought fuck this I,m not waisting my life because of some divvy biggott.. I have been silly tho.. I have to control my temper because I have assaulted 5 guys now for abusing me on line and gossiping about my hiv.. I was going through a stage where I wasnt allowing no body to call me riddled or anything and no matter what I had to get them back. but all it did was feel good whilst I did it and then feel shitty inside and depressed thinking this cant go on.. I was doing brilliantly until a few weeks ago a guy called me riddled and I ended up bumping into him in a park where I confronted him he was with a lesbian i had know all my life and I didnt know she knew him, he got clever took his jacket off for a fight and I just wacked fucked out of him with my dog lead like a lunatic, I was ashamed of myself for making his face bleed and allowing him to get to me to the point of violence... I,m not a bully I just get more angry than usual sometimes , i think thats built up because of the prejudice and stigma and I suppose paranoia.. I wish I hadnt disclosed and none of them would be able to gossip then,, my advice to anyone who comes out Poz is to keep it to themselves they have a better life and less rejection... Its great if you live in London and around the same but I live in a back market town in the north east and its not practical at all.. lots know already but I tend to deny it more nowadays. I,m not fully comfortable with it but its something that I have learnt to do because a majority in the same position as me do the same no matter how much we try to be PC and Legal, the reality is most keep there mouths shut because of the failure of the HIV Charities to educate people and totally focus on prevention that in itself has created prejudice to the very people it set out to help... They are dragging there feet 100 percent, spending to much money on staff and internal shit no doubt as most charities do, keeping people in jobs but not actually tackling the issues.. I,m extremely disappoined in all these Charities because they have done jack shit for me.. I put money in tubs for 20 years Id love to know where all that money went.

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