.is this a way to live like a zombie?

.is this a way to live like a zombie?.lost my creative side, multi tasking and happy emotions,,memories and current events have very dull emotions.find it hard work to be giving,as takes much thought and energy,before was easy....does this make sense to anyone? or am i on the wrong page?

[bikerlifestyle]

you are definitely in the right place

is this any way to live? well that's the question we all ask and have to find our own answers

we have to find our own purpose or goals to keep going.

there is a lot of good help and advice here, the biggest obstacles to getting better is us, our worries, fears and energy, all the advice in he world is useless unless we act on it.

[Hidden in reply to bikerlifestyle]

totally agree with the energy bit,thank you

[TC1979]

True words. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink, if it intimates that it is thirsty then it will drink, so if something is missing something and its put in front of them then all the good will, training and intension ( drs, nurses, shrinks, therapists etc) in the world isn't going to make the person make use of what is in front of them.

Doctors, nurses and therapist go through specialist training to make them able and equipped to help us so in reality it's us that's the key and them that's the facilitator.

[Hidden in reply to TC1979]

7 months down the line,have not yet had any therapy, still undergoing tests.but thank you,when they lead me to water i will drink it

[at-spes-non-fracta]

razi, nope, you're definitely not on the wrong page, and I imagine that most of us here feel or have felt much the same. The "key" psychology term is "acceptance" and don,t get me wrong but after eighteen and a half years this still scares the **** out of me! Accept what, hey? Well, in the most positive way that I can, I have to accept the facts that I damaged my brain. My brain STILL works, and because of lots of research and understanding, it probably works better than it did before my tbi. There are a huge number of negative thought's and thought processes that are innate to brain injury and learning to live with those is by no means easy. After all, a tbi can't be reversed BUT we can all still learn to lead a full and active life. No, I wont pretend that it is going to be easy, but I can promise you that it is possible. Sorry I cant offer you the key or golden rule and the psychology book of small steps and taking your time really is as good as it can be. Sorry if that sounds incredibly negative but I have so wanted to throttle every psychologist that has told me that, and after eighteen years it is possible that I could have been on Britains most wanted list.

Back to your original comments on multitasking etc. Well multitasking in the true sense of the phrase I still find very difficult. I need to take my time and accomplish each task properly before I start on the next. Now, my creative side has improved greatly. The year after my tbi I learnt to play guitar and since have also added the ukulele, unfortunately it most definitely hasn't helped my singing.

Wishing you all the best, Ryan

[Hidden in reply to at-spes-non-fracta]

thank you so much,i comprehend with what you have written,it is a comfort to know your creative side has improved..best wishes to you too ryan

[ncmurphy1951]

razi you are certainly not alone nor on the wrong page recovering from a brain injury is exremley hard depressing exhausting frustrating and tim consuming one ccannot pick up where one once was noe could do and be bein totally dependen on others is depressing frustratin and you are quite right it does make one feel useless and zombie like but we urvived and whatever track we are now on me must press on such that life is neil

[Hidden in reply to ncmurphy1951]

you are right we cannot pick up but we must press on..thank you neil

[ladycassy]

I have thought the same but been afraid to say it, so you are braver than me. I am just a year after a intra cerebril bleed and although I am back in work I still find it hard.(I am self employed) I was the queen of multi tasking and ultra efficent. Now I have to depend on others and try to look in control when I some feel like hiding under the covers.

As other comments said, we have to makke the best of what we have, we can't turn the clock back to what we were like before so there is little option but to get on with it! There are people out there to help, some times you have to push a little harder to he heard and make sure you are having the right treatment. Being dumped after leaving hospital seems to be a common theme. Thanks for places like headway who are there to tell us it will be ok.

You will not always feel like this. It can change day to day, week to week, the month to month keep going forward. Good luck.

[Hidden in reply to ladycassy]

i totally comprehend with looking as if i am in control,and actually due to being exhausted spend much time under the covers.

thank you ladycassy

[pleyland]

Hi Razi, I had the same thing. I lost a big chunk of my creative side. I'm a film maker and photographer so this was pretty scary stuff. About a month ago it came back with a turbo charger. I was up half the night painting drawing and thinking of all the things I wanted to do. So much so that I have now decided to try and work a 4 day week and spend one day doing exactly what I want creatively.

Be patient. I am sure it will return. Another thing that is worth mentioning I came off statins and that has cleared my mind even further. Worth talking to your doctor if your on them.

I wish you all the best.

Paul

[Hidden in reply to pleyland]

thank you paul

[ricozoe]

hi razi you r def on right site ,im recovering frm 9 mnths ago its realy hard,sometimes i gt a good day or mybe 2,then the next 5 days im ill exshausted,everyone says dont do too much,take it easy , rest ,im finally starting to see that its good advice ,my thoughts r normally ooh dnt feel so bad today ill do loads of things as i might not be able to tommorow,but if i did rest and only do half of them i wouldnt be as bad the next day ,the people on here r great and have helped me with there advice and comments.and b4 i frgt welcome.

[Hidden in reply to ricozoe]

thank you ricozoe

[pollyanne]

Hi Razi

Think of it as you have just fought a battle! you're tired ,scarred,fed up, mentally fatigued but you're still here! It's a second chance , maybe a lot of others were lost at battle

but you're a survivor. Sometimes when you look at things through new eyes it can re inspire you, for example look at how a baby wakes and looks round the room following the light, Look at the simple things of life,birds(feathered variety),plants, animals or sit somewhere nice and peoplewatch. I know this sounds a bit 'arty farty' but give it a go it may reboot your creative side (at least it cant do you any harm). Good luck

[Hidden in reply to pollyanne]

thank you pollyanne

[Hidden]

Hi Razi, you are on the right page and you will know doubt groan when I write the following, but what i write WILL HELP it just takes....... time, patience, you have to think differently, plan, organise and put strategies in place.

I'm into my 6th year and still learning. I know ladycassy says she was the queen of multi tasking, but I beg to differ because it was me My nickname back then (pre injury) was Flash..... Comments heard from family, neighbours then would be something like... did you see her or was that just a flash, oomph! must have been her gardens done, washings out, shopping brought in, housework done etc... and that was after working a 40 plus hour week, and looking after hubby and son. phew!!!! Life will never be the same, just different.

When you and only you embrace the changes, you'll have started on a new and different life..... Good luck!

Like ricozoe says just because you feel better it doesn't mean you should do more. We always think of the worst outcome, whatever we are planning to do and it works for us.

Worst outcome means.... I get very tired very quickly, won't talk, my concentration is all consuming on the task in hand and god help anyone who suggests another instruction, I tend to fall more, cry at the sillyest thing, get angry, moody etc....etc..... and it only took us 5 years to learn this No matter what we do we start from that 'Worst' point because we now know the ' worst point' is a very good indicator to what's happening to my brain. (Back in the early days i would say yes to anything because i didn't know any better. I thought I was ok, as did family and friends. Obviously i wasn't ok, like Headway say its called 'the hidden disability' and we didn't know about it then) My husband often says, she did it yesterday why cant she do it today. We have strategies in place which allow us to enjoy what we do together and we definitely know what we can't do.

E.g No to ..... holidays abroad Yes... to a lovely to cottage in North Yorkshire.

No to hotels, yes to staying at home and having breakfast when you want, not when you have to, or often missing it altogether.

No to cooking nice meals at home... Yes to £10 Marks and Spencer's dine in offers (or other ones that are out there)

There are loads of changes we have embraced, but it took time, lots and lots and lots and loads more and we are still learning... But, we are getting there yippee!!!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

thankyou LeslieDilks

[fred57]

Know where you are coming from.In 1993 had a shunt inserted,also got menegitis.Since operation my whole life has changed,for the worst i may add.I have a terrible short term memory problem,find it very had to make conversation am very withdrawn and very unhappy.Problem being i have stopped going out altogether,and sometimes feel what the point most of the time.On a positive note i have a part time job at a school just across the road from me.To look at me you would think i didnt have a problem.Im also always getting the wrong signs as far women go,clutching at straws most of the time.But coming to headway has helped me loads.I also have my brother and family living with me and am nearly always very moody and misable and annoy them no end.Just not happy at all.Not a very nice person to be round,i think i have given up to certain extent.Not a happy bunny. Take care wilf signing off.

[Hidden in reply to fred57]

thankyou fred57

[Hidden]

omg,thankyou all so much,i did read them all,but was down a black whole,and could not see the way out...having problems coming to terms with accepting my situation. as i see i am not alone,and very encouraged by the all your replies..sorry took so long to reply... but re reading them today is a bit different to a couple of weeks ago..good day wished to you all ;}