Making fun of disabilities. Part 2.

[SandraEB]

I found this picture today.

Is this how I should behave?

If I did I wouldn't be able to continue to raise awareness of Persistent Vegetative State.

Ironically, I did exactly what it says on the picture Wednesday!! Sometimes you just have to.

My M.E allowed me to go out for lunch ( a rare treat as I am normally too exhausted and in too much pain) so thanks M.E !!

We sat at a table next to an elderly couple and got chatting about how difficult it is to get around. The woman said of her husband "If I didn't force him out he would turn in to a cabbage". I just smiled and didn't reply. She meant no harm to me. She could have no way of knowing that my son Ed is in PVS. Inside my head I was screaming - a cabbage is a vibrant living thing, there to serve a purpose in life.

A neighbour once said to my mum "Is Ed like a cabbage?" Mum went home and cried.

I am learning that there are times to react and times when it is wiser not to do so.

I will still continue to react whjen I feel it is justified. Vulnerable members of society who cannot defend themselves need somebody to try to make others understand.

Phew. Hope that makes sense?

[davesdad]

Hi Sandra,

Your post made perfect sense!

It reminded me of the saying “when you want to say something, say nothing” I take that as a reminder that reacting in the heat of the moment can often do more harm than good. We have all done it of course but (to quote another saying) we should try to pick our battles carefully.

You have obviously realised that these people used the language that they did out of ignorance. In fact professional choice of language is sometimes no better, the “V” in PVS itself often leads to misunderstanding of the condition.

To balance out those with misconceptions, there are people like me out in the world who have no real understanding of PVS but can still see that your son is a person, someone with extreme medical problems who needs lots of love and care.

Yes, do carry on defending your son (it is what parents are supposed to do!) and please continue to do what you can to raise awareness but it may be better to fight ignorance on a general level than to take on people one at a time. Sadly some people lack the intellect or emotional intelligence to understand, that is not their fault – just try to forgive them and move on.

God bless

[bikerlifestyle]

i think the term cabbage has change from a derogatory term to more of a general term and no malice is intended with it unless you use it to call a person a cabbage whilst using it to offend someone

but cabbaging out and i am just going to cabbage today is just slang term for doing nothing, but no offence is meant by it

like i said in my other reply for me its not what people say, its how they say it

and like you said, picking the time to react is also a wise move,