Frustrated of 32 years

[Stanley3]

I am really at my wits end to understand my erratic behaviour. I suffered a brain injury at the age of 7 and over the years have learnt about my behaviour and the effects it has on my life. When I get tired things all go wrong, I am unable to cope and I become irrational, sometimes verbally aggressive with ones nearest and dearest. I am destructive as though someone has given me a self destruct button and I become a very different person. It is damaging and always takes me a long time to get over an episode.

I would love to speak with anyone in a similar position. I get frustrated at the lack of help available for long termers living with brain injury and it helps a lot to talk about things and appreciate that my behaviour is not me. Its like Jekyll and Hide, can anyone relate to this???

[remember]

I suffered brain injury at the age of 10 (now 35) and had an MRI scan in 2010 to discover the real effects of the injury. Prior to that, I had marriage counselling and was told when I get really frustrated and angry, to pretend to look down on what I'm doing and see it from the outside, as someone else and think what a stranger would think about what I'm doing. It helps a lot of the time and I've stopped breaking quite a few things! To relax, I was told to do something I like, which is listen to my favourite music. I hope this helps.

[Hidden]

Hello Stanley,

I'm 45 years down the line and to be blunt I was a total b****d to start with. I used to rage and rant; I even walloped someone for taking the mick out of the dent in my head.

Obviously I couldn't go on like that and I found that I could recognise the signs that I was going to boil over and I managed to step back from it. Since that I've managed to hold my temper on every occasion, easily for 35 years now.

I also stopped taking all my medication [against medical advice] and the depth of my depressions decreased markedly

If you are aware that this occurs when you are tired can you not limit your fatigue?

Of course all our experiences are different and I know this isn't much help to you and sounds a little like 'think good thoughts' but that is what I did.

Good luck.

[Stanley3]

Thank you for your comment. Yes, I agree, sometimes low mood is confused by doctors as depression and they stick you on medication (anti depressents) which for me is not the answer.

I am a pretty calm person, although I do have a temper. I have things in place which help me to stay calm, for example, my dogs and minature horses which are completely therapeutic for me, I go to yoga classes and manage my fatigue by always ensuring I am in bed by 9pm and having a routine which involves chilling out in a bath and reading before sleep.

I think the pressure of being like everyone else, sometimes takes over and I do try to do too much to the detriment of my health and gaining fatigue which eventually results in my being unable to cope with everyday life stresses...... There is an underlying frustration of not being able to live like my peers and the knowing that one late night will take me a week to get over and knock me back, so I am always on catch up.... you need very understanding partners/friends, otherwise it can be quite lonely.