I gave advice today to Gemma who was struggling with her partners brain injury, his moods etc. In my situation i tokd her i had after 7yrs started to get my head round my partners mood swings I have had to for the sake of my health. But the thing I really struggle with and tonight feel like I want to pull my hair out and scream. Is the exhausting weight I have to carry, I have to struggle round the house on my walking frame and I have to switch plugs off, put things away, clean things. I have been the provider, the problem solver, the mender. This kind of weight on shoulders, when you have a bi yourself as well as managing two neuro conditions that have made me disabled. I am tired of being the strong one, the one that has to think for two.
I have just written my partner a letter and left it for him to read in the morning. If I speak to him I can see his short attention spam and I can see him switch off. At least I have to hope that some of it will go in by reading a letter. He is due to have another assessment with a new consultant and then has to wait to go to the brain injury unit. It can't come quick enough I wish it was tomorrow. My gp is visiting me on thursday and I think I have to have a chat with her and tell her how I feel.
This last seven years has been absolutely horrendous it has been one thing after the other. It has been monotonous and totally exhausting and has been very detrimental to my health attributing to my deterioration.
Don't you just wish you had a magic wand, or better still all the hassles and health problems and everything it brings were given to some of the bad people in the world that just seem to sale along.
Sorry I had to get some of my frustrations out.