Tough Christmas.

[Wheelchairdave]

I've got through thankfully but it's been tough. Tried an antipsychotic a few weeks ago something beginning with A but had to come off it with huge side effects. Now they are trying to bring my general anxiety levels down with buspirone which I've tolerated a lot better than the antipsychotic but I'm on a low dose so will probably increase in the next couple weeks. It was exactly a year ago on the 20th December since my heart attack which brought back a lot of memories I wish I could forget. The early intervention team are good and I'm so glad they are with me and to help. Not looking forward to new years eve to be honest but will just stay in doors. Thanks for the support. Take care everyone and have a happy new year.

[cat3]

It's not so easy keeping a low profile at this time of year is it Dave. I've been floored by a virus this year, so I escaped the commotion. I bought all presents/cards etc. online and maintained physical distance from others !

Looks like I'm stuck with it for a while longer so a quiet NY too I guess... (just have to be contented with lots of codeine, tv and chocs 😉)

I hope you'll muster up enough resolve to come through this final hurdle with a smile 😏and find some peace and optimism in 2024...

Cat x

[Mhelpsme]

Like you Dave, this has been the first Christmas that I’ve had to deal with, and I can now calm down and breath for a couple of days.

I’ve been dreading it, noise, commotion, lights, but the worst bit was when I found I couldn’t cope with trying to get three jobs done on Christmas Eve before going out with the family for dinner. It felt like my head wasn’t my own and everything was pushing in harder and harder until it overloaded. I’d got pushing pain in the back of my head and pain in the area I hit, but the worst bit was I couldn’t control my anxiety and I ended up in a corner of a room alone, crying and wanting everything to stop and go away. I lost my temper with my husband and sons for no reason. I feel ashamed at how I behaved, just thinking about it while writing this has started the pressure in my head again.

This place has been the saving of me. I can offload here and people Get Me. They understand. I don’t feel judged or alone. You’re not alone either - let it out. I’ve overheard people talking to my husband saying “Elaine’s looking better, she’s doing well”. They can’t see or feel the hurricane in my head. They don’t realise the struggle I have just to get through the day without exploding, becoming a shaking mess, feeling sick.

There’s new year to get through yet, but we got through Christmas - we can get through NY too. 🏅⭐

Stay strong, stay positive. YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS. You can get your life back, not the one you had before - but a new one. You are still YOU and this is just the next chapter in your story. The next goal to achieve to prove you are still you. I’m not saying it’s easy, and bad days and hurdles seem to crash into us unexpectedly, but we are getting there.

I dip in and out of this forum depending on how I’m coping… but I’ve found that someone is always here to listen and help. You’re not alone.

Hang in there - just a few more days to get through.

Elaine x

[Wheelchairdave in reply to Mhelpsme]

That's very kind. I can identify with you fully. It is annoying when people say stuff like your looking better etc etc when inside your head you know how bad you are. Then the voices start to say stuff that your no good and a failure. Thanks for the encouragement and hope you are OK.

[skydivesurvivor]

another one endured/ over!! Hope it’s a good year, funny how the brain allows anxiety but can’t remember what we’re in the kitchen for?!!

[Mhelpsme in reply to skydivesurvivor]

😂 😂thanks skydivesurvivor, I needed that ☺️ x