I’m feeling so much emotional pain and sadness. Firstly, coping with my brain problems and how they affect me everyday - feels like one of the worst things ever to deal with. it’s changed my cognitive ability, my personality and ability to feel love properly and left me without much hope at all.
Secondly, I feel so much emotional pain thinking about my ex girlfriend, who dumped me a couple of years ago and has now moved on with someone else, probably so much happier than she was with me. This still feels so hard to deal with. Just feel heartbroken by it even after so long. I haven’t been able to move on with my life as i’ve been living with these brain problems. i am stuck, permananetly sad and without joy and struggling so much. I miss her and can’t find happiness in anything i do. i know i need to get over my past relationship but it is very difficult to actually do. The thought of her being happy and living a new life with someone else is hard to take. Let alone trying to accept these neuro problems i have.
Thanks for reading, appreciate any help.
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Dann2
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I so understand you. Just remember this. If you were on your way to your grave .... No one would ask to get in it with you!. When your gone they get over you. Fluff them all . You need to love you, be your best friend your loyal carer .the one who won't abandon you. Imagine a person is your inner voice as it is them who are in control . Let it be the best person you wish to have in your life supporting you. A voice that is strong. . Not the one that's enjoys pointing out your weaknesses . Hugs & hope Hun.
hi Dann2 I can see from your past posts that all of your health problems came from taking a medication that you has 20 plus years ago .. have you had any help from the drugs company ? Not sure if that is even possible … But if they have said your BI was from the medication you would have hoped for some help …I Acquired my BI from a accident two ans half years ago and like your self and others in this group the symptoms we all have are very similar yet how we got them very a lot .. my personality has changed ,very little taste , anger , just not the person I was ….. for me I’ve tried stopping the antidepressants as felt it might help with the emotional dead but ( but it didn’t) I just became more angry and anxious and that was 4 month’s reduction and 3 months with non .. so I am back on them at a lower dose for a couple of months and feel les anxiety and calmer .. but I’m still emotionally not as I was pre accident and am trying to learn to live with the new me .. I’m guessing I’m trying to say dosnt matter how we all got here it’s what we do with this new you that really is the most important .. I’ve had counselling , changed antidepressants and fought very hard to get physically fitter and it all has helped amazingly well to the point I’m actually liking the new me more and more as time goes by 😊 I wish you good luck in your journey to hopefully find the new you as nice as you want it to be and get help to find it … Sue x
thank you. no, the drug company Roche has ruined my life… they settle these things when forced in court when people sue them. no chance of any kind of help or care for the damage they’ve done to people.
yes, i do have to try and make the best of the person i am now, but that’s very difficult when i can no longer perform socially or cognitively as i used to and end up lonely as hell trying to cope.
thank you for sharing your situation. im glad to hear you are improving and happier in your life. That’s nice to hear.
hi Dann it’s such a shame your not getting help from the drugs company . But I do hope you are getting help from your GP with help to councillors and or meds if needed .. I wouldn’t have been able to deal with the new me without antidepressant ( the right ones ) and councillors … keep talking to all of us as we do understand the most bizarre life’s we have had to or try to live with .. sue x
welcome!! Sounds similar to my history!! Only good hope I can give u is in Tim’s your brain will require, making you more at ease with the person you’ve become. You’ll find after several years that bits of the old you suddenly reappear!! Y have the option to select what qualities y want to keep and discard the worse ones, very few people get this chance in life!! All I can say is smile to spite the tbi!! If nothing else it will bolster u some, others may think y totally lost it but ignore them!! Took me 20+ years but am most at peace with my personality than I have ever been!! Good luck, chin up….saw a corner of u mouth twitch?! Come back whenever u need to, me or other likeminded strangers will be here for a chat!!
thank you, i do try and put a fake smile on through the day. gets quite exhausting. it’s been about 20 years for me too. a long old time, i just try not to think about what i’ve missed out on. it’s too hard otherwise!
Know how you feel, been there, got the T-shirt, in fact good job I can't remember because got loads of them 🤣🤣🤣
As others say, you have to learn to like yourself and not give a damn what others might or might not think.
Your local Headway group may help as a social starter, but be warned, it ain't easy and you need to be non-non-judgemental.
As for girlfriends (or boyfriends if you're of the opposite persuasion) for me it's platonic now, got too much to try to sort out and the added distraction ....
feel your pain cause I’m in it too. All my independence ,self belief of good things at round the corner have disappeared cause I have no idea of how to move forward with my new self or what that will look like. I fill myself with positive mantra to try and keep the wolf from the door. Plus I do some volunteering to get myself out when I can, stops me dwelling.
i was saying positive mantras to myself this morning. i also try and volunteer a bit, like you. which helps the loneliness mainly and is a temporary distraction. thanks and hope it goes well for you and you manage to find hope.
Hi Dann2, the effect an injury has on you is unbelievable, it affects your brain, your body, your ability to do anything. Everyday easy tasks turn into monumental confusing tasks. Do you go to Headway meetings? The meetings helped me soooo much, finding other people with the same problems, finding answers to things that have worried me terribly, but mostly laughing at the way we now have to deal with stupid comments from so called understanding people. It's great not to feel you have to put on a brave face in the meetings. Don't try and reconnect with old friends if they don't get you, find new ones and start to enjoy your days and look forward to things. Do what makes you happy, as long as it's legal !!!!! 😀👍
I don't have any answers but just wanted to say I read your post and am thinking about you and how hard being heartbroken is. I met someone new in mid life, a wonderful man, now my husband. I never thought it would happen. He has my back (and gets my current brain and language problems). Just get through each day if you can. I used to write a list of things that made me happier and try to make these happen, however small. Take care of yourself.
I am not as far down the line as you I don't think but what Pedal2 says about reinventing yourself is very true for me.. I am reconsidering work (because of not driving and speech being tricky etc) but without sounding too happy clappy maybe it will give me time to really think about what I want to do/what I can do and hope you managed to muddle through the day and even find a little bit of happiness. It is just a day. Tomorrow might be easier. Take care.
It may sound like a cliche, but you do eventually get used to it. I can remember, a little too vividly, losing a lot in the early years following my brain injury and it's not a 'you'll get over it' kind of loss as it is pretty draining sitting there watching your life and identity being stolen away from you. But, and there is always a but, you kind of eventually come to a new plateau where you have to start all over again. To start yourself all over again. I think it's an individual thing but I recommend it when the time comes. Yes, you are different from whoever you used to be, but not completely. Once you get there, you have to think about what you can do and, perhaps more importantly, what you would actually like to do. It's re-invention time, and I wish you all the best of luck, but I am sure you will be fine. Most people livong without brain injuries never reinvent themselves so you are separating yourself from the main herd a little by being so radical but you kind of need to and isn't a reinvented life potentially more interesting than one which stays the same day after day after day?
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