Feeling so worried, brain really has been failing me. I feel so slow around people and can’t make proper conversation. It’s embarrassing and pretty devastating for me. I can see myself struggling but can’t do anything to get better. I’d do anything to make my brain better.
Anyone else trying to cope with a slow brain? How can i accept this?
Hi there, I completely understand. I had a subarachnoid hemorrage nearly a year ago and I really struggle with basically everything. The speaking is a problem, but I find the more I keep talking, the better it gets. Its very embarrassing at first as I mix words and can't get words out etc, but mine seems to improve slowly over the course of the day.I find walking a god send. If I'm frustrated and annoyed, I put my music on and go for a little walk and that seems to help a bit. Staying positive is hard but I find fresh air helps.
All of our recoveries are going to take time. My standard recovery is apparently 2 years.....I just try and do what I can but not feel bad at the things I can't. It will get better, we just need time! 🙂
hi mate I suffered a tbi 30 years ago had the same issue don’t worry about it take everyday as it comes if the people you are chatting to listen your a winner I can speak from experience take your time try not to stress you will get there.
Anyone that doesn’t take the time to listen to you is a fool and they are missing out.Have you tried going to your local Headway they realy helped me you are a fantastic person.
Hey getting used to the changes in your brain at holding a coherent conversation and things like that is really hard, because it's a bit like changes in your personality. I'm not sure how long ago your TBI was but it will improve. Also, if there's lots of people or other stimuli, it's much harder to focus. It's a horrible feeling and sometimes things feel very overwhelming, maybe you are over tired?Take your time and chat to people it's easier to talk with like your family to get your confidence up.
It's one of my biggest problems, I'm sure it'll get better.
Hi Dann2,
like everyone has said, it will keep getting better.
It can help to find ways to exercise it places without the pressure.
For me I started listening to the sports news at 11 pm on the radio.
I don't like listening to sports news. Not at all. AND there were two people, with low pitched voices, saying basically the same thing (more or less) over and over again.
Yup, it's a way to practise conversation without have to participate.
The other thing that helped me tons was pretending to learn another language on one of those free aps - I picked Duolingo as their lessons in French and Spanish are pretty well developed. So, in that you speak and the computer says if you said it right, and you also listen to see if you understand - all in a kind of game environment. You can turn the speaking off or the listening off, or both. OMG I struggled at first - I thought I would try French because I'd done some at school - brain wasn't having it - so I did some Spanish - and then my brain wanted to do French. Anyway it is a way of practising speaking and listening and comprehension without any judgement.
I would also talk to Headway and see what else they have.
BTW I still have issues with conversations as I am so literal the penny often doesn't drop. Til later. Much later.
Anyway I do a lot better, and let's face it, a lot of people we know aren't coming up with the newest in rocket science very day, as we get used to them and things get refamiliarized we'll do better. And people that didn't know us before won't have any comparison so will just be ok with who you are.
Yes, the struggle is very real, and yes, there is light somewhere over there....
Leaf
hi, as said - it takes time. I found even going out a bit overloading at first, let alone trying to have a conversation and the more self conscious you become, the harder it gets. Can you try a one to one chat in a quiet place and then build? I’m not sure what stage/time since injury you are at but I’m coming up 5 years post and things have definitely eased as my system has got used to situations. One big thing that helped me also was sitting with a wall behind me or even in a corner seat when out with others. Things can only come at you from in front then!
Just to add also, it’s the processing/ slow brain that’s hardest but it’s not down to your ability or understanding so try not to beat yourself up over it. Tiredness and stress all aggravate and do ease with time. I used to find my attention could only focus on so much before I felt like everyone was speaking a foreign language at me, all at once! Gradually, the ‘bandwidth’ widens, and pushes this point further away!
I also found journaling helped - got my thoughts ‘ironed out’ a bit! It’s not everyone’s go to, but definitely mine. Somebody earlier mentioned a walk - whatever is the thing that ‘calms’ you.
Good luck
hard, only good thing to say is u won’t find any peace til u accept the changes. Hard for u but 4 u friends/ family even worse! They see the old u, can’t accept the new version? At least y get the chance to redefine y character?! Bin the bad, polish what y keep? I look at it as a second chance! Is hard/ frustrating but the tool to use is SMILE?!!! To spite the changes, the injury?! Others will look n think u actually lost u mind?!! - no, just taking time out to change? I lost all my friends, either cos I couldn’t jump or I had already turned my back on older, dearer ones! Ex- husband had won them over years before, was too lost n my addiction to care?! Chin up!! See I ain’t depressed u yet? What was that little twitch in the corner of u mouth?….a SMILE!!? C , welcome to the funny farm, peck peck.. the new you!!! Xx
very much like I was, the only good news is in time u relearn to socialise!! Ur brain is reproducing ditching the bad and honeing the better bits of u old character?!! Sorry it will take time, will be easier 4 u, family & friends will see the old physical u .expect the old u too, in time, no doubt after much hardship u will emerge a much settled, relaxed new character!! See, there is sometimes a good outcome?!! U need to find whatever relaxes u. Art, gardening, whatever!! Use it to redeveloped the new you!! We will always be here to support u on y journey. Rant/rave as u go. We have been there so no need to hold back, will be a long journey, unique though! Who else gets the chance to be a better them? & I found that to SMILE to spite y injury helps greatly!! They may think u mad!! But we know different!! Good luck, stay safe and use us whenever ok? … see!! Y nearly smiling?!! Xx
you’re not alone. That doesn’t help maybe but struggling to be as fast and capable as I used to be just rendered me very very very depressed. I went from humorous, multi tasking and capable to disorganised, forgetful, tearful, confused and v cognitively challenged unable to keep up with conversations etc. I was lost in the world and couldn’t cope with the busyness and speed of the world.
think we all have to find what works for us but most importantly don’t expect to have the brain you used to have. Laugh often and find happiness in simpler things now is my advice. Do what you can and don’t don’t don’t beat yourself up or strive to be how you were. You’ll find your way but it is about being kind to yourself and being aware of any nasty bullying internal chatter in your mind. Honestly be kind to yourself. It works.
Hoping you feel better in yourself soon. It’sa journey we’re all on now.
Always talk to someone on line, on the phone out in person of things get dark
Take care and buy a hammock!
and spellcheck every message hahaha I clearly didn’t!
Hey Dann,
I completely get you. I personally am at a rock bottom myself so my words may not reach too deep but my word for you is PERSEVERE, have HOPE. It isn't easy, and unfortunately it won't ever be BUT the only thing that has made some difference for me is positivity and trying my best to not stay depressed. It's hard to be not working right, so stick with it, keep talking, keep trying.
YOU are NOT alone. We are all here for you.
To answer the question, how do I accept this? I have no idea. I am lost myself. How the hell do we accept this? NO CLUE. Like I said before, HOPE. That's what you gotta have. Ideas: Buddhism, mindfulness, self-compassion, church.
Thank you Mountaingirl23. Im sorry to hear you are not doing well either. It is very hard to not be working right!
I shall try and be more positive and hopeful. it’s important to notice the good things, isn’t it.
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