New here

[Charty23]

I had a SAH at end of July, feeling lost can’t drive until Feb bit confused at time looking for support and someone to chat to! Tired by midday

[Oppo24]

Hi Charty, I understand your frustration at not being able to drive - I'm same age, had to stop driving 5 years ago and will probably never be able to drive again (epilepsy). Instead, I bought an old cargo bike and used that for local travel, trips to the park or shops etc. That might be an option for you?

[JULIETstevens in reply to Oppo24]

if you haven't got a family member to drive you about, then i can understand your isolation and frustration. I CAN'T BIKE ANYMORE, BUT COULD YOU GET A TRICYCLE TO HELP YOU GET OUT AND ABOUT IF YOU CAN'T USE A NORMAL BIKE? I'm always up for making new friends on here, so do respond if you fancy getting to know someone else going through the same trauma as you (i hope you do.....)

[Charty23 in reply to JULIETstevens]

always good to talk to someone! Feeling fed up today!

[JULIETstevens in reply to Charty23]

i ubderstand your 'fed up' feeling. I too get fed up of this new life, but think i'm slowly adjusting to it. Fing local activities etc that get you out and keep you entertained- eg i do the village coffee morning, art club and church. A lovely community support worker also comes in most weeks and takes me out for a hot chocolate at the local pub. Try engaging with local social sctivities.... oh i also do church, which has led to me meeting lots of new people and the vicar even gave us a whole freezer full of meat from an old lady whose husband had died. Juliet xxx

[Charty23 in reply to JULIETstevens]

thank you!

[Charty23 in reply to Oppo24]

hi thanks for your reply, I used to cycle but came off my bike and have been advised that I shouldn’t ride again though I’m thinking about that one! I might go with someone if I do! And perhaps go off road! Told not to drive until Feb. Feeling fed up ! Just worried in case SAH happened again!

[JULIETstevens in reply to Charty23]

wow, tat's great you cab drive post Feb!!! i'm surprised at that though as i don't think i'll ever be able to drive again! got hubby as my private driver now though- and for free!.. I'm an author- i've written pieces that the brain charity have published online and write novels. what are your hobbies? juliet xxx

[Oppo24 in reply to Charty23]

I came off my bike also, breaking my hip and was advised against riding on the roads so have to stick to footpaths. Not ideal so haven't been out on it in a while. I qualified for a disabled buss pass so now just use public transport and get my shopping delivered. Its just a nuisance that a trip of just a few miles can take so long by bus and invariably involves changing but at least I can get out and about.

[JULIETstevens in reply to Oppo24]

well done for getting out on local transdport. Where do you go? what sort of thing do you do? I'd love to hear about your hobbies? juliet x

[Oppo24 in reply to JULIETstevens]

Hi and thanks for interest. I go into local town, visit markets, walk in parks or along canal paths etc. Am also part of a local Samba Drumming band playing hand drum (tamborim) so go to practice each week, then we perform at various live events. Tough to remember all the patterns but after a while they become familiar. Also part of a scratch band who meet and play every couple of weeks in a coffee shop in town, it's fun as you can just make it up on the fly, take my bongos on the bus. x

[skydivesurvivor]

suffered a TBI in 2000 which resulted n my license being taken away, at least you may get yours back! Life changing injuries which am still struggling to come to terms with. Have found this site very therapeutic!! Welcome to it! Lots of chat, good place to get encouragement

[Teazymaid]

hi Charty welcome to this group .. great place to not feel alone in your new world .. lots of very interesting and helpful people on here that have helped me in my process to a new life …

Sue

[Charty23 in reply to Teazymaid]

good to hear! Feeling a bit down

[Teazymaid in reply to Charty23]

I’ve found it that my emotions have been very difficult and not known How to deal with them for two years know .. it can be very lonely dealing with such a difficult event and from what I’ve found the people on here know a lot more .. please keep writing in and asking questions as I’m sure you will get some good advice ,., sue ..

[Charty23 in reply to Teazymaid]

think difficulty is worrying that it will happen again! Also I used to be very fit and am annoyed I’m not anymore! Albeit although im 66 I used to cycle regularly now I just take the dogs a walk and swim sometimes goo to hear from you !

[Oppo24 in reply to Charty23]

I bought a DeskFit machine which lives under my desk in my work-from-home room and find it is really good at helping me keep fit. It’s is a kind of treadmill you can use for walkin*, running or cycling. BitGym is an online app with videos of walks, cycle rides etc which you can join so you aren’t doing it in isolation. I find it really enjoyable and means I can stay fit without even leaving the house! Great when it’s raining or very cold.

[Charty23 in reply to Teazymaid]

thank you!

[JULIETstevens in reply to Charty23]

i appreciate your concern that it may happen again. Just take precautions to keep safe. I had deja vue for a while post TBI, thinking i'd had two TBIs. that's gone now though, thank goodness !

[Teazymaid]

oh bless you … can’t imagine the worry of it happening again that must be very difficult to deal with . I did read your details and see it’s happened before … No wonder you feel down at times it’s only natural to feel this way yet we have to fight it and not beat ourselves up over feelings like it …

You sound like you enjoyed being active and I’m the same . Not as fit as I use to be and that stopped a few years prior to the accident but I am back at the gym doing what I can and doing classes for 12 months now ( haven’t been for a couple of weeks because bits of my body weren’t so good and been very down in head space ) so I am 💯with you on keeping going just drops off when I’m not so good..

I do think this group will be good for you as we are all here with our new brains and for different reasons , so I’m guessing someone else may with the thoughts that it may happen again be great to chat to .. I’ve learnt so much from reading what everyone says on here …Sue x

[Charty23 in reply to Teazymaid]

Thank you! good to hear someone else who thinks like me! havent come to terms with everything at present! still think I'm going to be a fit as I used to be!

[Teazymaid in reply to Charty23]

might see us in the next Olympic 😂😂

while I’m training it will give me time to get use to the new me that’s if I ever do get used to it .. although my speech / trying to find a word does prove entertaining 😂 and terribly wrong sometimes .. sue

[JULIETstevens in reply to Teazymaid]

keep goin and working on your speech and language difficulties. The more you chat to people, the bwetter you'll get at it. Stay strong and focus on the things you can still do, rather than the things you can't. Harness the power of Rocky, as you can do this.....'Adrian!" hahaha1

[MimiSpree]

Having our independence curtailed, even temporarily isso frustrating, but I have found some silver-linings here-and-there.

[JULIETstevens in reply to MimiSpree]

yes i'm glad i'm not a freak in having found silver linings to my situation. What are yours??? juliet xxx

[Teazymaid in reply to MimiSpree]

I did anything I could to get my independence back .. i was not so nice with my determination to be independent but I think that’s why I am getting there with the new me ..sue x

[Charty23 in reply to Teazymaid]

good to hear!!

[JULIETstevens]

YES, I TOO have strangely found silver linings once i came to terms withh my injury. Coming to terms and accepting the new you is the biggest cvhallenge i think, but once you do and you build a new life, happiness again can and will follow so don't lose hope. Juliet xxx

[Charty23 in reply to JULIETstevens]

haven’t found any silver linings yet!

[JULIETstevens]

eeep looking for those silver linings- maybe try new things, new social groups locally, new hobbies maybe?

[Charty23]

thank you! Just not feeling it today!

[MimiSpree]

Silver linings aren't frequent or overwhelming in nature, nor in our perspectives. Some silver linings I have discovered are: Learning how to slow-down; learning how to ask for help and acknowledging there IS help and people like to help; Noticing I still have my sense of humor despite everything; Discovering most people are understanding and kind; Truly knowing some of my friends and family really love me; Despite pain, deformity, loss of cognitive function, exhaustion, isolation, financial stress—I can still be happy and grateful no matter what. Before BT, I didn't place enough importance on these things.

[Painting-girl]

Hi Charty - just saying hi, and welcome to the forum... Have you had a chance to chat to the Headway helpline people yet - the phone line is open in office hours, and they're a knowledgeable sounding board - and emotional support too the number is 0808 800 2244

[Charty23 in reply to Painting-girl]

thank you!

[Charty23 in reply to Painting-girl]

will call them soon, thank you for number and contact! Keep in touch Cx

[JULIETstevens]

HI BOTH. AS PART OF MY CARE PACKAGE, A LOVEY LADY COMES ONCE A WEEK TO TAKE ME OUT TO THE LOCAL PUB FOR A HOT CHOC. WE HAVE A HOT CHOC AND GIRLIE CHAT AND (EVEN THOUGH SHE'S PAID TO SEE ME) I CONSIDER HER A FRIEND NOW AND ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD TO HER COMING TO VISIT (WAITING ON HER ARRIVAL RIGHT NOW ACTUALLY. ANYWAY, I WOULD STRONGLY RECOMEND YOU TO LOOK INTO THIS FOR YOU TOO. JULIET XXX