1 year Anniversary

[CallumR85]

Hi everyone,

I've not posted in a while but wanted to give an update.

At 7.30pm tonight, it will be 1 year since the accident and what has caused my life to change forever. The week building up to it has been hard as I have been trying to peice together my exact steps and work out what I could have done to change things. The realisation is that there was nothing I could have done and as weird as it is to say,this has changed my life for the better in nearly every way.

Obviously I wish it never happened but in truth it has made me a better version of who I was. It forced me to make changes in my life and I'm now in a job I love, my flat is on the market and I'm about to move in with my partner, relationships with friends and family are better than ever and for the first time ever I feel content.

Given the extent of my BI, I will never understand how I have reached this point so fast but, not that I'm religious or spiritual in anyway, someone must have decided to give me a shot of the lucky stick. The side effects I am left with are manageable and its gotten to the point that when I meet new people they wouldn't even have guessed what I have just lived through.

I just want to say thank you for all those who have replied to my previous posts with messages of advice and support and for all those who have written the many many posts I have read. I believe it's all paid a part in my speedy recovery. For all those who are starting their journey and for all those going through their journey, I wish you well and I know you will all reach your content point at the time that is right for you.

I'm under no illusion that this will be a life long journey but I am now happy to keep going with it.

Callum

[Hidden]

Sounds good, you have got through it and have a really good attitude. I have a question how old are you and have you had previous head injuries?

[CallumR85 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you very much pinkvision. I've just turned 37. I had a bit of a knock to the head 12 years ago and my CT scan i had had for this one showed I had a old fracture from that one but I remember at the time I just had a head ache for a few days, possibly concussion.

[Hidden in reply to CallumR85]

Was wondering because of your speed of recovery. They say multiple injury over time and getting older slows recovery due to reducing neural capacity. Thanks for your reply.

[Painting-girl]

I'm really glad to read this Callum - acceptance is a good place to reach, and I'm glad that the different areas of your life are working out for you. I'm sure that anyone new here and reading your post will be encouraged. It's good for all of us to reflect on good outcomes - naturally enough we support each other, but it's good to know about things when they are positive too .

[skydivesurvivor]

what a wonderful transformation, Dr said to my daily what ever changes/impovments will be in 5 years post TBI. Am still astonished by new bits some 20 years later!! Basically still a case of good days v bad ones, have taught myself to SMILE o spite th bd ones!! Goo luck

[Loveblue123]

This is so inspiring and I'm so pleased for you, it also gives me hope for my son's future. Please could I ask what kind of job you are doing? My son sustained a tbi 10 months ago and is hoping to return to his job on a phased return in the new year but it's in a very busy office. He has short term memory loss, struggles with background noise and he also gets very agitated if he can't complete a task. I think he feels like he needs to try to get back to work but I am wondering if he needs a change of occupation to something less stressful.

[CallumR85 in reply to Loveblue123]

i work in an office but I used to run a team of 26 staff and found it too much when I went back to work. I experienced exactly the same as what your son is now. I've recently changed jobs, still office based but only 2 days office and 3 days at home. I don't manage anyone now, just my own work load. Has your son explored less demanding roles within the organisation he already works for? It was a huge risk for me to move to a new organisation, lucky it paid off but I would only recommend that kind of change at this stage in his recovery if he is 100% sure and is ready for the huge challenge of learning the new job and new ways of working.

[Loveblue123 in reply to CallumR85]

Thanks so much for your reply. My son's workplace is very supportive and I think would be open to him starting back on a less demanding role. I think it will be easier for him to return to the same company where he has good friends rather than starting somewhere new but I'm concerned in case he goes back too soon, gets overwhelmed and it makes him feel like he's failed which will set him back. I am probably guilty of being overprotective! Did your short term memory loss improve over time?

[CallumR85 in reply to Loveblue123]

It sounds like the right thing for him going back to familiar surroundings and people who know him. Make sure he is realistic about what he can manage hours wise to start with. I started back on 6 hours per week over 2 days with breaks each hour. I struggled with it but it felt like I had worked a full week and that gave me a sense of achievement. I gradually increased my hours over 5 months and done it the right way. An extra hour here and there and same with the days, I also realised it was fine to pull back at the times I needed to. Screen work is draining and my eye sight had changed dramatically. My n new reading glassed have the tint in them and I found working with ear phones to block out the background noise really helped as well. My short term memory came back within a matter of months, I've always been as sharp as a tack but my issue was finding the information stored in my head. I started with making notes about everything and using diaries. It's now my norm as now1 word reminds helps me find what I'm looking for it my head. It's about Trial and error with what works best for you and my biggest bit of advice would be for your son to make people aware of what stage he is at and how those around could help him. Such as in meetings someone takes minutes to allow him to digest what's being discussed, only 1 person speaking at a time and when he is trying to find what to say they give him time to find the words without jumping in and saying for him.

[Loveblue123 in reply to CallumR85]

Thank you, this really helpful.

[moo196]

Happy brainniversary 🙏 life changing in a positive way too

[cat3]

Well done ! You took stock of your capabilities, opted for a more manageable job and now seem to have made your peace with the injury. Dealing with life changing brain injury can be a hard slog, but it looks like you're getting there Callum.

Trial & error can be a 2-3 year learning process but it looks like you're finding short cuts to this new reality through sensible moves which work for you.

Keep in mind you're still vulnerable though m'love. It's still early days even after 12 months. But you're relatively young and, that together with acceptance and quiet determination, is a good combination. Keep doing what you're doing ! 😉 Xx