advice

[Eltonsilver]

I haven't written for a while but I want to ask if anyone has gone through this. My husband is 9 months down the line after a traumatic brain injury, he is still in hospital rehab, he's doing great. Walking well with a stick and he can do most things himself, get dressed, eat his meals he's doing great. He still has cognitive and memory problems but even this is improving. His problem is at the moment he refuses to go and have a bath/shower sometimes even a wash at times. He will decline to go for physio. At the weekend he was quite down and quiet. I'm hoping all of this will pass as he improves. Has anyone had this themselves or with loved one's. Any advice much appreciated

[Catx1978]

Hi I hope what I say helps. I suffered from a brain injury just over a year ago and going through community rehab now. I came out of hospital December last year. Does he have someone to talk to? I had some pretty down days where I wouldn't even leave the room and for me, it's part of the emotional journey of recovery. Physically I'm doing well considering but mentally, I'm falling apart. His life has changed and the future will look uncerain for him at the moment and that can be tough to deal with. As for the washing a showering, I went to washing every other day because the act of washing, physically tired me out. The brain fatigue is horrendous. I hope what I have said has helped a little.

[cat3]

I think we shower/bathe to maintain a feeling of wellbeing and it's also just part of the daily routine.

But I remember the early rehab days when standing was still quite precarious and showering was awkward and tiring . But once I was shown the bathroom (with actual bath) I was up to my neck in hot water every morning!

Could it be just too tiring and tedious for your man at present, and maybe he hasn't fully recovered his social awareness ? His priorities may be limited, or slightly skewed, since his brain injury and we can be quite child-like in the early rehab days. Hopefully this instinct will return in time. I hope so m'love.. x

[Eltonsilver in reply to cat3]

thanks Cat, i think you are right his understanding of things are still lacking at the moment although improving. We are having peaks and troughs at the moment x

[Skallagrigg]

my son,29,is in brain rehab, had a shower the other night first time in 3 weeks, missed physio for 2 weeks now, he just says no. And if i try to banter or encourage him when hes in a no mood he gets more withdrawn ,he will also only shower when certain staff are on duty to help, i.m told its normal, i talk to someone else who says her husband is the same, if anyone comes up with a magic wand for this i.d like tp know too

[Eltonsilver in reply to Skallagrigg]

that's a relief to know that's normal thank you

[Teazymaid]

hi I’m nearly 2 years post TBI and like all your replies have said that it’s a very strange place to be recovery … i had anger very bad with the body I woke up in ( that’s how I describe it) . I am so much better now and also know how difficult i was for my husband .. but I just couldn’t stop the horrible me .. my emotions were not the same .!they are changing back to the old me but I’m not the same I’m guessing it may be the new me . Only time will tell but I’m not struggling with anger issues so that’s great .. maybe your husband would go go for a swim / relax in water .. this would be so nice on the body and would prompt an other path way to washing / shower after the swim .. sue x

[Eltonsilver in reply to Teazymaid]

thanks for that, unfortunately he is still in hospital rehab at the moment we are trying to coax him at the momemt

[paxo05]

hi

Ive been trying to remember back and i know i had a problem with showering. Initially i felt it undignified being washed by someone and also tiring later on. Also trying to rember if i had showered or not was also a problem.

I suffer from excessive sweating and have no body temperature control so even after showering i felt no better. Plus it became the only thing i had control over.

Stick with it for he will change.

Pax

[Eltonsilver in reply to paxo05]

thanks pax, that's reassuring

[DebFl]

Yes indeed! I can relate . After my 2 craniotemies and stroke 10 years ago, while still in the hospital, I would not allow anyone to put me near a shower. I had use of my legs , and still do. My body temperature was way off, I did not want to be wt. i felt very vulnerable and afraid. Being left alone as much as possible seemed the least i could ask of anyone. I never went into rehab. i insisted to come home to an empty home by myself. I struggled with being comfortable bathing for a very long time. Perhaps, for now, you can offer to bring a washcloth to him and allow him to wash in the bathroom. I know therapy has helped me cope and continue to move forward with my life. I have a zoom session today, infact.

[Eltonsilver in reply to DebFl]

that's really helpful thank you, i think he is very sensitive.

I hope you continue to improve x