Family are hard work post BI

[Charlie90]

Just wondering if anyone with a brain injury can relate.

First of all I would like to point out I am fully aware how lucky I am to have both of my parents alive and around to help me out

However I am finding my mother and father in particular increasingly difficult to deal with and I find them extremely over bearing

For example my mother will ask me a question and completely over rule and I think we’ll why ask me the question?!?!?

Obviously I now have no filter so tell people exactly what I think so we are at a point I tell her how she makes me feel.

Then she gets in a mood with me IT IS EXHAUSTING and frustrating!!!!

As a 32 year old woman I can make my own decisions and choices. I have full capacity and have very good insight and excellent cognition

Not asif I need to be safeguarded I know I am still vulnerable but I do not enjoy being treated like a child!!!

Any one else experienced this or have any tips for me dealing with this?

[Pairofboots]

Hi Charlie, I haven't experienced this from a BI point of view, but I did have a dad that although well meaning, had a low opinion of me. He effectively left me and my brother to bring ourselves up, but he would parachute in every now and then to deliver a few words of wisdom and to lay the guilt on. I don't think he was ever aware of his effect.

Even in his later years he would drop in the odd "helpful" comment.

I don't think I am alone, and I think I survived pretty well in the scheme of things.

However old we get, to our parents we are always a kid and they know best in their thinking. In the natural order of life, we end up putting some distance from our parents, even if that is next door. The relationship changes in time as our independence grows. They will still have their pennies worth, but we become more tolerant with space to cushion the blow, eventually the roles possibly completely reverse.

I know this doesn't change anything for you. It's just how I understand the parent, child/growd up relationship. I do understand how exasperating it is. 🍀

[Astley10]

A don't know if your going to like this answer but they have got your best interest at heart. as u had your bleed in 2019 and its caused u a lot of problems 3 years is very early into your changed life ,personality, navigating the new you .because at the beginning we all think thers nothing wrong with us we Don't actually see how much we've changed. I am 13 years down the line and realising a can't do the things a used to be able to do .it doesn't make it any easier because no 2 days are the same .if I had 1 wish of how a would have handled it better over the years would be to keep quiet listen to what people say and don't think I no everything. But wee have a head injury we try our best .hope everything works out for u well and family is everything .all the best mate 👌

[paxo05]

Hi,

I can see where Astley10 is coming from as it is still early and they can be protective overly so.

On the other hand they may not understand why you have not recovered yet. If like me you look normal, OK I never looked that normal., but if you do they may not understand what they can't see.

It's hard to explain to others when you are unsure yourself.

My wide and I parted and I lived back at mums for a bit. Boy did that open her eyes. The rest of the family still have problem understanding my problems 23 years down the line.

The ones closest to you will understand and it will get better.

Pax