I'm 18 months older than my sister and the day of my accident she didnt see or know anything for the 9 days I were in hospital she stayed at a friends for the whole 9 days I guess they were protecting her from seeing the horror of her big bro being in such a state which is understandable I were 10 she were 8. Anyway as I'm opening up about all this she cant understand any of it. She just gives it the you are going crazy bro the usual stereo typing crap what i tell her goes straight over head and she thinks I've lost the plot. My accident didnt damage my intelligence it damaged my skull my memory and communication and my leg it frustrates the hell out of me as I arnt cracking up far from it tbf. I dont show my frustration but inside I'm like AARRGGHH🤬🤬🤬🤬. They just don't get it..thankgod for you people this is the only place I find no judgement or ridicule and I feel a comfort here. My sister may understand in time but WOW what does it take 😤😤
Sibling doesnt remember : I'm 18 months older than... - Headway
Sibling doesnt remember
That's difficult. You could ask her to either call the Headway helpline herself, or do a three way call with you, her and Headway. Three way calls are quite easy on mobile phones now - even I understand how to do them!! You could present it to her that it would be helpful to you if you could speak with her and Headway together. Just a thought. 😊
Maybe get a printout from Headway detailing the long-term effects of brain injury (either ask Headway to send one or download from the site) and post it to your sister.
She can make of it what she will, but the facts might give her some food for thought ? 🤔 x
Well, you can give people a chance and point them at information. Sometimes they need some processing time to start to understand and sometimes they just aren't going to. You are the way she's always known you, so no difference to her in a sense.
My Mom read a bunch of stuff and had a friend who had a brain injured son, she thought she had it down in spades... til she moved in with me. She tries, but really she still doesn't get it. She has just learned not to say things like "Oh, I could make you more efficient if you'd just do it my way."
Even people with similar challenges won't necessarily get it - like the first time I wore a different pair of shoes than the ones I had learned to walk in I was pretty wobbly and made a joke about it and one of the therapists thought I was being goofy blaming the shoes - no, a half in in heel height can really throw a person off.
That's my very long winded way of saying I have come to the point where I am glad when people try but I don't expect them to really get it.
Cool dent, btw - you have proof. And, great party trick.
Leaf x
Thanks Leaf those that dont have brain injury just dont understand and dont know how we struggle everyday. I had a friend move in with me a few years ago it started well enough but soon became a problem and I've not seen or spoke to him since he moved out before all the covid stuff started. I will always live on my own as thinking of others apart from my immediate support doesnt happen. Living with Brain injury is a very lonely existence but I dont mind that. My sister will always pass her judgement with anything and that's o.k that's her problem. My dent in my head is all the proof that I'll ever need to show others and yeah it's a cool trick to show Grandchildren
Hi. Although I have not experienced what you have. I have experienced the utter frustration at trying to get people to understand me. I don’t really remember the first two years after my TBI so needed to rely on what those closest to me said. Which was fine until my partner changed towards me and decided that he would tell me that I had just said or done something that I knew I hadn’t. So I would argue with him and he with me then he would turn around and say “ It’s your head injury and you can’t remember “
This was so infuriating as I know that I have memory problems along with other disabilities because of my injury. Yet to have him put words in to my mouth etc was ridiculous! It’s difficult enough trying to come to terms with life changing disabilities without having others adding to it.
Be it intentionally or unintentionally!
I hope that your sister one day comes to terms with what you have been through. Maybe her mind has locked those memories away because they are too painful for her to think about!
Trying to get people to understand something you cant explain properly is so annoying. Just because we look fine doesnt mean we are. It's not nice either way the things people do and say to some1 with brain injury will have a negative impact instantly I too have suffered that way thankfully not now I'm 15 years being on my own..sending best wishes to you thankyou for commenting 👍👍
I can understand your frustration even though I don’t have a brain injury but my daughter does. I was with her through the brain surgery, hospital appts and rehabilitation so I know what she went through and continues to go through. What I find frustrating is how some people think your life continues as it was before when your brain has been injured! It seems obvious to me that it is not something you just ‘get over’ - it is much more complex than that. I’ve found the only people who ‘get it’ are those who have worked with brain injury survivors or seen first hand the effects. I don’t say to people now about my daughter’s brain injury as I think I might just get annoyed by their reaction or lack of it (not their fault I suppose) but it’s how I feel. I’m glad for this forum too, as it’s somewhere I feel relief and can talk about it if I need to.
I've lived with my brain injury for 37 years and hidden my struggles all that time I hid it so well that no1 ever knew until 6 months ago what annoys me is how people are so quick to judge and ridicule someone with hidden disabilities or are different. I've spent since the age of 11 trying to fix and get back to how I was pre BI without success. Brain injury changes who you are and you cant do anything to stop that change we learn to adapt somehow to everything being different post BI I describe it as like living behind a glass wall and society family and friends dont see that wall it's not easy but we do survive sending best wishes to you and your daughter thanks for your comment 👍👍👍
I hope you get some relief from being on this forum and you’ll get continued support here. 37 years is a helluva long time to hide your struggles, so good for you for being able to get it out in the open after a lifetime of trying to fix things. Thanks for your kind words to me and my daughter and wishing you all the best too 👍🙂
It's been a long time in coming ive started to share my story via this forum its given me an understanding of all this I didnt understand sounds mad im no longer am I hiding thankgod 👍
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