Nurses having way too much fun

[169coronas]

I sit here next to my man who is still nonresponsive after a severe diffuse axonal injury. The laughter and screeches from the nurses station is absolutely ridiculous. Don't they realize that there are family members in their patients rooms that are living dark dreary and bleak lives right now? Don't they see their loud obnoxious laughter and carrying on can be seen as disrespectful and rude and uncalled for. And when alarms are going off like crazy you can't find a one.

[Kathykathy]

So sorry you are going through what you are, and I know exactly where you are coming from. At difficult times we need, respect and nurture not loud nurses showing none. I've had alot of medical issues and therefore exposure to alot of medical personnel, which whilst some may have the old traditional nurturing attitude unfortunately I've found them in the minority. The. Noise, chatting and laughing loudly even through the night has been in every hospital I've been in throughout the country. No senior nursing presence or protocols followed these days. I could write a book on what I've observed and should never be exposed to. Not dis respecting the good. Ones. Or under estimating some unpleasant jobs they have to do at times but standards in anything these days are out of the window. Would people stand in the middle of a funeral laughing and joking and chatting loudly I think not, so why less respect to the living fighting for their lives . Keep your chin up, hope you find some peace within a chaotic situation.

[169coronas in reply to Kathykathy]

Thank you so much

[Mads1975 in reply to Kathykathy]

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve experienced this. I feel that I must add that my experience of 4 months in hospital was made far easier by the nurses and doctors who cared for me and never treated me with anything other than respect. They saved my life when diagnosed with late stage TB Meningitis and I have the nurses and doctors of the Royal Sussex to thank for it

[Kathykathy in reply to Mads1975]

I'm so. Pleased you had such a good experience, as I'm sure many people have. Which hospital and the catchment area of staff makes a difference. I tried to word my post carefully and to not include all medical staff but I hope you will accept everyone's experience is different and does not invalidate those who have not been as lucky as you. My response was to comfort the original post lady that she was not alone she posted because her experience was negative and hurt.

[Hidden in reply to Kathykathy]

I remember getting kept in overnight on the respiratory ward after I had blood clots in my lungs back in 2017 and during the night the nurses had the radio on in the ward and there was a lady screaming because she was frightened!

[Mads1975]

I fully understand where the poster is coming from and I know I would feel the same way if I had experienced what she has.

I simply wanted to express my experience to add an alternative perspective

[Kind345]

I’m sorry you are feeling this way. I am a nurse for over 16yrs and also a person who suffered a head injury and is still recovering I can empathize. However, nursing is a stressful job and if the nurses find time to catch up, exchange laughter that is actually a good thing, as long as their patient needs are being met. This laughter and chatting you are referring to may have taken place during report exchange where the nurse leaving updates the incoming nurse on the assigned patients status. Many times we don’t even find time for a bathroom break. We are prone to UTI. We often give up our break times to do patient care, update family, documentation etc. Yes, I understand your frustration and can empathize. If you need a nurse’s attention go to them. We are approachable. They may tell you they are in the middle of report and ask if it’s non urgent to wait until they are done.

[Hidden in reply to Kind345]

Years ago I worked in a care home and they would do handover 15 mins before you were due to start work.

[169coronas in reply to Kind345]

Approachable????? Not this nurse!! She is the rudest person I've ever met!!

[Kind345 in reply to 169coronas]

You have the right to ask to speak with the charge nurse and if that fails take it to the nurse manager or director. No one should be treated this way and I am sorry this has added additional stress to you and your loved one

[0101]

It's not as kind as I would have hoped, or as sensitive. But many aren't. I hope you can be as prepared as you can for this. It is incredibly hard when you or someone you love need compassion and care, to have anyone act in a way not entirely aligned to that. It can almost seem deliberate and unthinking as the difference from what you all need is so stark. Let them carry on in their own worlds, and take the care from those who do give it, and do notice your suffering and want to support you. Keep strong. Don't let them deflect you from this, keep your strength and compassion for your self and your man.

It might be their compassion fatigue, but it's still not helpful.

I frequently had to go to find nurses at night, and found some playing on their mobiles, and they were very rude at being disturbed. I heard them talking about wanting the 'easy shifts' where they weren't bothered by pesky patients. Bells and cries for help would be ignored. The regular, day, non-agency nurses or on different shifts tended to be much better, and very different in how they delivered their duties. Those of us in the ward loved it when some nurses and doctors were on shift. We all knew the good ones, and the staff did too, remember that.

It used to be that anyone senior would by their presence, teach some less aware staff, that this is a place of healing, and that while laughter can help, it has to be sensitive to those who are vulnerable and under their care. That's you too. And some nurses have been the best people I've ever met, and they are as astounded as you are at their less sensitive, ruder or abrupt colleagues.

You are not alone, remember this, no matter how lonely it might feel at times.

Might be worth seeing if there's a chaplain or carer's support in the hospital? You don't have to be religious - they are there to provide support. And keep fighting if they're not helpful, ask someone else, and keep asking until you get the support you need.

Sending you warm wishes and the best of luck X

[Dogsabighelp]

welcome 169.you going through this stage which will pass...i would like to know more.im 8 month in now(my son has diffuse axonal also)you in right place to safely air your issuesx

[AlmaMatters]

I’m sorry you went through this, I totally understand how you feel. When I was in HDU after one of my embolizations I couldn’t sleep the entire night as the nurses had the radio on all night in the same room. I was too vulnerable and scared to ask them to turn it off, as many are when in hospital. The vibe of don’t bother us was very apparent.

Like many have said, there are some amazing nurses and yes it is a hard job but in my experience they were unfortunately in the vast minority. Everyone tends to think of them as saintly but wow I’ve experienced some truly awful ones more than the few amazing ones.