Less scared of dying after BI?: Anyone notice... - Headway

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Less scared of dying after BI?


Anyone notice themselves feeling less scared of dying after BI? I'm not sure if it is since my BI or if it was gradually going away with age. When I was younger I dreaded the day I will die. Now I'm like accepting it's going to happen one day and more curious to know what happens. Not in any way suicidal to find out just like get on with life til it happens.

It could be since my BI as I was in a serious car accident I was to some extent aware something had happened to me and felt no fear or frustration at all about not knowing or being able to ask anyone. There was at least one occasion when I couldn't breathe during the semi conscious state and I felt nothing that you would expect to feel no panic or anything it was just like I knew I couldn't do anything about it so just see what happens. Has anyone else had this happen?

12 Replies

Hi Keeley.

I think your acceptance of your mortality does develop with age.

Plus depending on how you aquired your bi also has an effect.

Surviving what could be a fatal accident does make you accept as well. I realised how lucky I was and also that life for others would have gone on. Strangely I was ok with this. I know I could have died.....But I didn't. One day I will and there is nothing I can do when this happens. The world will revolve without me so I am concentrating on living and I must admit do not think about dieing anymore.

It's a great release and it frees up more of your time on Ivinghoe.

Pax x

Yes, yes, yes! When I had my haemorrhage I was very close! I can never explain it, and the only way to explain it is total contentment! No worries, no fears, not even thinking about loved ones, which is hard to say but true, but not even worried about leaving them, or how they were coping! Total nothingness! It was bliss. In my head I got really angry with the doctors trying to save me, because they kept bringing me back to pain (seizures) and knowing ( or thinking) this is serious and i am never going to be the same! Just wanted to go back to that utter contentment and never to be bought out of that again! I was (in my head) begging to die, I was ready and liked it there. I hated the doctors and nurses for keep on dragging me back, and wished they would give up, and let me go. Of course I don't hate them now, or even shortly after

but yes, I am not afraid of actually dying, but maybe the suffering and pain before it comes!

During my brain haemorrhage I remember only the mental panic to pass on messages of love for my children before loss of consciousness robbed me of words. And then a fleeting acceptance I was dying.

Looking back now, it's a pretty convincing rehearsal, so there's an element of 'Been there, done that' (sort of) !

So yes, Keeley ; the absence of fear is the one and only after-effect I've no regrets about ........... xx 🌻🍃

in reply to cat3

Yes, when it first happened and before I was found and rushed to hospital, there was the desperation) during the times of consciousness) to try and get to the phone to say "I love you" and "goodbye" to my (what was then) boyfriend, (now husband)! 🙂

Yes, I had a near death experience. Absolutely no fear about death anymore. It was intensely wonderful being on what I'll call the other side. However, I'm back here and making the best of it, as apparently I'm not done here yet.

Glad its not just me.lol I am not bothered Wether I live or die. It seems like the fear of dying was blown away when my brain blow up.

I rether not die yet though lol

When youve been there youll find nothing scares you.

I was in a coma a week and had 1 (maybe 2) near death experience(s)

I am so glad I decided to actually really look around this site tonight because I thought besides my brain conditions I thought my lack of fear for dying was abnormal, now I know it's part and parcel so to speak , be happy.

Yes yes and absolutely yes. I was meant to die in my accident I believe (read my storey) but didn't lot happened since then over 2 years ago and no IO have come to accept that I wasn't the soul I was and thats freedom. Its so interesting you have brought this up keely as I completely agree with you, near death experiences let us look at our lives and what we have in them and we then discard the crap and keep whats important, well I did anyway.

As pax has said mortality is more accepted with age perhaps is because we get nearer that fateful day but acceptance is good and for me is part of LIFE.

Have a good day. Nick

I had exactly the same conversation with someone the other day. You eould expect to really panic if something bad was happening, but there seems to be a calm that comes over you. So nope, don't think I'm bothered any more.

I wasn't aware of having any near death experiences but was like somehow aware that this was closest to death I've been. Like I knew I couldn't do anything about anything so I'd just have to see what happened. Sort of like what's meant to happen will happen. I don't even know if I believe things happen for reason or if things happen when they are supposed to. The fact I felt no fear or at least don't remember feeling any probably helps.

What a great frank discussion, feeling mortal is both a humbling and beautiful thing. Its one of those feelings though that you cant really bring up in conversation, even as you say Bingbing75 and Keeley24 with family. I tell people how important they are to me as often as I can and I try to live each day passing on how precious the ability to express that is. Keep sharing the love....we are all testament to the power of that... and our remarkable brains.

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