Recommendation

Hi everyone, my wife suffered an with an seizure last whilst we were at a hospital appt at the start of last month, thankfully we were right next door to A&E so treatment was swift and it was found that she had an aneurysm. After sometime in surgery she spent time in ICU before getting a place straight away in rehab. We’re now in week 5 of rehab which is going well. Whilst I’m learning very fast this is a slow process every positive is definitely something to keep pushing across to my wife. Recently due to the COVID 19 restrictions and her condition improving she is becoming extremely emotional in regards to missing the family. I do find I can settle her down over the phone or FaceTime and reassure her she has so much support out here and she will get through this she every now and then has these rush of emotions to the point she started seeing coffins in her sleep. The team within the hospital are amazing and so patient, does anyone have any recommendations/ tips I can use, although I keep telling her she can contact me anytime or ask the staff to set up FaceTime when she’s feeling sad or at anytime she still believes she a hindrance to everyone.

[cat3]

It's a weird and testing time isn't it Colin, especially for in-patients and their families. It seems you're doing everything possible in reassurance and accessibility terms.

I can only assume your wife is suffering from delayed shock (or PTSD as it's now termed) owing to the suddenness of the diagnosis, the admission and surgery.

Perhaps some temporary medication, to see her through this time apart from you and other family, would be the kindest measure. Maybe have another word with her consultant ?

I hope your lady's peace of mind can be restored without too much delay. Best wishes, Cat x

[Hidden in reply to cat3]

Many thanks cat3 , today (fri) I get like a progress report from the rehab team hopefully this will give the opportunity to discuss the issue with someone , thanks for the response 👍

[cat3 in reply to Hidden]

Have the doctors given a timeframe for your wife's eventual discharge or is it a 'wait & see' situation ?

[Hidden in reply to cat3]

Really is a wait and see situation as she has a lot of potential for a good recovery and thankfully they won’t discharge anyone till they’ve achieved the best they can with a patient

[cat3 in reply to Hidden]

Look forward to your update Colin..... 😐

[Hidden in reply to cat3]

Thankfully my wife has been far better today since her meds have been adjusted, the last few days have been extremely emotional for everyone, what is becoming clearer everyday is are love for each other which grows more every day, I’m so thankful to have such a strong wife going through such a traumatic experience.

[cat3 in reply to Hidden]

What a heartwarming post Colin. And it's such good news hearing your lady is calmer since the meds have been adjusted.....must be such a relief for you.

I have vague, dream-like recollections of agitation during the critical weeks and learned much later that my mood changed literally overnight after a change of meds ; it's often tricky getting the treatment just right in the first couple of months after surgery as every patient is unique.

Let's hope this is the start of more positivity and optimism on all sides ! I truly hope this is the beginning of better days. Keep the updated coming m'love. Cat x

[TaIaV]

Your post exudes gratitude and love. Those are probably helping you greatly through your side of this. They cannot take away the emotions that your wife is feeling; time will need to so. Even a much less dangerous affliction sent my husband's mind into alarming thoughts of his own mortality and fear. The inability to do things makes time stretch out, giving dark thoughts space to settle in.

So part of my advice is to be accept that this is natural. The other part is a few options for what you might do to make it better.

- Don't always try to get her to stop feeling these things. Encourage and help her to express them. Keeping them bottled up can make people feel more alone. Acknowledge to her that the feelings are understandable and normal.

- Find some guided meditations that you can play for her about how to experience negative emotions while gaining distance from them, so that they do not upset her so much.

- Would they allow a stuffed animal in the facility? That may sound strange but having something soft to hug makes a very big difference in hospitals and other care facilities.

- Distraction. Particularly if the negative thoughts are obsessive. Her brain probably needs to rest, so the inputs she can receive may be limited. Do what you can within those limits. Show her beautiful photos.

- Affirmations. You may want to write down a series of affirmations: statements of positive facts and aspirations. For example: "I am loved. " "This is temporary." "I am needed." "Today is a bridge to good times ahead. " "I am strong and will thrive." Whatever you think. State these to her proactively; have her state them even when she is not feeling like they are so true. If you can send letters/cards, send one in each day with an affirmation. It could create a routine of something to look forward to.

We wish you the best. It sounds like she got fast great care. With that and your love, she will be her best self.

[Hidden in reply to TaIaV]

Thank you TalaV, at this time the wards are trying to keep everything to a minimum But they’ve just allowed me to get a cushion with a picture of are two dogs on which has definitely cheered my wife up and I’ve been assured it’s been cuddled and squeezed constantly, At this time we ( the family) have set up a group and post pictures and video's of are beautiful Granddaughter and other good events, Affirmations is definitely something I will try and something I hadn’t thought about so thankyou very much for this it’s appreciated.