Hello.

[Carer16]

Hi everyone. I hope it's ok to join here as I feel so limited in where to find people who live with brain injury.

I'm a carer to my husband.

He had a bleed on the brain following a shunt revision. It happened very suddenly and obviously the impact had been immense on our lives.

I feel that I'm getting there with finding help for his day to day needs but I'm really struggling to cope with my feelings.

Just wondered if this is the right place..any other carers out there that just find it hard to chat to people about how it affects you?

Thanks for listening x

[Froggiefrog]

Welcome.

I would suggest this is certainly a good place to look for input from those with similar experiences to yourself.

I am sure I and many others will be quick to point out that your well being as a carer is a very important topic. Being from the other side of the equation, I will leave those with the experience of caring for those with a brain injury to answer any specific questions you have, but I hope the input you receive will be helpful.

Trust me, to those with neurological issues, be they from birth, or through trauma, carers and loved ones are our heroes.

K

[cat3]

Hello and welcome Carer16. You've found a safe place to share your thoughts & feelings ; Headway is a lifeline for so many people, both survivors of brain injury and the loved ones who care for them.

I had a brain haemorrhage, but since joining the forum 7 years ago I've come to appreciate that, although life after a brain injury is life-changing for survivors, it's the carers whose lives are disrupted and tested the most.

Maybe you could also phone the Headway helpline for extra support & advice on freephone 0808 800 2244 during office hours.

Hope you get to talk with other carers here m'dear.

Best wishes, Cat x

[sue-66]

You need someone to talk to, my partner had his tbi April 2017 and is still having physio and other therapies. He also had a cardiac arrest at the scene and this affected his memory over the last 15/20 years. If I feel tired or stressed, then I find his repeated, constant questioning draining, which in turn, can get me down, life is hard, but I love him and can usually adapt to how life is, but this last few months, I have been talking to a therapist myself, life is stressful and we have to find time for ourselves.

Life isn't the same, but we do try and enjoy it in a different way, to how we did. X

[guitarlady]

Hi, thought I'd reply as I'm in a similar situation but with my friend Andy. He collapsed and fell into the road outside his house in April this year. He got taken to Southmead hospital after scans at my local hospital. He has 2 weeks in ICU in a induced coma and then over the next 2 weeks was bought out slowly.

This was a big shock to me as in the morning he was fine and we walked my dogs - then this happened. The hospital were brilliant. So when he came back home, he has no family and only a nephew close by, we had some support from a team who see you on your return home. He could speak o.k. but had damage to his right ear from the fall and a infection in it which he came home with.

So I chased for a home doctors visit and got that so he had antibiotics to clear it up. I got him Meals on Wheels Mon-Fri and got a chemist to deliver all his meds in a dosset box incase he couldn't sort them out himself.

I've found it very tiring having to wait and chase people for months to get things to help him in place. I know there are a lot of people wanting help, but you think of yourself first.

I have no close family either but have got a few dog walking friends in the park and they ask how things are going which is nice. In the early days I used to swear all the time about how long things were taking and how it seems no one cares once he was out of hospital.

I love this site though. I was looking for somewhere thinking there must be a place where other people who have the same injury as my friend go, I've learnt so much about other carer's and also how the injury can affect people.

We have a Headway group but it's about 25 miles away and my friend wouldn't be capable to get himself there so we haven't gone. I haven't found too much locally but have asked on my local Facebook page and a few people have kindly come back with suggestions on tea mornings and activities being run which we're looking at. He's going to one this morning from 10 - 2 and they do dinner too.

I've now got a social worker onboard, after 6 months, who is very nice. My friend can wash himself and walk o.k. so isn't able to get their home care but would if things change in the future. We have just got a shopping visit, twice a month, through a company called Curo, who are monitored by social services. We have to pay for it but they have different levels of support. The don't do cleaning just support to help the person get some independence back.

My friend does get tired most days and finds it hard to accept he's changed and just wants to go back to how he was. So we still have arguments about things but are still friends!

Luckily I'm semi retired so haven't had a job to worry about, think I'd have probably got sacked by now anyway!!

Anyway, I hope you stay on this site and ask lots of questions, I've had nothing but helpful replies.

Best wishes, Brenda

[Marnie22]

I am not a carer, I have an ABI myself, but I want to say welcome. I am sure you will benefit from joining. Everyone is very helpful and friendly. It is good to have others to share with.

[ghost_writer]

Hello and welcome. I'm also quite new to this but I had a TBI when I was very young and almost died but life goes on. The people around me have been very helpful and supportive. For me, a wife is a great blessing and cares so much for me. I am sure that things are not easy for her and likewise not easy for you either but I hope things get better. The main thing that I would suggest however is to not give up and as my wife tells me, not to keep everything inside and to share with your husband. Wishing you and your husband well in future