I'm new to all this and wanted to say hello!

Had a TBI two years ago after being attacked. Developed Hydrocephalus and recently had a shunt fitted but not all is rosy :(

My girlfriend says I lack empathy which I recognise but can't seem to change. This is really difficult as at times I feel my life is effectively over so need any tools I can get my hands on to help me through those times.

Anyway, enough of my rambling! Time to read all the stuff I've downloaded and try and remember it!

11 Replies

  • Hi Shaun, welcome to the forum where you will get lots of help. I suggest you get in touch with Headway and ask them to send you information for your girlfriend, they have leaflets for friends and families. It is very hard to get used to the change in a loved one after a bi, it takes a lot of patience. Try to get her onto here to talk to other partners of those with bi as it will help her to understand quite a lot and reading posts from those with a brain injury might help her to understand the situation better from your point of view.

    Good luck.

  • Hello there Shaun and welcome,

    Good idea to ring Headway up. A lot of people with b.i. find themselves in the same position as yourself. Trouble is we don't get to talk to each other so much which is why a forum like this is a great idea.

    I know that this is difficult for both of you in your different ways so draw on as much support both of you as you can.

    Keep talking here it is a great help, you will realise it isn't "just you"

    Best wishes


  • Welcome yes do give Headway a call,they can also put you both in touch with support in you're local area.

  • Thank you for your replies and kind words. It's good to know I'm not alone. Though it feels like it :( I called Headway and they suggested joining here first. I am looking for support in Cardiff so if anyone knows of it please let me know.

  • Hi Shaun, I experienced a TBI in 2014 which permanently changed my brain & to some extent my personality.

    It is a challenge to accept you'll never be the same person you were before your brain was reconstructed but if you pursue it you'll achieve it. I've found it important to be busy whether it's walking, volunteering or simply exercising my brain.

    Good luck with it.

  • Thanks! Yes keeping busy is a must. I got a dog three weeks ago and he is helping e! What other tools do they have to help at Headway?

  • I have luckily had my dog for 11 years so he was crucial for my first year. Headway are renowned for their info leaflets & offer good phone service & local support groups. You should be able to find out your closest group on their website.

    I was pleased to be able to raise them £1,700 when I bashed the Pennine Way for them. Unfortunately my old dog couldn't cope with my pace so I did it on my own😃

    Good luck with whatever you pursue.

  • Eerrrmm gosh, you ask for help so you know it's happening, that's a MASSIVE step forward. I think it must of been 4-5 years for me and that's when I knew I did it. Couldn't help it even then. It was only 6 months ago I could stop it ( if I wanted to ) does come useful at times 😂 Any way that was 6 months ago after seeing a clinical psychologist for a YEAR . It doesn't come back easy.

  • Yeah and like others have said I got a dog too a year after my crash, that help. He gives me love with no judgement. He doesn't made my silly tongue going off cause my brain doesn't think. He was the best thing I did. The papers call him the hero dog !!!!!!!! Xx

  • Mind

  • Welcome :)

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