hello

[Steveau]

I guess like everyone else, I spend a lot of time every day, wishing I could communicate with someone else that understands what having a TBI is like, in order to talk about stuff and give and receive advice. Mostly to talk about things other people don’t understand because they’re not experiencing it.

[cat3]

I guess it's easiest for folk to assume 'What you see is what you get' when assessing others. And we, as brain injury survivors, often strive to appear capable and in control, so don't do ourselves any favours, needs-wise.

But it's hard for both ourselves and those close to us when, outwardly, we're the same, but so, so changed within. The protectiveness from others can wear thin once we've proven ourselves as able to function ; no one's fault really.

My son and daughter are sensitive to my issues and despite work, families etc., they're in touch daily and would be here in a heartbeat if needed. But it's only here on Headway where I feel it's ok to drop the 'OK' act and talk freely....

We're always here to talk & listen, Steve.

Cat, x

[Steveau in reply to cat3]

It’s a frustrating day to day existence.

Can’t keep explaining yourself . There’s no energy for that.

Don’t even know what to expect from talking to other sufferers.

Just know that professional help that I’ve had in the past was not very successful for me. And I had a lot.

Just going through one of those cycles where I’m seeking something to help as things are not going well.

[cat3 in reply to Steveau]

Can you describe your main issues ? For example, I struggle with conversation owing to short term memory damage (not a problem here as I don't need to keep anyone waiting !) And mobility can be exhausting owing to balance/coordination issues.

You do seem really down Steve, and I wonder if you have medication to improve your mood. For me an antidepressant helps massively in terms of motivation (although it's especially hard during the dark winter months).

What specific issues do you feel are bringing you down ? ...and do you have family/friends around ?

[Steveau in reply to cat3]

Thanks.

I do have medication that helps. I get overwhelmed quickly and suddenly with certain circumstances some of which are very hard to avoid.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place ……

It’s impossible to talk about it at home, or it feels as such mostly.

Sleeping is becoming difficult ( again).

I just get overcome with a very unsettling feeling at night.

I think it’s just a part of not feeling competent or confident with daily challenges.

[cat3 in reply to Steveau]

Just looking in before bed & found your reply. 1.35am now so I'll get back to you later m'love.....

[cat3 in reply to cat3]

What type of medication are you taking Steve .....and do you have anything to help with sleep ? I'm thinking that the unsettling feeling you have might need looking at in more detail..

Loss of certain abilities can be frustrating if there are no alternatives to satisfy our need to feel useful and competent.

You know you can talk about anything here..... x

[Steveau in reply to cat3]

Yes. I’ve had sleeping tablets before. I think I’ll see about getting some again.

When you’re sat in front of a Doctor it can be hard to narrow down and think of what needs to be said to get help, because when you need to see the Doctor you’re in a mess mentally anyway.

I’m on the right medication. It’s Sertraline. Just enough to have an effect is what I need. It’s a mid dosage. I get help from also being very active physically too.

[cat3 in reply to Steveau]

Keep talking. I fought against talking therapies for decades 'til I was referred to someone with the knack of getting me talking and working through issues for myself.

Together with an SSRi, it came in handy in routing out some of the darker thoughts that come with the drastic changes from brain injury.

And it's so true that exercise, walking especially, is so important for physical and mental wellbeing. 🙂x

[Steveau in reply to cat3]

Thanks.

In the past I felt the talking therapies were difficult for me.

I couldn’t remember what had been said for example.

I remember being encouraged to keep a diary by several different people. I never had the energy to do this. They were always so pushy about this diary thing. Like it was the answer to all my problems.Even now I couldn’t. Just sitting and thinking what to put in it is not something I would want to do. There would be things I would write that I would wish I hadn’t.

Other things too that were not successful were suggested.,

This is much better.

Just a few conversations on here feels already more beneficial than a talking therapy to me.

[cat3 in reply to Steveau]

Good to hear that......

There's no pressure on this forum ; no demands, just camaraderie and empathy without judgement. Hope you'll stay around Steve..😐x

[skydivesurvivor]

hi! Agree strongly! They need to reopen day centres!! Somewhere safe for us all to socialise? Live in hope, keep safe n carry on?!!

[Nemo24]

Do you have a local Headway group you could meet? Mine does online chats as well as face to face. They have been so good to talk to as they understand straight away and you don't need to explain how symptoms make you feel in depth.

[Steveau in reply to Nemo24]

Thanks. It’s a bit far for me.

If I was any good at social media I’d try and get some local people to meet up for chats somewhere.

[Chelle3069 in reply to Steveau]

Not sure where you are, but I'd be quite willing to meet up for a coffee. It would be good to meetup with others that might get how I am. If possible get a few others together

[Steveau in reply to Chelle3069]

I am in Essex near to Stansted Airport.

[PurpleOverlord in reply to Steveau]

I'm near Cambridge, so we're not that far from each other. I'd love to get together some day for tea and cake and a chat about this weird world we live in. I'm sure we could round up a few other folk on here too!

[Hidden]

I totally understand you and agree with you wishing there was someone who could understand what it's like to have had a TBI.

[Steveau in reply to Hidden]

Hello.

Thanks.

It’s easy to get totally confused isn’t it, and zone out.

I still get overwhelmed with too many people, loud noises. Trouble following conversations.

I’ve probably gone of track here, but I just said something that was in my head to reply to you with.

Hope you’re having a good day

[Hidden]

I am totally the same with loud noises, at times following conversations and I get confused with somethings I want to say, so have to wait a few minutes to then remember what I'm going to say. I also get emotional at times but lately not as much as I did and I still get frustrated and lose my temper then regret what I have done. Hope you're having a good day too.

Lisa.