Newbie

[Jasonmarkb]

Hi I suffered a acute subdural haemotoma 3 years back and I really struggle with anxiety and depression since then. I also turned to drink and I'm worried that il never b able to banish my issues. Does anyone else have this problem?

[randomphantoms]

Hi Jason and welcome.

I think most of us have been there to some extent and many of us will vouch for the value of counselling.

It sounds like you are trapped in the false belief that "recovery" means getting back to being who you were 3 years ago.

I hate to break it to you but it just isn't possible. Even without the brain injury you would have lived and experienced things and changed in that time.

Learning to accept the "new you" as many of us have described the changes we experience is probably the first and biggest achievement in getting your new life going.

Just recently I found myself turning to alcohol and called time on that because I know it won't help.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

[Jasonmarkb in reply to randomphantoms]

Thanks for your reply . I'm really still struggling to process wats happened to me. The drink has not helped in fact it's just cost me my relationship and a holiday with my ex that I was really looking forward too . She didnt get my issues . I feel not many do so I pretend I'm ok most of the time . I'm not sure if I want to be here at all anymore

[randomphantoms in reply to Jasonmarkb]

Please please ask for help. At the very least give the Headway helpline a call

0808 800 2244 free phone number.

[Jasonmarkb in reply to randomphantoms]

I am seeing a councillor and looking to join a support group . I've been pretending I'm ok for too long . Time to act i think b4 things get worse

[randomphantoms in reply to Jasonmarkb]

Ring headway tomorrow. At least they can tell you where the nearest headway group is.

Glad to hear that you are beginning to give up the pretending to be OK.

[WinB]

Jason we survived this so we are survivors,

Please do not give up so easy..life does get better but we are in it for the long haul ..Drink is bad for us so suggest you start on the water and leave the booze alone. Remember there is a life after a brain bleed albeit slightly different. I had an SAH4 along with complications and was out of it for just under a year. Singing my Families songs and not listening to others worries helped me through this. Did nothing for families ears in though !! ..happy thoughts and getting better and what Random said..Get some help xxx You are not alone xxx

[Jasonmarkb in reply to WinB]

Thankyou. We are survivors I'm not giving up. I'm using some coping strategies I stopped doin. I just seem to plummet wen things go wrong NowThis time it was split from girlfriend. Things like that seem to affect me so much more than before. I should be dead so I've gotta make the most of my 2nd chance!

[Hidden in reply to Jasonmarkb]

Dear Jasonmarkb

Really well done for sharing your issues on here. This is a great place. Out brain injuries Are complex, as you know. In one way the booze might feel like it smoothes anxiety temporarily. Helping us forget, be more social, relax, etc... But as we need more sleep/rest, energy etc boozing just makes us more fatigued and stressed etc... I have made this mistake too often. Usually because: I get so lonely, can't cope with life events, things build up inside. Underlying these points are me drinking because I am already over tired and not thinking things through clearly, hormone imbalances in my brain due to my injuries affecting the way I think as well as me simply making bad choices at times. In this post I have referred to my drinking in the present tense because I think it's best to consider it as ongoing. After all it is a learnt behaviour that can be slipped back into. But to be true it is something that I don't do now. I stopped drinking excessively because I now have a fuller life and a great woman whom I dont want to distress. I didn't get here without many ups and downs. Many times I thought I could never have a partner because of my injury ( a long story). I was so wrong. I would have the extra drink even if I wasn't enjoying myself because I had nothing to go home to. Drink is not relief for anything really it's just a blind alley the leads us down a hole. It's harder to get out than get in. But it can be done for sure. Basically I look at it as part of my brain is the patient and part of my brain is the carer. The carer part needs to be objective about how the rest of me is acting and why. It's an itch I don't feel the need to scratch anymore. My story might not be like yours, I don't know, but I hope reading it helps. Good luck.

[Jasonmarkb in reply to Hidden]

Yeah I know the drink doesn't help. I've already cut down massively in the last week. I've also started playing badminton again so I'm taking steps. Too late for my relationship but I think I need to sort my own issues out b4 I get serious with anyone else

[Hidden in reply to Jasonmarkb]

U

i would love to play badminton again. Good luck.