help supporting my son

[bruno2008]

my son tried to commit suicide and now has short term memory loss through hypoxia how best can I support him as he has very little recollection of the past 2 years

[Danger19]

Hello my lovely,

Your situation breaks my heart my friend. I only had my brain injury in January and then a friend of mine hung himself at the beginning of March, I had known him since I was 13 but I never saw it coming. The whole situation destroyed me for a short time but as a mother I can't imagine the pain you must have been through when you first discovered your son attempted to take his own life. As a nurse, before I specialised I worked A&E, I cared for a number of individuals who had attempted to take their own lives. It's heart breaking for any family to experience, you try to understand why, you blame yourself and it's hard to imagine or plan a future. What you must remember is you are not to blame for this and you are doing your best to support and help your son go forward. Unfortunately hypoxia can have a massive effect on an individual's memory, concentration, co-ordination and a lot of other human abilities and his lack of recollection could simply be connected to that. I'm sure that you are doing everything possible to help your son. As a parent I know that we would do anything for our children. If he were my patient, I would tell you that as long as you offer support, understanding and plenty of love there is not a lot more you can do. As long as he knows you are there, you forgive him for anything negative he may have done in the past, you will support him through everything he struggles with but above all that you love him more than life itself - you can't go wrong with that my love!

I wish you and your family peace, happiness, good health and wnole lot of luck,

Vikki

[bruno2008 in reply to Danger19]

thankyou so much for your kind words xx

[cat3]

Bruno, I can imagine very few situations worse than yours. Can you tell us of any other symptoms your son has since his hypoxic injury (such as emotional issues....mobility problems.... headaches etc.?)

The short term memory loss is a classic symptom of brain injury and memories lost are usually lost forever, but memory games, crosswords, puzzles, repetitive actions...…...anything which stretches the mind or reinforces memories...… can help to encourage plasticity and improve brain function.

It's good you've found Headway ; we're always here...….. Cat x

[bruno2008 in reply to cat3]

my son has short term memory loss , he does get tired easily and struggles to show emotion. he does have full mobility but gets really frustrated that he cant remember anything over the last 2 years and often rings me after we have visited to ask if I'm coming to see him today as hed forgot we had been . we have a memory book where everyone writes in if we have been to see him however he said this is frustrating as it says someone has been but he cant remember.

[cat3 in reply to bruno2008]

Bruno, does your son remember his suicide attempt, and does he have any antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication ? I ask because continual stress can be detrimental to memory & concentration...…….

in addition to the damage caused by the Hypoxia.

The anger and frustration is a natural response to sudden memory problems and something most of us here have had to manage in our own ways. Accepting any change which impacts on daily life is a lengthy process and, because it feels so unfair but with no one to blame, so there's usually a knock on effect for everyone around.

It's clear you're worried for your son and want to make life easier for him but there's only limited help you can give in practical terms, such as electronic and manual reminders. But your love and support is invaluable..…….even if it doesn't feel like it at times.

With more time but, most importantly, acceptance and a fresh look at how to make the best of a difficult situation, your son can have quality of life.....……although a slightly different one.

Wishing you all better days ahead. Cat x

[Kavib]

This must be difficult for you and him. I also suffer from short term memory loss and I was referred through the hospital to their neuropsychology department. I have been going there for 3 years now and I have improved so much, also the dr gave me ways/ tools to adapt to help with my memory loss which has helped me for day to day routines.

It’s been a huge help and change for me and my family. Even my family have had sessions to help understand the situation. Hope this helps x