Advice needed

[Sodes]

Thank you for the response for my last post. Cat here has been of great help. This is kinda long post. I apologise for the same. I hope people here don't mind.

As you all know my mother has suffered from subdural haemotoma and underwent surgery for the same around 8 weeks ago. She is now conscious and has regular sleep cycles. Still has feeding tube through her nose but takes some food through her mouth.(it all depends on her mood.if she wants it she eats it, if no then no). We still don't know if she can recognize us and has all her memories. She tries to talk.sometimes it's relevant, sometimes it's not, sometimes it's clear sometimes it's gibberish that we cannot understand. We think that she can understand what we are talking to her but we aren't too sure about it.

Although when the doctors visit her, she has conversation with them in clear words and answers relevantly to their question. That's also confusing for us because she doesn't do that with us.

Two days ago she started telling the doctors that she's bored of being in one room here in the hospital and wants to go home. Saying that she started crying. Doctors say that it's small but positive sign that she is understanding her boredom. Also today when she talked to her mother over the phone she started crying. ( We think that she remembered her). My dad was not here in the hospital for two days and she became so agressive. Literally tried to hit and kick my sister while screaming. But once my dad talked to her over the phone she was calm and laughing all along. Also when he came back today she hugged him and started crying asking him why did he do this to her?

My assumption is that she remembers my dad and her mother. But her behavior is so confusing for us. Does she remember us? Does she understand us?

Doctors say there are willing discharge her next week and she can go home because neuro Rehabilitation can happen at home and the environment there might spark her recovery and memory. Right now we play her favorite songs and my sisters marriage videos to her. She stares at them. We don't know if she sees them or she is even able to see them!

Is there anything else we can do to that she can recover faster? Has anyone gone through these stages? Was there a recovery from this? Will it happen!

[cat3]

I'm surprised the doctors feel your mum will be fit for discharge next week if eating is still an issue and she remains confused. I wasn't allowed discharge until I could eat proper meals, do simple arithmetic, walk unaided and make tea and toast. I'm not clear as to whether your mum is now mobile ? And if she's in a single room could she be moved to a ward with other patients ?

I know hospital practices differ, but I'm thinking of the care issues when your mum is away from the 24/7 care of specialist staff. Aftercare for brain injury is notoriously thin on the ground and unless something meaningful is being put into place I'd be wary of bringing your mum home without a definite care plan.

In her confused state she'll need round the clock care and such care can be exhausting for whoever takes on the role. I don't mean to sound negative but, for both the patient and the carer, returning home is a hefty milestone, even when the patient is mentally aware and physically able.

I know from my son & daughter how distressing it is seeing a parent agitated and angry with such an alien situation and their desire to escape, but you need, as a family, to assess whether it's safe for your mum to return home just yet.

I'm so happy to hear how your mum is progressing but, not knowing the full facts of your situation and with the poor levels of aftercare right now, I'd hate for you all to struggle unnecessarily.

Cat x

[Lynd in reply to cat3]

I couldn't agree more.

On the one hand I was delighted to have my husband home but feel let down by the rehab unit as they well and truly LET me down by not making sure I had a care plan in place.

You are on your own once a patient is home so don't entertain the idea until care plan is set in stone.

Hope all goes well.

[steve55]

i hate to say this, but they just want to get rid of her.

speak to the hospital social worker to find out what care package they are going to put in place for your mum and refuse to have her home until that is in place.

thinking about it, this is far too early for to be coming home.

[WinB]

Hiya Sodes,

They wanted me in a home and my hubby said "No We'll take her home with us" phew I played the OT's up as for some reason in my Water logged brain they were rough with me. Or was it my brain????

Have they tested Mum for hydrocephalus? as I remember nothing in hospital I came home talking jibberish , still do lol, Sometimes fell asleep. Had shunt fitted and remember my 2 dogs jumping on me. Also surroundings looked different it takes time and patience with us as we can play up sometimes. I look back on my time of not knowing and I have done well since the told me I'd never walk and say goodbye to the Mum I once was etc etc.

600 yards in walking and still have a laugh and cry. My short term memory is awful but I am alive and with my Family so life is good. I can only give you my opinion and what happened to me also I was saying tell Dad I'll be up to see him when well, he died in 1999.

Agrees with the post about hospital getting things in place before she comes home. I got better for being at home but that was me xx Good luck to you all xxx off to shops now xx