Just Musing

[Kirk5w7]

Saturday morning and ruminating on my inactivity.

Why arent there more useful hours in the day?

You go to bed with all good intentions for tge next day, then wake up and Surprise! Those good intentions disappeared overnight.

I have trouble getting moving in the morning during the winter i often have to start the day with a hot bath, and i mean hot, no cold water added, and the actions needed to execute that, then dry and dress myself means i then need a 20 min rest to recover from the exertion.

A shower isnt as good but takes less out of me.

Last summer was brilliant, it was so warm for so long, I, and many more of us im sure, need that to be repeated this year. I cant go and live in another country, family ties are too great.

I am sitting here cup of tea in hand wondering if i ought to run that bath, but its 9.50 already, i wouldnt be ready for action til around 11 if i do that, and then it starts going dark at around 4.30 so only 5 and a half useful hours.

What rubbish i spout at times, i need to get a grip.

My husband retired at the end of last year, so now im the one having to wake us in the mornings, i was looking forward to no alarm clock but i think it’ll have to be reinstated!

Such awful dilemmas to have!!!!

Just my musings as i said, thanks for reading.

😘 Janet

[swedishblue]

I sleep an average 6.5 hours overnight which is better than it was. Mornings are difficult to motivate unless I'm on a mission; appointments, etc, but moving slowly. This morning I woke at 6 am, drank a cuppa in bed and afterwards, had a tepid bath. Too hot, I'd probably stay in longer. There, I listened to a Radio 4 interview with Kelly Holmes, who's written a book entitled 'Mindset, fitness & nutrition for positive wellbeing'. It looks like a good read for me. Having been super-fit pre- SAH, I do struggle with keeping up a positive mindset, especially in winter. If only the grey clouds would part and we could feel the sun. I think its worsened with age this crave for sunshine and natural warmth. I should give up living in the northern hemisphere in winter months. Janet....you are not alone. We're all here feeling sluggish. Keep walking on!! x

[Kirk5w7 in reply to swedishblue]

Hi Swedish, thanks for the reply. I cant get into those motivarional writings of celebrities and sports people. I cant seem to think they have any relevance to my life.

Dont get me wrong if it works for them then great but i cant justify to myself why they should think a book, which helps line their pockets, can make my life better.

I have no trouble at all motivating myself, most of the time, and if it wasnt for my brain injury my body wouldnt let me down.

Sorry that sounds really bad doesnt it, just as i couldnt feel very bad for Andy Murray yesterday, i get that he’s devastated but his life isnt over, hes got plenty money to help him build his future, he’ll be fine.

Theres lots of people like us quietly getting on with things, the support i get from people on this forum means so much more than anything else. Thank you everyone you are real heroes x

Janet

[swedishblue in reply to Kirk5w7]

I do in part agree with your thoughts on celebs and sports people pushing their books. But what I don't lose sight of is the background/upbringing of some who have fought hard, tooth and nail, for how they've gotten to be champs. Take Kelly - a longterm chronic sufferer of depression and mental health. She has achieved greatness and strength from her army career and in athletics. I'd never paid much heed to her before but hearing her interview, was a revelation. And the book sounds great. You can read excerpts on Amazon. Since my SAH I keep a dogged determination and HOPE things will get better even though I'm realistic about the chances. But the very word and concept of 'Hope' keeps me going.

As for Andy Murray, I have zilch sympathy for him! What's happened to sportsmen who cry and blubber in public?!!! Get a grip!!

[Kirk5w7 in reply to swedishblue]

Exactly, i said to my daughter “ is he a man or a mouse?”

J

[bexx87 in reply to Kirk5w7]

Both of you need to look at good charlotte lifestyles of the rich and famous on you tube or look at the lyrics :

S

Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous

Good Charlotte

In this 2002 punk pop song, Good Charlotte takes shots at whiny celebrities, and the media fixation

Good Charolette is rich and famous, complaining about rich and famous people

[Verse 1]

Always see it on T.V., or read in the magazines

Celebrities who want sympathy

All they do is piss and moan, inside the Rolling Stone

Talking about how hard life can be

[Pre-Chorus]

I'd like to see them spend a week, living life out on the street

I don't think they would survive

If they could spend a day or two walking in someone else's shoes

I think they'd stumble and they fall, they would fall (fall)

[Chorus]

Lifestyles of the rich and the famous

They're always complaining

Always complaining

If money is such a problem

Well they got mansions, think we should rob them

[Verse 2]

Well did you know when you were famous you could kill your wife

And there's no such thing as 25 to life

As long as you've got the cash, to pay for Cochran

And did you know if you were caught and you were smoking crack

McDonald's wouldn't even want to take you back

You could always just run for mayor of D.C

[Pre-Chorus]

I'd like to see them spend a week, living life out on the street

I don't think they would survive

If they could spend a day or two walking in someone else's shoes

I think they'd stumble and they fall, they would fall (fall)

[Chorus]

Lifestyles of the rich and the famous

They're always complaining

Always complaining

If money is such a problem

Well they got mansions, think we should rob them

[Instrumental Interlude]

They would fall

[Hook]

You got so many problems, I think I can solve them

Lifestyles of the rich and famous

We'll take your clothes, cash, cars, and homes, just stop complaining

Lifestyles of the rich and famous

Lifestyles of the rich and famous

We'll take your clothes, cash, cars, and homes, just stop complaining

Lifestyles of the rich and famous

Lifestyles of the rich and famous

We'll take your clothes, cash, cars, and homes, just stop complaining

Lifestyles of the rich and famous

Produced By

Eric Valentine

Written By

Tim Armstrong, Joel Madden & Benji Madden

Release Date

September 9, 2002

[StrawberryCream]

I’m with you with this Janet! I find it really impossible to get started on anything so things don’t get done, and then it all builds up and I then feel so overwhelmed that it’s too much to even begin to tackle anything!! Have tried the planning in small tasks but nope the ‘getting started’ is an impossible first step!! I have increasingly been developing painful physical ?joint problems and fibromyalgia. Prior to my life threatening illness I was a very busy and active person. Now I feel every year of my age and more!! I am stiff with the fibromyalgia in the mornings but I know that walking loosens me up. However, I now have extreme pain in my right hip, left knee and right shoulder which gets worse if I walk for 30 minutes or more. Then the pain becomes so great that I can’t walk up even a slight incline, up the doorstep or stairs! Made worse because it’s a joint on either side so I can’t put a best foot forward! The pain becomes so great it make me leg feel like a dead weight and throbs but also my foot becomes numb! I love to walk and it’s also my escape when my 13yr old is being difficult because of his own problems. Have had xrays and being referred for a skeletal assessment. When I have the severe pain (almost daily) it stops my brain from thinking about my walking and I am falling more. My brain can’t multi task so can’t deal with the pain and my balance and walking! I so do get and can empathise with your struggles Janet! xx

[Kirk5w7 in reply to StrawberryCream]

Hi Caroline. I make daily to do lists that get carried over to the next day if not done, i probably should make weekly lists but then i suppose they could stretch into monthly lists!! Oh for tge super organised, no nonsense person i was. Wouldnt have to deal with all this frustration then. Oh well, character building i suppose, thing is at 66 i think ive got all the character i need!!!!

Take care

Janet x

[StrawberryCream in reply to Kirk5w7]

You have made me chuckle because our old selves were very similar being organised doers!!! Yes it does increase the frustration considerably because the ‘me’ now falls way short of how I used to be!! Sounds like that is spot on how it is for you as well!? I turned 60 this week and will start getting my nhs pension!! Because of my lads difficulties, any oomph I have gets drained trying to deal with all the problems surrounding him. I certainly don’t want to, and actually couldn’t, repeat the past year+ of him being out of school for a year and being very ‘escalated and volcanically angry’! All the battles I had to fight for him with NHS and LA totally drained me leaving not an ounce of ability to manage the other aspects of our daily living lives!!! Thankfully he is now settling into a therapeutic school but ....... he’s now a hormonal adolescent who is as tall as me and getting taller!! I thought I would still be a young sprightly almost pensioner but how life can be changed in an instant through no fault or doing of our own!!!

Best wishes for less frustrations in 2019!

Caroline x

[cat3]

Why aren't there more useful hours in the day ? Oh Janet you've raised a sore point with me as I only came to life at 1pm today after sleeping for 12 hours. In mitigation, I've had three weeks of sleepless nights (Congested & coughing) followed by a three day banging headache, so guess it was much needed.

I really do empathise though with the effects of daylight deprivation ; it's a recipe for depression and lethargy. I always used to (pre BI) have a project ready for the winter which, once started HAD to be finished……...the last one was my attic conversion which took me exactly 4 months, so winter passed unnoticed.

Now, with limited energy and motivation (not to mention age) those days are numbered. But I do what my body permits & try to be kind to those around me, then make best use of the long summer days. I doubt that hibernating creatures feel guilty about 'not doing enough' after snoozing the winter away...……. 😏 At least we're on the right side of Christmas now and days can only get lighter !

Look forward to seeing you before too long m'love…… Take care, E. xxx

[Kirk5w7]

What a treat, love to hear from you Eileen, hope that cough and cold has been kicked into touch at last.

Take care, and yes we are on the right side of Christmas, soon be Spring.

J

[BaronC]

Yep, I know the feeling. Though, to be honest, I find it tricky to motivate myself at any time of day. I've been meaning to make a new film for about a month now and just can't be arsed to talk into a camera! I am the exact opposite however in that I find it much easier to function in the cold weather, my body hates heat )how we did that walk in tropical heat is beyond me!)

[Kirk5w7]

I think i did most of that walk in autopilot mode, one foot in front of the other and just sheer determination, and not a blister in sight.

I find it difficult to keep warm in n this weather because my skin is so sensitive, it feels like its on fire, and that doesnt make me warm, when i put heavier clothing or more than one layer on, or if the item is a bit too snug. Ive found a light weight fleece by Uniqlo isnt too bad.

I saw the neurologist from the rehab centre this week he is still in awe of that walk, he calls me his celebrity! Bless him. He is not discharging me yet, i think he's still interested to see how far i can progress or even if i get this PRES again , i was the 2nd he’d come across and he’s had a 3rd since but ive recovered the best. He did say “please dont get this again”.

Well today starts the training regime for this year, back to swimming its too wet outside for walking today.

Have a good Sunday, we’ll catch up again soon.

Janet x

[bexx87]

Hugs janet xx I wish I could have a bath I love baths but I only have a flat as stupid as this may sound which is something I never thought I would hear my self says is I'm loving being signed off as I get to focus on just me and not have to be thinking of what I have to do the next day and it makes sense why when I came home I would collapse with exhaustion but even the smallest things now like a shower of watching TV has me exhausted and I don't need a alarm as my body is so amazing fined tuned over the 18 years I will automatically fall asleep around 10pm abd naturally wake up between 6-9 am

[Kirk5w7 in reply to bexx87]

Hi Bexx

I read all your posts, you have been having a time of it, but putting all your thoughts down like that must help some.

I have a journal where most of my frustrations go, but it do like the contact i get from others who understand how my brain now works.

Hugs back to you twofold.

Janet x

[bexx87 in reply to Kirk5w7]

Awww thank

I have 11 pages on the topic I call personalised feel good stuff with topics likes:

Good though quotes

Self care activities

TV program to pick me up (and a color code so I know what channel they are on)

Songs and artists to pick me up

Pubs, clubs and cafes I like

Shops i likes visiting

Volunteering centres i like visiting

Movies/books/games/magazine that make me happy

Places I like visiting

Colours that make me fee happy

Books and authors I like reading

Websites and apps I like

Games series and thier software developers like

Food that makes me happy

Drinks that make me happy (broken down in to non-alcoholic and alcoholic)

In this folder I also have things to do list

Passwords account authentication list

NHS and various other letters to keep

A spot for printed self help guides when I buy a printer (on my to do list and maked TBA (To Be Added)

And it ends with a list of emails address, numbers and websites over alllllll the various services I've been in contact with over the past WEEEK !!!!!!

I've started tidying up the flat and putting things that go together in the same box and I've spent some time reorganizing my personal email which are things I havent had time to do due to barely coping with work but now I don't have to focus on work I can focus on looking within

[bexx87]

The amount of times in this past year I have accidentally flashed neighbours walking past I dread to think because my towel has slipped and I havent managed to catch it in time because I'm too tired

im surprised I'm not reported for indecent exposure

Which is why I put on a dressing gown on top of the towel so if it doesn't slipp(and it has) I'm still covered up

[stedman]

We're all in the same boat at this time of the year. I do my deskwork during the winter months accompanied by a little television or choice music, the minutes quickly slip into hours, some days it's too cold to work in the garage or garden so I find little jobs to do inside and for me, November and December are now a waning memory. We are almost halfway through January with February being the shortest month I will soon have to reset the alarm for 7am and participate with Spring. I'm feeling better already!!👍😂

[Kirk5w7]

Hi Stedman

Seems like you have the best routine there. Something i aspire to and hopefully may achieve one day.

This years biggest project is an extension on the house, first things first though i need plans drawn up and to apply for the relevant permissions.

Lets hope we can keep focussed on this then i can take it from there.

Janet x

[Danger19]

Hello my lovely,

I just wanted you to know something from me. I have read many of your posts and a lot of your responses to others and I wanted you to know. For a person that has been through so much it is so nice to see your positivity and support to others. Our situation can be life changing and have a huge impact on an individuals daily living. It can be so hard to keep going forward. People just need to know they are not alone and there are others who understand and can relate to their feelings. You are exactly the kind of positivity that people struggling with our situations need. I sincerely wish you peace, happiness and good health for the future.

Take care and keep offering your invaluable advice.

Vikki

[Kirk5w7 in reply to Danger19]

Thank you so much Vikki, i try to be a help to others, spread the positivity because i know how hard it is to keep going at times.

It could be so much worse for me and believe me i have those times when i think why me? But i know the answer is that there is no why me? Sometimes we are just unlucky so the best thing to do is try and make your own luck.

And that i can control to a point.

Over the years ive learnt which days are going to be good and which ones i just have to write off, then theres always tomottow.

Take care

Janet xxxx

[Danger19]

Thank you for your lovely response. I try to offer support and advice. Being a nurse I have just a few things that I think may help. I am extremely lucky to have no signs of having had my accident. I know how lucky I have been. But I had to really fight medical professionals to be left alone. I was very lucky to have an inside knowledge of how to fight and what the outcome for me would be. Keep up your support for others, you are amazing.

Take care,

Vikki