My own little world

[Daniel-42]

Hi all, This is my 1st post so here we go, 4 years ago I was walking home from a pub and yes I had had a few and I didn't make it home because some 19 year old thug decided it would be a good idea to attack and rob me.

And I woke up in a hospital I had no clue what had happened I had a deformed skull a perforated ear drum, collapsed lung, 4 broken ribs, and some damage to the discs in my back. I was put in a coma for three days to protect me from harm.

Since this has happened I've been finding life a bit difficult thing just don't seem the same my aggression if off the scale and half the time I seem to be miles away in my own little world I tend to swear a lot more than usual and I cannot seem to tolerate stressful situations, I have some speech problems that I cannot find my words and remembering things is a major problem.

Well that's me now, hope your all having a great day.

[charlieab]

Hi Daniel

Sorry to hear that you have had so much to deal with. Im hoping that teh thug got caught and is still inside?

I dont have a TBI, but lots of brain lesions, cysts, a strange gap in the brain, and a bucket full of autoimmune conditions. So my experience might not be all that relevant. I know for sure that I struggle with impulse control now. I sometimes shout which I dont remember ever doing before - at least not in anger. I also swear and through the four years of my last marriage I only ever (according my now ex-wife) swore three times and it was never at her; more in the nature of swearing when I stubbed my toe or something like that. TBh I think I swore more than 3 times but might have done so under my breath!

Four years on is not that long imo for tbi and Im guessing that things will get better and a lot easier for your over time. I have found my local Headway group helpful and might be worth popping along if have one near you.

best wishes

R

[Daniel-42 in reply to charlieab]

Hi Charlieab, sorry to hear about the problems that you are experiencing, the impulse control is also one of my problems in the way that I do things without thinking or just doing something because I know I can and then I cannot stop myself. It's as if I have no fear or emotions, So my psyco therapist has told me not to drive because it's to dangerses, and yes I have been going to my local headways group and found that I'm not the one having these issues, the group really helps me understand and cope with the new things that I experience.

Thanks

Daniel

Oh and the thug got out a few weeks ago.

[charlieab in reply to Daniel-42]

Thanks Daniel. Glad the group helps. I just misssed one but hope to catch the last one berfore Christmas.

[cat3]

Hi Daniel and welcome. My son was violently attacked and robbed some years ago by a gang of thugs who kicked his head repeatedly as he lay unconscious. He escaped with concussion, lacerations & stitches, so was 'fortunate' in that respect, but the image of him drenched in blood and unable to speak will stay with me always.

But you're exhibiting classic symptoms of brain injury. The aggression, loss of empathy, speech difficulties and difficulty coping with demanding situations are very, very common after effects. What, if any, strategies does your psychotherapist suggest to address these problems ? Cat x

[Daniel-42 in reply to cat3]

Hi Cat, Sorry to hear about your son thats a terrible thing to happen, I to was attacked in pretty much the same way and my family have been left with images of me in hospital with tubes and wires attached and me asleep in a induced coma.

My psychotherapist has only been seeing me once a month for four months as she only works part time at the moment but Is due to start full time soon then she will see me more regular, we have looked at a pocket note pad for me to use to help me remember things and anxiety table to help with the aggression, and a lot of talking now I'm just waiting for my next appointment.

Daniel

[cat3 in reply to Daniel-42]

Without my notebook I'd be about as cognizant as a headless chicken. Each night I list any items I need to buy the following day ; jobs I need to do, appointments, and even stuff I need to mention to anyone.

I know men are often reluctant to discuss feelings but, regarding the aggression, the more detail you can share with your therapist the more you'll start to reveal the reasons behind your frustrations and understand your triggers.

I've found my patience is easily tested since my haemorrhage 6 years ago. The slightest blip has the potential for rage, but I've learned certain coping strategies (no 1 - walking away).

I've gradually learned to accept this very different version of myself, the one with hopeless word-recall, constant fatigue, impaired mobility and short temperedness. So my life is different, but still one well worth living............

I hope you can find your way through/over/round your obstacles Daniel and I'm glad you've found your way here ! Cat x

[Hidden]

Hello Daniel,

There are many of us on this site that can align ourselves with what you are now suffering. Each case is different irrespective of the effects. 50 years ago I was struck by a car as I turned right on my motorcycle - no crash helmet then, no legal requirement. TBI and unconscious for 6 weeks after.

Stuttering for words that would not come, swearing [and I still do], short-term memory problems, crowds cause me problems [to this day], increased libido, spatial awareness, decision making, planning, epilepsy [Petit mal] and depression.

I'm still epileptic, I still have problems with my nominating skills [planning and decisions], I swear like a trooper and my increased libido [at 67] is still a problem to me.

Along the way I have had very low self-esteem. I also hit the bottle to remove the aberrations of my failures, my low self-esteem and the ongoing depressions. Nowadays, I've convinced myself I'm as good as the next man and failures? Well, who cares? The Depressions I just try to jerk myself out of. Sometimes, in private, I cry my eyes out.

On the good side of things my short term memory functions well but it is slower than others and I can control the libido [well, usually except for a foray with another woman that almost cost me my marriage - won't happen again] and I'm still employed.

I won't take any mindbending pills - anti-depressives, anti-convulsants and the like.

A recent accident, a little catastrophic as I crippled myself, resulted in it being discovered that I have high blood pressure so one pill in the morning and one at night and that's it.

What I'm trying to say [before I waffle on] is that what has happened will take some time to recover from as the brain rewires itself to compensate. I no longer stutter for words and my memory seems as good as the next man [its slower] but its all about coping and control.

Good luck to you.

Ps .... stay away from alcohol. Its a problem for us TBI survivors.

[keeley24]

I got to a BI group and have been suprised how common BI is after being attacked. There is at least 2 men there that got BI through being attacked one being the man who set the group up. I know one of other men that goes swears a lot don’t know if he swears more now but not any less. I guess anger is understandable tho the man who set group up found people grtting angry about his attacker just brought him down so focused more on his recovery. I think him being able to only focus on one thing at a time helped him so it was either recovery or anger towards Mam who hit him he chose to focus on his recovery.

Things do get easier in time.

[jacs17]

so sorry to hear this sometimes life is unfair,i haven't been online much as I forgot my password an have moved,so remembering hasn't really ever come back to me.Just hope in time it does get better for you,seems unfair other peoples wrong choices ruin our lives.Daniel alot on here have similar problems,so I am sure you will get answers to questions you may want to ask,good luck hun.

[Elenor3]

Welcome Daniel. I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. It's really shocking how someone can change your life through something like this. I have impulsive behaviours and issues since a TBI, and find it helpful to chew strong tasting chewing gum if I feel stress levels rising in a public place. This was suggested by neuropsychologist and it does help. My coat pockets are all stocked with earplugs and chewing gum. This is ok unless I forget and put them in the washing machine I hope you find some good support with neuropsychology. I don't think I'd have coped without it in the first year. Good luck

[Daniel-42]

Thanks to all for your comments and support I am glad I joined this forum, I wondered if someone could tell me about the 3 things about memory I think one was about working memory but for some unknown reason I cannot remember the other two.

Thanks Daniel