Relationships

[Lann62]

Sorry I've not been online for a while. It will be 2 years at the beginning of Dec since my collapse with SAH. I am doing well, I can see that and acknowledge that. The issue is my relationship. I walk on my own can get on the bus although I lack a lot of confidence. I finally have accepted I won't work again, the job I did was to fast pace and emotional and I would not be able to keep up. My husband and I are thinking of moving, he finally want to return to where he was brought up. A part of me is anxious that I

don't want to be isolated. I am also worried that now it feels like we are just 2 adults sharing a house. He says he loves me and I love him, but physically there is no closeness, there has not been for some time. I don't know if this is just to be expected and its a phase we are passing though. Will it get better. I miss him terribly and need and want the reassurance that things will be ok again. He can't give me that at the moment. I feel very lost and very alone at the moment. I would welcome any advice. I probably sound very ungrateful, but honestly Im not I am totally grateful to him for all he has and is doing. I look forward to our life together. I just want to know that the physical side of things will return or is that it now. Any help/advice greatly appreciated. I so much want to move on and have a positive life and enjoy our life together. I miss the physical side of things. Is this normal for the situation we are in or is this not unusual for some males. Will this improve, I ask and at the same time I know no one can really answer me. I guess Im just looking for some kind of guidance with regards to the impact on relationships. Does it improve. I feel very alone most of the time. I want not to feel like this and hope the move will bring us back together and closer. Any thoughts greatly appreciated.

[Debra1967]

Hi Lann62.

I think it's the opposite for me. I had my SAH in July last year, and there has been no physical intimacy since then. I love my husband deeply, but I can't bear to even be touched now. I don't really know why, I just feel very tense and anxious. I have not spoken about it to anyone. I feel so guilty because it's not fair on him.

He may be afraid that you are not ready to resume a full on physical relationship. I would love to say to sit him down and talk about it, but I would be a bit of a hypocrite because I'm finding it so difficult to talk to my husband about it. I hope you are able to work this out. x

[Lann62 in reply to Debra1967]

Hi Debra1967 many many thanks for you reply. I really appreciate it. It feels like I am going mad with these thoughts and then I receive thoughtful, kind and sensitive responses which help me to try and put things into some kind of logic! My confidence has be shot to pieces for sure, I was in the past more or less a confident person, certainly when it came to my work which was a big part of me. Suddenly its as if the rug was literally suddenly pulled from under me. I am so thankful for all who have taken the time to respond to me. I can only assume that I have to be patient and maybe time will help. Maybe as my confidence returns I will not be looking for reassurance as much. I don't know everything is such a muddle at time. Much of the time I wonder am I making any sense at all. Even as I write this I think, I must sound like such confusion. Thank you for taking the time to respond to me. Everything does help and makes it feel I am less alone and not the only one feeling like this or going through these feelings. I constantly doubt if I make any sense, apologies if this response is a muddle. Thank you