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Help! What do we do with our dad?

My father-in-law has an acquired brain injury from a cycling accident in 2014. He has not yet returned home from a rehabilitation centre, and now we have no idea what to do about his long-term care. Social services are concerned only with finance, but it is clear that my mother-in-law cannot care for him alone full time. We have young children and live in a town 30 miles away, and there is no other family that we can rely on locally for support. Does anybody have advice or suggestions for respite centres in the Stoke-on-Trent or North Staffordshire area that we could contact? We basically need some sort of drop-in group that can support my mother-in-law and help with his ongoing rehabilitation.

8 Replies

How sorry I am to read of your situation. Please call the Headway Helpline as a first port of call. You might also contact your local hospital to find out if there is a community neurological team working in your area. They'd be able to advise around care homes and services in your area. Wishing you all the very best

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Thank you Elenor. I am learning that our situation is far from unique, and perhaps as a family we must now learn to move on from what happened and prepare for a new kind of life. It is tricky, but I really appreciate all the help and advice that is available over here.

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Hi there and welcome.

Although social services seem to be dealing with the financial side they can help you set up personalised care through direct payments.

This enables you to chose what care is needed and maybe employ them directly using payments from social services. This is a basic explanation but social services or Headway cams advise in more detail.

The good thing with this is you can tailor needs and alter as time passes and needs alter.

I have a P.A. funded this way and it has been a great help.



Oh, thanks for the information, Pax! I will speak to our contact at Headway and find out a little more information from social services. It is tricky because my sister-in-law is helping with the financial planning side, and we live just far enough away that we are left out of the loop, so to speak.


Hi have you looked into direct payments for your father-in-laws care through your local council, he would be assessed by them and allocated a set amount of money for the year, you are then able to employ your own staff to cover his care needs, it is quite complicated but worth looking into

King regards carolyn


Thanks Carolyn. I have learned that due to my in-laws previous work status, they are both ineligible for state support. My mother-in-law now has to allocate money from her pension and the marital funds to pay for a carer. It is still being worked out.


Hi I am so sorry to hear about your dad it must be so difficult for you all.

Have you phoned Headway at all ? They are a fantastic charity that can give you lots of information about groups, rights etc.

I have used them several times and always found them to be very helpful.

Best wishes



Thanks Bernie. i did email them last week and now have a contact name and number so I will follow it up. I appreciate your reply.


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