Wrong place

I think someone used this forum when they needed something more to help them. Anger has come across when I think deep down that person was in a lot of pain and I really hope that person gets help to come to terms with what has happened to them. I would not have been able to write or even talk to anyone like this for about the first 10 years of my TBI/coma. I felt a lot of anger and negativity at this world and that came out often. I had a very angry aura and lost everyone I knew and loved (aside from majority of family and 2 lifelong friends. We all have a cross to bear.

[sospan]

I guess like a lot of us, you had to go through it without much professional support.

One of the hardest part of injury for everyone around are the changes to personality. It can be many things depression, rage, feeling of isolation or even the choice to withdraw. As you have found many "friends" disappear leaving a shell of our world behind. Many of us become very difficult people to deal with altogether.

Brainline quotes that between 40% - 78% of long term relationships and marriages fail after a TBI. Which shows, how significant the problem is for the survivor and partners.

Many people suggest counselling, CBT and other therapies. But for many of us at the time, even the merest suggestion of therapy would be like putting lemon juice on a paper cut.

I really have no idea what the approach should be, but having a forum like this where people can express their feelings and even the odd rant is a very useful thing to have.

[Hidden]

Anger is all part of the stages of grief and healing that you go through. Totally normal after an abnormal and unnatural experience like a BI which is a death , the death of the old you. I divide my life in 2 now as well. There is huge rage - why did this happen? So unfair!!! You often lose friends, mine have gone, then marriages can teeter ( mine ended too) then there is blame and you are seen as the one at fault. If there are children it is hard - all you want is silence and peace but only a lucky few get it. Grief will come, grieving for lost memories and your lost potential. The time passes and one day you will see someone in a worse situation than you, maybe, and realise that it is random, it is chance, illness can strike anyone, you are not special and that will lift you out of the morass of self pity you may be in ( I sure was) and say 'why not me?' Then you know you feel empathy and you are on the way to healing. Of course it never really ends and you just need to bite your lip when your family say - well of course you are better now because it was xx years ago, because you hold down a job, because you are smiling... Only you know the superhuman effort it takes just to get from one day to the next so smile, hold your head up and carry on. Happy weekend, all