The frustrations of my tbi have surfaced even more recently. My memory is worse and my ability to regulate my mood is getting more difficult. Am quite depressed but pretend to be happy cos noone likes a misery. I had a voluntary job last year I ended up leaving due to overload and burn out. I worked too many hours and had too much stress. I recently saw the managers of the place I'd worked and they said they were glad to see the back of me cos I had a negative persona towards the end. They basically said my problems were not up for discussion at work. I never did discuss problems in work but the work was in a church so I kind of thought they might be a BIT supportive but they weren't. I thought I did well up to leaving. My mum had just died and lots was going on in my life and I tried my best. I was always nice and cheerful to customers but I just feel like nothing I do is good enough.
I sit in church on my own every week and wonder why I bother cos I can't remember a single thing that is said. Pre tbi my faith was important to me but now I can't remember it. I just feel lonely sitting there by myself.
I got put back in the support group of ESA after 6 months of carry on with the dwp but then I got a letter inviting me to see a work coach anyway. They clearly have no idea, even now, how limited I am. Am 56 and have been like this for 30 years. Am not going to get better now...not after all this time. Am alone with my cats. Not one single person understands how I am ...not one. One person even suggested I do a degree. LOL