Has anyone noticed someone that is not suffered a brain injury (or dementia or any other related condition) copying behaviors or habits that's those with a condition do?
I think I've noticed my mum copying me (head injury symptoms/behaviors) and definitely my nan (who has dementia)!
Are these coping strategies or just the effect of being around people with those conditions?
Whatever, it's very hard for me to be around her and I'm wondering if I've grown up with someone who has others problems (when I've mentioned this its created a s"'t storm and have backed off/hidden away/lived in a hole since!)
Im damn hungry now because I ate something quickly because I felt damn uncomfortable as usual and went out! If I go back I will get a piercing/angry/furious look/questioning/response! But I really want my coffee and the sandwich I left on the side! Fk it. It's not worth it and this is how things continue. They have no idea that this goes on for me no do they really care enough to look into it or understand it. It's a nightmare, a living nightmare because I've been running away from head injury for a long time now (as of their mal-adjusted diagnosis!😭).
I've been to China,America,most of Europe,Africa,most of Asia and still I return to no understanding,no acceptance!
This morning I read that we shouldn't rely on others to change but if I go away again that's pain cause I will return one day.
If I stay here I loose value in what money I have as of Brexit !
I think I need some medication or occupation or both, or none, or something else to level me out (it's probably the hunger speaking!)
This message has become something more than I intende but sometimes it's good to let it out and I thank you if you have got to here!😂😊❤️👍
Written by
LukeB
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Yes it is good to blast and have a good off load and this forum offers a good place to do so! I think I am right in remembering you have spent year/s living and working abroad? For anyone of your age it is very difficult to move back to live at home with parents even without a brain injury! For example young adults who lived away and independently whilst studying at uni often find it impossible to come back to live at home. They have developed their own opinions, life styles and not had to consider their parents quirks, house rules, expectations etc etc. You have experienced a lifestyle that also meant you lived life the way you wanted. To your mum you are still her child and she is struggling to live with you as an adult. If you man has dementia that affects the brain and there are similarities to brain injury in the way it present. I am sure she is not copying you but will be further deterioration in her abilities and which will fluctuate. Maybe now you have a bi your are more acutely aware of the problems it causes and so you are picking up the traits in your mums behaviour that seem similar. Some could perhaps be those moments everyone has eg forgetfulness, being muddled, irritable and reactive etc. Be mindful of the possibility that your mums behaviours could be symptomatic of something else eg depression, menopause etc. My suggestion would be to try and move out if you can and live independently. Brain injury is very hard for those around us to understand and very few in the medical profession comprehend it either!
We become naturally more aware of things that we relate to - so if you own a VW car, suddenly you see loads of VWs on the road, that when you had a Ford you just weren't seeing at all. Same thing with symptoms really. You feel that you are easily annoyed, or very forgetful, or not concentrating well, and because you are attuned to it in yourself, you also pick it up in others. Often when others say that annoying thing of 'oh, yes, I do that all the time' (which of course they don't) they mean that it is something that they notice about themselves, probably because it irritates them. Once you know to link a behaviour with your condition, it kind of has a red flag attached to it, and you spot it more easily in others too. So your mum may not be copying you, but there may be similarities occasionally (to do with ageing and loss of brain power) that are showing up for you like red flags. I know when my brain first went wonky I thought I had early onset dementia....there are lots of similarities after all amongst brain conditions.
On the other matter, get yourself on your local housing list. If you can get your GP to back you up, and if you can get an organisation like Headway to write in support, you might have half a chance of a Council/housing association property. It is hard, but it is possible. Your local housing advice centre may also know whether there is access to 'rent guarantee' or 'deposit bond' schemes in your area that could help you get a private let. Lodgings are the other alternative - but you may find sharing with strangers just as difficult as sharing with mum!
And go get your sandwich! a hungry tum is an angry tum!
Strangers...yeah,that's a thought but I don't think they'd scowl at me, scold me for being there or be as moody miserable but you never know! Food for thought! Where do I want to live and with whom!? Maybe the north will be different/better. Maybe this is the catalyst I needed to get me moving...cheapest private rural northern property here I come...unless I can sell myself in some way that gets me what I want😉
Malalatete mentioned possibly the local council assisting you with finding accomodation. You can register to submit an application to their housing list, or if you are found to be 'homeless', I.e. The situation at home is unbearable and you can no longer stay there, the council may have a duty to house you. I believe you would have 'priority need' due to BI, but This is the criteria for my local council.
I am not sure how old you are but where I live the council have specific housing for under 25s, a bit like YMCA. It might not want you wish for long term, but could give you a start, and space to decide on your options for work etc. I cannot think of the name, but there is an agency which helps people to return to work with health problems. I believe the job centre may know, or another member on this forum. In fact, I hope to use this s efficient soon after ending my volunteering due to my health deteriorating.
Hope you did manage to eat, keep your energy levels up, 🍧🍽🍰🍦😉
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