Loss of sympathy/empathy.

[randomphantoms]

I feel rotten this morning and it's because of a conversation with a family member last night.

Roughly the conversation went like this....

Family member "And what have you done today?"

Me "very little"

FM "so you were a lazy cow!"

Me "Sunday is a day off unlike you who has EVERY day off."

I think I just lost it because here I am doing my best to manage and this family member point blank refuses to take any personal responsibility for any aspect of their health.

Still I feel guilty. I feel like I should be climbing Everest or something because it's my job to have something to talk about.

My Everest yesterday was the boring normal stuff on my planner.

This business of not having filters is a bit of a double edged sword.

I could have used a tap on the shoulder or at least remembering an old family expression 'Engage brain before opening mouth".

Anyway that's my mini rant over

Thanks for listening.

Hope everyone has the best week possible and enjoys our few days of summer.

Love n hugs

Xoxo

[moo196]

Sounds to me like you were engaging in normal social banter to me !

[randomphantoms in reply to moo196]

I wish it was Moo but I think it must have been brewing for a long time.

This family member "can't be bothered" to get dressed, make something to eat, go out etc etc.

At one point I actually got them to go to the GP and tell them this and they were prescribed anti depressants.

Three weeks later they stopped taking the meds because they had taken one tablet too many twice in a week and refused to use one of the pill boxes that we gave so that they could put everything they needed in little compartments and know just by looking if they'd taken them. They also refused to have their meds blister packed by the chemist.

I have run out of ideas or sympathy it seems.

Love n hugs

Xoxo

[moo196 in reply to randomphantoms]

you can only help people so much sometimes.

On a serious note tho, the little compartment pill things didn't help me at all in early days.....I still couldn't tell my sister whether I had actually swallowed the pills when it was empty......turns out weeks later I found them at bottom of the washing basket !! Must've decided it was safer that way ??? But because I couldn't be sure, that's when she ...rightly...insison carers coming in.

Have a good day x

[randomphantoms in reply to moo196]

This family member doesn't have a bi and will not have carers.

Perhaps I should say will not keep carers. The family have organised carers more often than I care to think about and the longest any lasted was 6 months.

Thanks a million Moo.

I think you're right when you say you can only help people so much sometimes.

Time to draw a line under it and just let any future comments wash over under or around me and not get me wet.

Love n hugs

Xoxo

[moo196 in reply to randomphantoms]

After carers i had one of those round pill dispenser thingies which bleeped and buzzed and flashed at me until I took my meds out ..... but that's just another thought ...... I borrowed mine from some local dept and pharmacist filled it for me ...

Start my new pt job soon .... better dash !

x

[angelite]

Hi Random,

I wouldn't be overly worried about the retort - fair do's IMO : )

Just a thought but is family member tending toward the elderly years ? Angela x

[randomphantoms in reply to angelite]

Yes they are elderly but have always been this way.

Love n hugs

Xoxo

[CH56Twin]

Hello Random

This so rings a bell. But for me it is hubby who comments regularly on what I have not done. Ok I know he means well, thinks he is encouraging me but sometimes I do wish the impossible - that he could spend a day or even a half day perhaps an hour in my brain.

Unlike your relative hubby is a doer and I am definitely a shade or two behind him. Are there any medications out there that help people to be more understanding? Dream on Clare.........

Not all negative though- he is still here and does his best to support me especially when I cook him yummy food! Always a trade off! Guess that's just life as we know it?

Stay dry or you are very welcome to share my umbrella.

Clare xx

[randomphantoms in reply to CH56Twin]

Clare. The journey post bi is full of very annoying phases (from our point of view at least).

There was about 6 months of my hubby being a permanently attached shadow and my irritation levels went through the roof even though my rational self knew that it was a safety thing. I was leaving doors unlocked, gas rings on, boiling kettles with no water and the list goes on and on.

Have you got the headway leaflets so that you and your hubby can both understand.

Love n hugs

Xoxo

[CH56Twin in reply to randomphantoms]

Thanks Random

Nope haven;t got the leaflets. How do I get them?

Cheers x

[randomphantoms in reply to CH56Twin]

I think you can download them from the Headway website or phone them. The contact details are in a pinned post on this page.

Other top tips are take extra Omega oils, hydrate really well and and avoid caffeine.

Love n hugs

Xoxo