Read this Mr Theroux

The Wind Tunnel of Brain Injury

A new day dawns and the bleary eyes force themselves to open. The breeze picks up speed, gathers strength and blows a little harder. Time marches on and the day passes, all the while the wind is picking up speed. The tunnel is now a trap and you can’t escape.

That wind is awareness, it is life and it’s hurtling by you. You’re clinging on for dear life, literally. The wind is now a maelstrom and you stand and watch and wonder. You’re scared, you have no control. The hurricane continues unabated, you freeze in the vortex wondering what the hell is going on around you, trying to make sense of it all, trying to work out who you even are. Fatigue, memory, control, balance, remember when you could control them?

No.

Life is passing you by and you’re not sure of your place in it, you’re not SURE of anything. Concentration rules supreme and the enormous effort to do just that is immense. In the meantime, standing up straight in the tempest is wearing you down.

I need sleep. Again.

And THAT, Mr Theroux, is what it's like living with the hidden disability that is brain injury.

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25 Replies

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  • Did you send it to him - apparently he also has a twitter account but I know nothing about this way of communication....

    Foundations of sand was something that resonated hugely with me at the time ....

  • Twitter? I've steadfastly managed to avoid it thus far, just not my thing really

  • Me too - but he might be an avid user ...... :-)

  • I've contacted him on Facebook, we shall see...

  • I would be interested to hear if he replies via FB or Twitter. The programme he did was not representative.

  • Nothing so far...

  • Exactly!

    Hitting the wall too frequently these days. It's just another kick whilst I'm down.

  • Hope you're managing to climb back up...

    Sending my best to you

  • Off work today. Trying to recharge and recover. Sometimes I just need to make sure I actually listen to my body instead of keeping pushing to the limits. I just wish I had even the slightest notion of reaching these limits before I actually hit the wall.

  • Not easy is it, when you can't see the wall coming...

  • Well said again a voice of reason in this confussion.

    Pax

  • Thanks, Pax

  • Goodness me - I'm moved to tears reading your post. How brilliantly set out and how wonderfully descriptive. Wish I could have written that......well said, a perfect analogy of a day in the life. Brilliant. I do hope you have success with Mr.T. He needs to read this. x

  • You're far too kind! I doubt very much Mr T will bother to have a look...

  • Therapeutic isn't it Andy. I always found that putting intractable problems into the abstract compartmentalises them once & for all. And it's almost like creating something good from the turmoil and chaos which is our lives ! :o xxx

  • It helps me! I genuinely wish those in the know would read my scribblings

  • Thank you so much for creating amazingly, supportive responses to this program. I'm extremely comforted to know I'm not alone.!

  • You're far from alone! Have a chat any time if you want to

  • Such true comments.

    Every day for my hubby is like Groundhog Day. He cries some mornings, asking me when he will feel "normal" again

    When he can go through a day without feeling exhausted most of the time.

    When we can walk without getting giddy& talk without having to process every word.

    When he can remember what day it is without lots of prompts

    When he can be the loving, hardworking , sociable, outgoing person he used to be.

    People say"doesn't he look well" or 'we all forget things as we get older' or 'I need a nap during the day'.

    Louis needs to spend a week on his own , in the company of a BI person.

    He might get it then!!

  • Indeed he does!

    My very best wishes to both of you!

  • 'We all forget things as we get older...' the number of times I have clasped my hands behind my back so as not to thump the ignorant insensitive but ultimately well meaning person spouting such claptrap...he is not alone!

  • Thank you Andy for another refreshing burst of your creative powers x

  • Another what? Are you insane? :)

  • Only clinically..... ;-)

  • Perfect! :)

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