Help!

Hi all - My partner was diagnosed with a trapped nerve in his neck 8 weeks ago - 48 hours later it was discovered to be a non malignant brain and spinal tumor which was removed via invasive surgery.  He is really struggling with getting his head around all that is happening and the pain is still immense (co-codamol not helping).  Even the simplest of tasks he gets into a state about.  Can I ask anyone else out there how do you cope with a partner who is in a constant state of upset and panic?  Thank you xx

8 Replies

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  • Hi Fifi & welcome.  Can your partner take Ibuprofen (some, like myself, are allergic).  it's a much more effective pain killer, and because the ingredients are totally different to Co Codamol, he can take the maximum dose of both until the pain begins to subside.

    He should also find that his GP will prescribe an antidepressant to help him through that strange period of realisation we all suffer after a peculiar brain event, and the fatigue and irritability which so often results.

    It can be a long period of adjustment after any type of brain illness/injury, which most people here can identify strongly with, but which we do learn to do eventually, each in our own personal ways.

    Best wishes to you both.  I hope you'll stay and keep us updated with, hopefully, news of gradual improvements.  

    Cat x

  • Hello Fifi and welcome.

    My heart goes out to you both.

    There are a number of partners/carers in the forum and I'm sure they will be able to offer support.

    Ring the Headway helpline and talk with them.

    You both have a long journey ahead.

    You didn't say if your partner is still in hospital. 

    We are here for you.

    Love n hugs

    Xoxo

  • Thank you for your message and I certainly will ring the helpline.

    He is out of hospital and at home but is really struggling with the shock of it all.

    Thanks for your support.

    A x

  • Morning 

    Apart from headway I would recommend getting in touch with GP again for a referral to Community Neuro rehab team - mine were very useful and I hadn't even heard of them before - nor did my GP automatically refer me. 

    Lucky that your partner has you around to help - mine left the day I had seizures. 

    the other things that helped me at the time were trying to have some routine of sorts - a lttle walk every day ( though I had to tell someone where I was going) , some yoga stretches and my " creative" outlet was cooking - wish someone had suggested colouring books to me earlier on..... I also obtained free audio books from local library as I was in no fit state to read or concentrate on TV at the time. 

    I was prescribed tramadol for the pain side of things - allergic to anything with codeine in - but soon found the bad side effects too much and weaned myself off of them ( with some cold turkey symptoms mind you ). Now have baby doses of amitriptylene each evening which are much kinder . 

    Look after yourself too :-) 

    x

  • Thanks for the info - he left hospital with just paracetamol which did not touch the sides! He is going back this week to his GP for stronger meds and at the moment he has amitptylene which does help him sleep.

    Sorry your partner left you - sounds like you are better off without him!

    I am a bubbly person by nature but it is getting me down as well hence me joining here for some support.

    I will ask about the Neuro rehab team here in the New Forest.  It sounds like something that would really help.

    I hope you are feeling well today.

    Hugs

    Alison

  • I don't know what the headway in your area does, but some have friends/family groups so folks can meet and get support.

    Talking of support do look after your self and ask for help.

    It is a scarey place just after, I remember being scared if my wife left me alone for long, and she arranged to work from home for a while etc.  8 weeks is still very much early days but I promise it will improve!

    I was given paracemole and something fairly strong that knocked me out at night, but to be honest I spent my days drifting in and out of sleep, any little thing knocked me out for hours if not days!

    At one point I felt so well I wanted to get Christmas presents for my wife so against her best intentions she helped me into the local town, where I promptly shut down so she left me parked in a cafe, and rushed around getting every thing and then bundled me in a taxi home, where I slept until the next unwise adventures! 

  • Welcome good advice from everyone,iam a wife of a B.I survoir and i promise it does get easier! My hubby is going to start a new job on the 18th,it has taken nearly two years,but finally we are moving forward.I cannnot reitarte enough take of you two! I know that all youre focus is on youre hubby but it is imporant. xxx

  • Hi,

    Sounds like you're both having a tough time just now, hang in there.

    There could be some long term effects that he, and you, will have to work around but in most cases there is an initial recovery stage that is quite rapid and amazing. If you're not seeing that right now it will hopefully be very soon.

    Worth keeping a little journal and documenting good/bad days so the specialists have data to help. He will probably struggle with that just now so be really useful for you to do together.

    And definitely worth a review with GP straight away for pain and referrals.

    Pain

    Could ask about short term combo:

    Gabapentin - neuro pain

    Codeine - normal pain

    Ibuprofen/naproxen - inflammation

    Paracetamol - temperature

    The amitryptiline is supposed to be best for sleep/pain but if that's not working could ask about combination of pain killers above, with a low dose SSRI to manage anxiety/irritability and zopiclone sleeping tablets.

    If the doctor puts him on a combo don't forget to ask for lansoprazole to protect stomach, and remember this is only a short term solution, neuro team is best help.

    Referral

    If you google STAR team Stockport you will see the sort of things your local neuro team can help with. It's an all round service of all sorts of specialists, brilliant support and guidance, just need to ask Dr to refer to the one in you area.

    Hospital

    Ask for referral back to the hospital neurologist too if haven't an appointment soon, always good to keep everything checked out.

    Will keep fingers crossed gets better for you both very soon! 

    Ax

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