I'm resting up today before I have meds test tomorrow for planned angiogram on 2nd of February. And then possible radio therapy.
I'm nervous, worried, anxious, upset and I know to some degree I'm being silly.
Because there shouldn't be any changes long term.
I have come such a long way since my hearmorrage 8 years ago.
But.....I think if I type this it will leave my head (here's hoping)
When I had my brain haemorrhage 8 years ago I lost life as I knew it.
My balance, some sight, fantastic career, some family and friends etc etc.....
But most of all I lost my independence outside of my home. By that I mean I cannot go out by myself, I totally rely on others to take me out. Usually this would be my husband or sister, or close friends who understand my condition. I accept my condition the majority of time, but today I'm reflecting on what might have been. Silly I know..........
I would just like once to go out on my own.....s.......igh
I look well, much like any other person really. But since the haemorrhage and the
brain damage I have lost certain functions and pathways that worked previously. I therefore scream, panic, cry, run and put my self in danger when I hear a noise I haven't expected, and that's why I can't go out alone. (I've run into the road, I've knocked people over, I've screamed and panicked and pushed others. The list goes on) I can't even walk upstairs in my home if someone is behind me. In the supermarket if I walk around the corner and someone is coming the other way I scream. (Not as loud these days, due to the medication) good job someone is with me to say whoops sorry.
I have had loads of help in the last few years (nothing the first 4 years) to help me come to terms and understand my condition. People...... On the whole I get it and fully understand it. (I posted earlier in the week and it was much more positive)
I'm just feeling sorry for myself....I apologise......I know you all get it
I'm just very very tired from Christmas and my batteries haven't recharged enough yet
for me to take things in my stide as I would do normally.
I will post back when alls back to "normal". In the mean time virtual friends onwards, upwards and forwards.