Like everything to work to plan: Pleas can I ask if... - Headway

7,504 members9,989 posts

Like everything to work to plan


Pleas can I ask if anyone when they had early BI like everything to go to plan ? I find myself getting upset when plans are changed . I feel powerless !

Am not allowed to drive at moment and finding lack of independance very hard . Reliance on others feels like I am back in my teenage days.

The peace and tranquility of the countryside is healing but also almost to tranquil .

Feel like life is passing me by and life is short enough already .

Scared that I will speak with a foreign accent for years to come and to be fatigued aaagggghhhh.

Would welcome others experience please. Am feeling very tearful and upset.

Thank you in anticipation x

11 Replies

Very understandable Writer52. Our poor damaged brains can`t react as fast as before or process information quickly and yes, routine and patterns and simple normal straightforward stuff is what we need. Oh, plus lots of silence...very rare in today`s world. We take longer now to get our heads round something and once we get ourselves psyched for it any change is just going to make us angry/stressed/confused. Gone are the days of wild spontaneity, for me, anyway. There is a lot to get used to but you will and I send you lots of best wishes on your journey.Ask for any help you want and just be who you are and go easy on yourself x

in reply to Hidden

I really appreciate your empathy dear Abi and realise you must have been through so much. Thank you for offering me a helping hand and word through this strange journey.

I was looking foward to my day and it all got thrown out and I could not get my head round it or pull myself back from the abyss.

Calmer now thank you and going to get an early night - try again tomorrow !

Sweet dreams and love


in reply to Writer52

You`re more than welcome. Thats what this forum is for, we all understand each other and can offer or get some support. x

in reply to Hidden

It's a huge relief to have the forum and you guys to chat to. Xxxx

Powerless, yes, plans, not so much.

The communication around my haemorrhage was appalling, and I was shuttled from one place to the next, by over-worked but compassionate staff, who didn't really take the time to tell me what was happening, or why. I made up my own care plan, and risk assessment, and was incredibly frustrated by all the "can't" I had to impose on myself, but, just short of five months later, I'm back at work, and back in my routine.

I have historical PTSD, so the not-knowing and not-being-in-control was very hard for me, I was perhaps a little too eager for my independence, because I hate to be reliant on others for anything, but, here I am.

A brain injury doesn't just have physical impacts, the emotional impacts are massive, and there wasn't any support offered where I am. Contradicting myself a little, because if support WAS offered, I would likely have declined it, through not wanting to appear impaired. My moods have been up and down like the fiddler's elbow, but my frustration has driven me through, determined to make the best of this I can.

Hoping for the very best for you.

Dear Gaia

How determined you sound and I am glad for you that you are back in work and a routine. What a terrible time you have had - my heart goes out to you.

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post - much appreciated .

I had aggressive hormonal breast cancer and was signed off by my surgeon this year so I was all up and blustery looking foward the future. Was used to the ups and downs of chemo, radiotherapy and herceptin but surprised how strange that a BI is.

Am going to take a deep breath and try again!

Bless you and many thanks.


We're always here for you, the chemical/physical of the cancer must have been hideous, and some of the coping strategies might carry you through this next chapter.

We can, and we will come through this, the brain injury has a massive emotional impact, as well as a physical drain, allow yourself time to process.

Yes, thank you must use them again . Was hoping not to have to go back there !

Yes, together we will battle against BI - thank you xxx

Dear writer52 id say take every day just as it comes, without expectation, and let things unfold. It's really easy to be hard on yourself and compare new and old. Let whatever process needs to happen just happen, no rush, pause a while to experience things, feel them as best you can, do your best to accept the changes and it will transform you slowly which is less stress why hurry! Stress is bad but natural, good luck and please ask anyone anytime if you need a kind word or hand.


in reply to lloydyuk

Thank you BI - feel like the world is a roundabout and I can't get on !

Am going to have to try and chill out and rest my way back to health and happiness .

It's good to chat I feel like a bit of weight has been lifted this evening !


in reply to Writer52

Well there you go a really good start!!

You may also like...