Left my memory at home!

Suggested to my daughter that we should go out today and she wanted to go to her favourite cafe inSouth lakes. I thought this was a great idea as the sun was shining. Drove all the way to the Lakes and then, BOOM, I couldn't remember the way from the end of the motorway! No use asking my daughter as she's only 10! After 2 hours of driving, had to admit to defeat. Finished a disappointing day off at her favourite restaurant 2 miles from home 😖

5 Replies

  • What a shame,Trelfy.Maybe Sat Nav,google search,print maps,write down directions for next time ? x

  • I wonder if you were trying too hard to please your daughter. Could you have been attempting to compensate for the recent upset in your relationship with her mum......................and your brain was just so preoccupied with recent events that you lost your bearings ??

    I'm sure your daughter will have seen how hard you'd tried to please her and to make the day special. The important message for her will have been that, whatever happened, you wanted to spend the day with her.

    Sounds like you're just a good dad doing the best that he can, and it doesn't hurt our kids to see that we are sometimes less than perfect. :o xx

  • I've done a similar thing too quite a few times - an example was I had to get my son to a venue to do archery with Cubs. Not local but the next town but venue in the countryside surrounding. Used to know the area but .........you've guessed it I'm sure......I couldn't find it either using the Sat Nav or by my back up of maps! I knew I was near and the Sat Nav certainly kept taking me around where it should have been but I just couldn't work out where to go to actually get there. I ended up very upset because I felt I was failing my son because he wasn't going to be able to attend an activity he very much enjoys with his Cubs. I drove a little way away to a place I did know well and parked up to try and calm myself and stop my tears as couldn't drive in such a state. I kept apologizing to my son that I was sorry that because of me he couldn't attend his fun activity. He was clearly very disappointed but stoically said 'it doesn't matter mum'. I felt awful as this wasn't the first time I had failed him in this way of trying to get him somewhere he needed to be. I then rang 'akela' to tell her what had happened and that we were going back home. She was nearby apparently with another leader and so they said they would drive to where I was to find me and then I could follow there car. Which we did. And yes I and had been within a stones throw of the place!!! The activity was to last 2 hours and where as I had planned to go off and come back I realized I couldn't leave the place as probably would be unable to find it again so I spent the 2 hours sat in the car in the cold and dark (winter season). Apparently I couldn't sit at the back in the barn and watch because for health and safety reasons because I wasn't insured. As I hadn't planned to stay there, of course I had nothing with me to do and hadn't particularly put my warmest clothes on. It was the longest, most boring, freezing coldest 2 hours I had to endure. Sadly this seems to be post BI life these days. But I can understand telfry that total sense of being a foolish failure as a parent. That feeling is far to often experienced in many different ways post BI.

  • Hi trelfy1,

    Try not to look at it as a disappointing day, after all you were out with your daughter, a frustrating day maybe, but ended well because you ended up at a different but still favourite restraurant and had a varied drive getting there.

    All any of us can do is our best and if it doesn't work out as well as we plan at least we know we've done our best.

    At ten your daughter will be well able to understand and make allowances for your problems.

    Take care and try not to blame yourself so much, after all BI is not a career choice or a voluntary life style decision.


  • Must have been frustrating, I wasn't driving a car during my worst navigation periods post TBI, but I did lose pounds, driving round & round the country lanes near me, before I stumbled back into more familiar roads, not that I should have been that unfamiliar with the country lanes relatively near my home! :(

    However nearly 7 years on am navigated in my car competently. healthunlocked.com/headway/...

    I did buy a sat' nav' soon after I got back behind the wheel, but I think the main value has been to increase my confidence; you still need to look at a map, in my opinion, and have reasonable idea of where you are headed. Don't know how long ago your BI occurred, but I am sure you'll get there. Don't put too much pressure on yourself!

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